You Pay the Price Emotionally on Your Unused Potential

Ep: 168

Do you sometimes feel like you’re sleepwalking through a life that you didn’t choose?

The truth is that if you’re not following your own path and aiming to reach the goals you’ve set for yourself, then you’re the one who pays the emotional price.

If you find yourself bargaining too often, second-guessing yourself, or quietly pushing through things you don’t want to do, then you’re likely experiencing misalignment.

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment, Blake walks you through the thoughts and feelings that result from a life and career that is misaligned. Holding back on your unused potential means you could end up paying the ultimate price. But you have a choice.

You can create the life you want. 

In this episode, you’ll learn how career coaching can help you find work-life alignment. You’ll hear the story of one woman who was able to finally see her job for what it was and gather the courage and clarity to seek more joy and fulfillment in her work. You’ll also understand the price you pay by staying put in a job that doesn’t truly value you, rather than using the gifts you have in a job that aligns with who you are.

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • What misalignment looks and feels like (0:43)
  • How to stop sleepwalking through life and make a change (2:00)
  • Why you pay the price for staying put in a job that isn’t aligned with your goals (7:28)

 

Favorite Quotes:

  1. “[Change] ​starts with getting honest about the gap between the life we have and the one we want.”
  2. “We’re trying to bend reality today to be what we want it to be. And in doing so, we actually stunt our ability to achieve our goals.”
  3. “We must first see reality for what it is. And only then can we begin to create the future that we really want.”
  4. “When we’re leading a life misaligned from what we want, it’s creating so many negative impacts on our health, on our emotions, on our relationships, and ultimately, on the life that we’re meant to be living.”

 

Additional Resources: 

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is. 

We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: https://thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:05 Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is the bridge to fulfillment. misalignment in our lives is so clear when you know what to look for. It comes in the form of bargaining, second guessing ourselves, pushing through the things we don’t like to do. Listening to others who tell us “we should,” focusing on what we don’t want instead of what we do, allowing fear to be in the driver’s seat of our decision making, believing in black and white, all or nothing options, hiding the truth about what we really want, either from ourselves, or others. But in the quiet moments, the truth always comes through to us the reality, you pay the price emotionally on your unused potential. I see it every day. It’s the crux of most of our unhappiness, the frustration of the goals, we aren’t achieving, or fear that we may never reach the unsettled feeling that there’s something more that constant striving and chasing of achievement, and more the dulling of our feelings and emotional experiences through food, alcohol, social media, or TV. In many ways, it is like sleepwalking through life, we get so used to it that we don’t even realize we actually hold the keys to creating the very life we want. But it starts with getting honest about the gap between the life we have and the one we want. It starts with investing our time, energy and resources to commit to creating that future and just seeking help to navigate the path forward. Often, I think we have to choose our heart. And many times what I see is that we’re choosing the wrong one, we’re avoiding the very thing that would give us freedom. Instead, we’re trying to bend reality today to be what we want it to be. And in doing so we actually stunt our ability to achieve our goals, we must first see reality for what it is. And only then can we begin to create the future that we really want.

Blake Schofield 2:47 For example, I was on a call with a woman earlier this week, who shared with me that she had been at our company for about 15 years. And she was there were parts of her job she enjoyed. And there were other parts that she didn’t. But ultimately, it was a company that wouldn’t really serve her needs. She shared with me how she had to work 100% in office, but she really wanted to either work remotely or hybrid so she could have more flexibility to really see and spend more time with her children. She shared with me that she was no longer passionate about the path ahead. And she didn’t want the job ahead of her. And she also shared with me how she had actually identified the type of work she wanted. She actually went and pitched to the company to create a specific job that would allow her to do that work. And that the company did create that job. But they actually gave it to someone else. And they never even considered her for the position. And when faced with a moment of having to decide and see reality as it was versus bending reality, of having to make a choice to create what she wanted, instead of staying in what she didn’t. She began to doubt and question herself. Maybe perhaps this job isn’t that bad. Maybe actually, I should stay and wait until I get a bonus or until I know what my next pay increase will be.

Blake Schofield 4:19 And I stopped in that moment. And I shared with her the reality of the situation, the mirror of what was really going on, which was this. Wait a second, let me understand correctly. Did you say that what you really want is more flexibility for your family and for yourself and that you know that you can’t get that flexibility this company? She said yes. And I said You also told me that you know that this job is somewhat of a dead end, right that you can’t move up in the next role. And she said yes. Oh, and I forgot there was another piece she had shared with me. She had shared with me that it was a fairly flat smaller organization and as a result of that her title was not really representative of what she’d experienced that she felt that there was a gap in the market. And she was concerned about how to communicate that. And so I said to her, okay, and so do you really believe that to be true that there’s this gap and challenge because of what you’ve experienced in the market? She said, Yes. And I said, so if you stayed in this company longer, does that help reduce that gap? Or does it continue to increase it? And she said, Well, it would increase it. I said, of course. And then I said, And do you believe that based on what’s happened in the organization that you actually gave them the suggestion for this role, told them explicitly that you wanted it. And they instead interviewed and gave it to somebody else, and they have yet to actually share anything with you about why you weren’t considered? Do you believe that the company sees growth potential and is looking to really retain and care about you and your career in the organization. And then the truth had her the real truth of the reality of her circumstance, that she’s continuing to put time and energy and effort into an organization that’s not doing the same for her that staying in this company won’t actually create the future that she wants. We have to see reality for what it is, before we can actually create the right plan and move forward. Right?

Blake Schofield 6:25 One of the big things I’ve come to understand is that seeing misalignment has always been a gift of mine. You know, when I was in corporate people would talk about how I was the turnaround queen, I could come into any business, and massively improve it. And I use the same skills back then that I use today, the ability to come in and see where things don’t match where they don’t line up. And the ability to truly see and maximize potential, what that future really could and should be, and what are the path to get there. And so for you, this may be the first time that you’re thinking about or understanding what you’re experiencing as misalignment. You may not have ever understood that that’s what you’re experiencing and going through. And perhaps you spend a significant portion of your life, second guessing yourself, doubting yourself, making decisions from fear, over analyzing or overthinking, or being fearful of actually seeing the truth. But here’s what I want you to know. You pay the price emotionally on your unused potential. Staying stuck in a place where you know, you aren’t going to reach your potential, or you’re not creating the life you want is far more destructive than most people see. Because again, they’re too busy trying to dull ignore or bend reality. But today, perhaps I’ve opened the door to help you see one of the very most important keys to creating the life that you want. Because when you do the work to create alignment, and tap into your full potential, that is the path that you’re ultimately seeking. The path of peace, freedom, joy, connection, and impact. That is the path of a life well lived. And so if in listening to this message, you feel like there are places in your life that are really misaligned. And you’re ready to commit to understanding and gaining clarity and the right strategic tools to get you where you want to go. I encourage you to reach out and connect. Because ultimately, right? I believe that when a student is ready, the teacher appears there are lessons all around us trying to help give us the right direction. The question is, are we listening? Are we listening to that inner voice at night? Or in the quiet moments that’s telling us that there must be something more? Are we listening to what we want? Or are we instead just getting stuck in the everyday life, I’m not sure how to get there. Right?

Blake Schofield 9:12 Those further ahead of the path know how to show us how to get where we want to go. And I’ll tell you this work has infinitely changed my life. And I’ve watched it continue to do the same for so many others. And I know it to be true that when we’re leading a life misaligned from what it is that we want, it’s creating so many negative impacts on our health, on our emotions, on our relationships, and ultimately, on the life that we’re meant to be living. So I hope today’s message was impactful to you. And I hope not only will this resonate with you, but you will take action from what you’ve learned today to create that clarity and that change that you want and desire for your life and career as well. Until next time; have a great week.

Blake Schofield 10:11 Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan . Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan . Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead.