Becoming the Creator of My Future (Faya’s story)

Ep: 229

Too often, we rest on the belief that everything in life happens to us.

Not only does this negatively affect our sense of power and control, but it can keep us stuck in patterns that don’t lead to the future we want.

The truth is that YOU are in control and you can become the creator of your own life. 

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment®, Blake welcomes Faya to the show to share her story. After leaving the workforce for a few years to start a family, she returned with diminished confidence that was preventing her from seeing her worth. But, the moment she decided to invest in herself, everything changed.

In this episode, you’ll learn to recognize the patterns that are shaping your belief system, and why those very thoughts are holding you back. You’ll hear how uncovering her Secret Sauce Transferrable Skills™ helped Faya retake control and finally find alignment in her life and career.

If you’re ready to become the hero of your own story, creating the future you want starts with investing in yourself. 

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why Faya ultimately made the choice to invest in herself (4:08)
  • Breaking away from patterns that follow us (6:50)
  • Lessons from the program that are helping her shape her future (10:11), (13:33)
  • Becoming the hero of her own story (19:17)
  • The shift after discovering her Secret Sauce Transferrable Skills™ (20:21)

Favorite Quotes:

  1. “I knew that in order to feel more fulfilled and create a better future I needed some help with my confidence. And that’s when I made the decision to invest in me.” – Faya
  2. “One of the biggest lessons I learned in my life and career was a shift from believing that life was happening to me to actually understanding that I can and do have the power to create my future.” – Blake
  3. “I know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.” – Faya
  4. “Most of the struggles we have in our lives are due to misalignment. We’re doing things that actually aren’t aligned with who we are authentically as a person.” – Blake

Additional Resources:

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is.
We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to:

For other programs and opportunities to work with Blake, go to


Faya 0:05
Understanding myself on how to clearly communicate and be the hero of my story, as opposed to just a passive person in my story, knowing that I am the creator of my life and I have control over what my future looks like, and how I built my future has created so much more meaning and depth to my life.

Blake Schofield 0:36
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment®, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment®.

Blake Schofield 1:10
Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment®. I’m really excited to have my client, Faya, here today to share a little bit about her personal journey. And some of the shifts that have really helped her be more present and enjoy her life and her family so much more while she’s in her journey to what’s next. So with that said, welcome Faya, so excited to have you on the podcast.

Faya 1:35
Thank you for having me. I’m excited to be here.

Blake Schofield 1:38
Oh, thank you. I’m excited to have you. So as I was thinking about our time together today, I was thinking about our journey and when we first connected, and I’d love to hear from you so that you can share with our audience a little bit about your background and kind of what was going on when we connected, what was happening in your life?

Faya 1:57
Yeah, so I was part of some of the early pandemic layoffs, I was on furlough from a company that I had been with for 14 years, I went on furlough. And then my position was eliminated two weeks prior to giving birth to my daughter. So the company was generously paid out my maternity leave. And then also a great severance as well. So I kind of took that opportunity and extended my maternity leave. And that extended maternity leave kind of lasted now going on almost three years. So a really nice extended maternity leave. And I had another child in that time as well. But I was really looking to get back into full time work because I was missing the social aspects of collaborating on a team and leading a team. So I really missed that. And I wanted to feel fulfilled outside of just being a mom. So I was looking to jump back into full time work, but was kind of struggling, I think, with lack of confidence, because of my extended leave from working full time and being able to kind of see what skills I had and what value I brought to companies. So I was really struggling and I had applied to many jobs, will say quite a few, probably more than necessary and jobs that probably I didn’t even want. So that’s when I kind of I knew something needed to change in order to make a difference.

Blake Schofield 3:18
And one of the hardest parts about being in a place where you’re sort of at that crossroads, you’re applying to all of these jobs, and then you feel like nothing’s progressing. What was the sign or symptom that made you realize this, this is not working, I need to do something different.

Faya 3:35
I think the biggest thing was just I knew I couldn’t continue down the same path. And I wanted help kind of getting some more confidence in myself and in my future and getting a better, more positive outlook or more optimistic outlook on what the future could look like.

Blake Schofield 3:55
So as you and I connected, we kind of talked about your journey, what led you to decide that you were ready to invest in yourself and you wanted to take a step forward? What was that like? And what was that decision like for you?

Faya 4:08
I was very hesitant at first, I will be honest, because I was hesitant to spend the money at the time, both me and my husband were unemployed at the same time. So we not having a steady income coming in looking at spending that money. I was very reluctant. But when we spoke, I knew that in order to feel more fulfilled and to have a better future and create a better future. I needed some help with my confidence, really. And that’s when I made the decision to invest in me and focus on me. I hadn’t done that in quite some time. You know, I had been all about raising my kids and kind of being a stay at home mom, so kind of myself here and my progress in my career kind of got put on the backburner, and I was time to really invest in myself again.

Blake Schofield 4:56
Awesome. So as you started this journey, thinking back to the beginning, what was the first big win or big shift that you had that really started to move things in the right direction for you?

Faya 5:08
I think just getting back some of my time, that was pretty huge and kind of having freeing up some of my time to not have to think about, okay, when am I going to do the laundry? When am I going to do the dishes? When are we going to do you know, like, all these different tasks that I had to do, because I felt like when I was working, I didn’t have any time. Then when I was a stay at home mom, all of a sudden, I thought I would have all this time. But I had no time. So I didn’t know where my time was going. So kind of evaluating where my time was, where it was going, and how to block off time for myself to work on myself. And thankfully, I have a very supportive husband. So he was willing to support me in that. And I think he gains from it as well really locking up the time that we each could work on searching for jobs or things like that really helped both of us in order to really free up that time and have that time back.

Blake Schofield 6:08
I remember early on in the journey, as you mentioned, both you and your husband are out of work, you’re both looking often when you’re in circumstances like that it can be very triggering from a feeling unsafe, a lot of fear, doubt and anxiety. What did you learn to this process that helps you through that difficult time?

Faya 6:27
I think knowing that the past does not dictate your future was huge. So knowing that, yes, we were in a circumstance. But that doesn’t mean that we needed to continue in this circumstance and continue in the path that we were going on and that the future could look a lot brighter.

Blake Schofield 6:45
Hmm, that’s such a powerful lesson. And I think one most people struggle with because we often believe that whatever happens to us is out of our control. And if we see the same patterns happening in our lives, that they’re just going to keep happening. For those of you guys listening, interesting factoid, our brains match patterns. And so if you’ve had things happen in your past, often in the future, we can get triggered by whatever happened in the past, because our brain is going to pattern match. And then it’s going to create a view of what they, it thinks the future will be. Most of us don’t know this, but we’re constantly sort of going through this cycle of life believing when things happen, oh, my goodness, and this is going to be the outcome. For you Faya, what helps you have to shift as this has been our past, but it doesn’t have to be our future.

Faya 7:32
I, reading the book that you shared, that one was a huge help in, like helping me realize that. That I could be the creator of my future, and I am the creator of my future. So that was a big one. And then just listening in on some of the calls and listening to some of the other women on the calls and sharing in their wins and sharing in their, in their progress and kind of seeing, I thought it was very valuable seeing, especially at the start of the program, listening in on the calls and seeing the women who are further along in the program that I was seeing their progress and seeing how much they had learned or what the steps that they were taking. That was really powerful in showing me what I could create for my future as well.

Blake Schofield 8:17
You are so speaking my language right now, because one of the biggest lessons I learned in my life and career, especially after 18 years of you know, going through the roller coaster of happy, unhappy, happy, unhappy, happy, unhappy, was a shift from believing that life was happening to me. I was beholden to the circumstances in my life, to then actually being able to understand that I can and do have the power to create my future. If you could go back and talk to yourself, what would you have told yourself?

Faya 8:46
Knowing what I know now I really would have started the program a lot sooner, I probably would have invested in myself a lot sooner, and not waited two and a half to three years in order to make the transition the financial piece of it, I wouldn’t have waited until it was more of a say dire situation but kind of where I’ve felt a huge lack of competence. I would have started it a little bit sooner, almost right away after I was ready to jump back into a career I definitely would have started earlier.

Blake Schofield 9:14
Why do you think you didn’t back then? What’s the lesson?

Faya 9:17
I think I felt like I could do it all on my own. I felt like I, it wouldn’t be that hard. I saw other people, you know, jumping into new careers after they were eliminated. And I was like, oh, okay, this is, this is gonna be easy. And it for me, it just wasn’t as easy. Especially I feel like after a certain amount of time went on. I just kind of, it continually just got kind of ate away at my confidence and like kind of just like a self fulfilling prophecy. I was thinking I couldn’t get a job so then I couldn’t get a job. And it just kind of continued to spiral down.

Blake Schofield 9:54
One of the things that concerns you about potentially coming into the program was that you felt like asking for help didn’t come naturally. And so beautiful synergy of what you just said, how have your belief systems, or have your belief systems changed around asking for help?

Faya 10:11
I am definitely more open and more willing to ask for help. I know that asking for help is not a sign of weakness now, where before I used to view it kind of as, well, you should be able to do this all by yourself, you don’t need help. And now it’s, it’s actually, I now view it more as a sign of strength to say, Hey, I can’t do it by myself, I do need someone else to help or this just isn’t my strength. So I’m going to live where my strengths are, and ask for help where where my strengths are not. And that way, allows me, frees me, frees me up to do what I’m really strong at. And then where I need help is or where my weaknesses lie. So something that I just needed to know.

Blake Schofield 10:58
Awesome. And I think what you’re saying about this belief system, I should be able to do it on my own. I think many of us that become high achievers have that belief system, often we grew up in families that celebrate or encourage us to solve it, figure it out, get it done. And just as every strength can also be our Achilles heel. That was the same Achilles heel I had. And I, what I would love to share is we all have strengths, and we all then have the opposing weaknesses, it is impossible to be good at everything. And I think schools sometimes do us a big disservice in that where we should have all A’s and everything and be equally good at everything. But the gift that I’ve always found is understanding why you’ve been given the gifts, strengths, passions, abilities that you’ve been given and live in that. And there’s so much data that proves when you focus your energy on getting better at what you’re good at, you’d like 10 times the positive momentum and impact that you do, but then focusing on something you’re not as good at.

Blake Schofield 11:59
And so there’s anybody listening that feels like they should be able to figure it out on their own, or they worry that asking for help is a sign of weakness or a burden to other people. What I hope to be able to expand your mind on today is that you do have strengths. And therefore those strengths have opposing weaknesses. And the people who truly understand and focus their energy on the strengths are the ones that are going to win. There’s so much power in asking for help. Truly it’s changed my life. Faya what are some ways you’ve seen shifting your perspective and recognizing that asking for help is a sign of strength? How has that changed either your relationships or your life? What’s come to fruition as a result of that?

Faya 12:38
I think when I was networking, I was always hesitant to reach out to people because I thought people would say no, or have had the fear of rejection from someone that I didn’t even know. And so I think asking for help and just to say, not so much asking for help from someone in terms of networking, but asking just for a call or chat, people are very willing to help and they want to help. So that willingness and the, the want to help. I think just knowing that makes it a little bit easier. And I think it, think back to if someone had asked me that, would I say yes? Or would I say no? And most of the time? I’m like, Yeah, I would definitely say yes. So I know a lot of people would probably feel the same as well.

Blake Schofield 13:23
Awesome. Let me ask if you, you kind of have some time to take a walk down memory lane. Look at your journey so far. How would you say that this journey has changed your life?

Faya 13:33
The biggest thing is my positive outlook and building back myself competent. I think those are kind of some of the biggest things that I’ve taken away. And also, I think, a shift in my view on abundance, not kind of viewing it as things or money or stuff coming in. It’s having more gratitude and more appreciation for the time spent with my kids in valuing that a little bit differently than I had before.

Blake Schofield 14:02
Awesome. One of the other things you, you mentioned was learning to let go of needing everything to be perfect. Can you share a little bit more about that journey?

Faya 14:12
Yes, I think I put a lot of pressure on myself, especially working through the program to make sure and even I found myself doing this in you know, previous work, making sure everything was perfect before sharing it with others or submitting it for review or whatever. And understanding that there is no perfect and everything is kind of a work in progress. I now have feel a lot less pressure than I did before. And because of that, that lack of pressure, I actually feel more confident and I think it’s also a lot of that has carried over into my personal life and my patience as a mother. I felt and I put a lot of pressure on myself to be what you would consider the perfect mom, which there is no perfect mom, I think, there’s the pressure, you have to fill your child’s time with so much stuff and activities and make sure that they’re, you know, not having tantrums or not, going to bed on time, eating the right foods, all the, all the things that society puts on a mom and puts the pressure on a mom to make sure that they’re perfect. And realizing that I don’t have to be perfect, I just need to show up and be there for them. I think that relieves a lot of my stress as a mom. So you know that me just being present is definitely more beneficial to them and more positive to them than any of the other things.

Blake Schofield 15:35
Awesome. I love that so much. Because when we invest in ourselves, we’re also investing in our children and their future. One of the things you talk about, you just talked about was being more present with your kids. I think that was a big driver for me and wanting to leave my retail career and you know, just, not just physically but mentally be present. But I think that can be hard for a lot of people, because your brain can be on overdrive, constantly thinking about all the things you need to do. Was that true of you months ago, before you started the program, and how have you been able to learn how to be more present on a day to day basis?

Faya 16:13
When I think back to my work that I was doing prior to having my kids, I knew that working 60 plus hours a week was not going to be beneficial. And that wasn’t sustainable having kid. So I think showing up and being present, making sure that the role that I’m looking at, or the companies that I’m looking at, value, a work life balance. And a work life balance, to me, meant having the flexibility to not have to work in the office, five days a week, 10 plus hours a day. So making sure that and then being able to, to have the flexibility to pick my kids up from school and be there for them after school, be there for them in any of their extracurricular activities, and making sure that I was just there for them. And having not just being there for them in the physical sense, but also in the mental sense to making sure that my, I was in the mental space to stop work and come home and just be present, not have to be thinking about work still or thinking about, Oh, I didn’t finish this project, or I didn’t finish this, or you know, kind of having that running reel in my head. And some of that, going back to kind of the daily schedule as well, making sure that I didn’t have this running wheel in my head. So I’m not mentally present for my kid.

Blake Schofield 17:35
What have you learned about your ability to not have the running wheel that you didn’t know, several months ago?

Faya 17:43
Getting it down on paper, that was the biggest thing, I was never one for lists and still work in progress, because there’s still a little bit of the running wheel in my head. But I’m trying to get more of that out and on paper. And then I feel like now that I’m getting it out and on paper, some of that mental load is, I’m able to share that with my husband. And he’s able to take on a lot more and help in ways that he didn’t before because he just didn’t know. I just expected him to know. But he didn’t know. So I think that’s that’s been really huge.

Blake Schofield 18:18
I love that, right? It is a process change for you, but also the being willing to ask for help and recognizing it’s a sign of strength as a secondary piece of that. And both of those came together to create a different outcome. That’s awesome. So Faya, one of the things I’ve been pondering about the last, I don’t know, couple of weeks is what I have seen to be true in my life when I see sort of consistently, which is that depth in many ways is the key to success. And almost every avenue of life. It’s how I was so successful in the merchant roles I ran back in, in retail, it’s how I’ve been successful doing this work with my clients. And it’s a big piece of I think why? Well, it’s a big differentiator in how we do things here at The Bridge to Fulfillment®, then I think how so many other people do them? Have you also seen that key and understanding depth in your life? And how do you understand yourself at a deeper level now than you used to?

Faya 19:17
I think, understanding myself on how to clearly communicate and be the hero of my story as opposed to just a passive person in my story, knowing that I am the creator of my life and I have control over what my future looks like and how I build my future, has created so much more meaning and depth to my life.

Blake Schofield 19:41
In my experience, most of the struggles we have in our lives are due to misalignment. Things that actually aren’t aligned with who we are authentically as a person. And so a big part of what we do at the beginning part of this process, right, is be able to help identify what’s misaligned in your life. And through that process, we really go deep to understand who you are as a person. Right? What is your fulfillment framework? What are your secret sauce skills? Because I believe you don’t know that it’s really hard to be a hero of your story, how has your understanding of who you are, what you need to be fulfilled, and what you’re exceptionally gifted at? How’s it different than what it used to be?

Faya 20:22
I think previously, I defined myself a lot by the role that I was doing, and the skills that I needed for that specific role. Now, I know that the role doesn’t have to define me, I’m able, I have my own secret sauce skills that are transferable to multiple different roles, and all of those different roles or opportunities. But there’s only so many of those roles that will actually fit with their criteria, what I’m looking for in my life, in terms of what I want, you know, work life balance, or the flexibility at work, or all of those different things that I need in order to feel fulfilled. Meaning, you know, I want to be able to be challenged, or, you know, I want to be innovative, I want to be in a company that’s progressive, and is collaborative, and all of those different things that I’m looking for in a role or in a company to really be it’s not one sided, I guess, if that makes sense.W here it has to be something that I’m looking for, as well as a good fit for the company as well.

Blake Schofield 21:25
Awesome. All right. Well, this has been so much fun. We’re about to wrap up our time together. So let me ask you, Is there anything I haven’t asked you that I should have, or anything that’s just really on your heart that you want to share?

Faya 21:39
The only thing I would say is, I wish I would have jumped on the program a lot sooner. But I’m glad that I took the opportunity when I did. And now more excited about my future and more optimistic.

Blake Schofield 21:54
Awesome. Thank you so much, lady, I really appreciate you sharing your journey, your perspective. Because the things that you talk about the ability to no longer be stuck in the perfectionist loop, the ability to understand and know how to create the future that you want, to be present in your day to day life, and to really be able to seek out the right opportunities, the right partnerships, for yourself. That’s huge. And I think those are skills that so many people in the world can benefit from. I certainly, obviously things I went through in my own journey to be able to uncover and do this as well. And so I just appreciate you sharing this to help other people know what’s possible for them, because that’s huge.

Faya 22:35
I appreciate the opportunity to share because I really enjoyed hearing from the other women in the program. So I hope that my story can help someone else.

Blake Schofield 22:46
Thank you. Thank you. Alright, so for those of you guys who have joined us, thank you so much. I hope that phase stories really opened up and shown you that there’s so much more possibility for your life. So until next time, have a great one.

Blake Schofield 23:06
Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener, identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead!