Create Change in a Toxic Work Environment

Ep: 162

If you’re feeling unhappy in your workplace, every negative interaction and lack of recognition thereafter can start to flood your emotions. That growing toxicity can make you feel like a ship taking on more and more water.

“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.”

You are not powerless. You CAN create change in your life. You just need the right tools to rid your ship of the water that’s weighing you down.

Today, Blake explains how you can leverage and empower yourself in order to create change, rather than waiting or expecting someone else to do it for you. In order to move forward and release yourself from the burden and the stress of a toxic work environment, you’ve got to learn how to lead the leader.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to identify small changes you can make in the interim as you search for a healthier environment. Blake encourages you to uncover the root of your unhappiness and understand why you feel so powerless to create change. You’ll learn the concept of leading the leader, one of the most effective ways to start to shift toxic experiences in your current job as you begin to create change.

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • How your perception of being powerless is affecting how you feel at work (1:02)
  • A question to ask yourself if you want to instigate change (1:57)
  • What stops us from advocating for ourselves (3:18)
  • What it means to lead the leader (4:43)
  • Why the way we communicate our dissatisfaction matters (5:49)

 

Favorite Quotes:

  1. Your environment is not you.
  2. The only person that can advocate for ourselves, is us.
  3. It’s not just your circumstances that are making you unhappy. There are skills, habits, boundaries, or beliefs that you either need to learn or to shift to actually get you where you want to go.
  4. Understanding the emotions of your boss, the executive team, that co-worker, and yourself is a really critical key in helping you identify how you can use that awareness and that emotional intelligence to actually create change.

 

Additional Resources:

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is. 

We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: https://thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:01 Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down. I love this quote, because it’s so true. And today we’re talking about how to handle toxic work environments. And there are just a few things I want to share with you today. And this really brief episode, to really help you understand number one, that you’re not alone. But number two, that you are not powerless. Many times when we feel trapped in environments or circumstances that aren’t what we want, we feel a sense of uncertainty. And we feel a sense of inability to create change. And that feeling of powerlessness and the fear of what might happen, if we actually took action is actually the very thing that’s toxic, even more so than the circumstance that we’re sitting in. And it’s that toxicity that we tell ourselves that truly makes us sink. I can tell you having personally worked in toxic environments, and now having worked with hundreds of women who would tell you that they came from toxic environments. So there are a couple of important things to know. Number one, your environment is not you and it doesn’t have to be part of what you need to be able to identify is what change can I create in the interim until I can get into a healthy environment or a healthier environment, right? So part of what’s important is to stop and actually ask yourself, what change can I create in the interim, until I can get into a healthier environment. And I often talk about leading the leader, it’s my methodology on really leveraging and empowering yourself to create change rather than waiting or expecting someone else to do it for you. And I think this is really important. We often believe that the micromanaging boss who’s constantly making our lives miserable, knows that they’re making our lives miserable, or is intentionally trying to make our lives miserable. That the leadership who seems to have unrealistic expectations, they constantly force on us that they know that what they’re asking for takes three times the amount of time is the resources we actually have. But I would tell you more often than not, those leaders have no clue what’s going on. Because they’re so overwhelmed or so busy, are so unaware of what everyone else is experiencing. And so I want you to stop for a second and realize that many times when we’re frustrated in our careers are unhappy is because we expect that everybody is experiencing what we’re experiencing, and they know how we feel. And that’s just not true. The only person that can advocate for ourselves, is us. But often we aren’t doing that because we are so frustrated and beaten down or exhausted or feel powerless and environments that are creating stress and anxiety, lack of fulfillment, lack of boundaries. You know, Often I’m asked by women who come into the program are interested at the belt, the bridge to fulfillment that they don’t have time and they’re stressed out. And they can’t imagine that they would be able to find three to five hours a week to do this program. And what I tell them is that this program was built for busy working women. And the fact that you were are where you are right now struggling, tells me this is the perfect program for you. Because we help our clients within a matter of weeks, find and repurpose on average 20% of their time back. So that this program is not in addition to the work they’re doing, but they’re actually feeling less stressed while making more momentum and doing the work. How is that possible? It’s possible because it’s not just your circumstances that are making you unhappy. There are skills, habits, boundaries, or beliefs that you either need to learn or shift to actually get you where you want to go. And so when I share with you, that most likely if you stop and think about it, you’re expecting that people know how you feel what you’re experiencing, and that they see it for you. But the reality is, that just doesn’t happen. In order to make forward movement, you’ve got to learn how to lead the leader. And certainly this is far too complicated and in depth of a topic for me to cover on a short podcast. But I’ll give you a few insights of keys to look for, right? Number one, you’ve got to identify what is the root cause of the problem? Why is my boss constantly micromanaging? Why is my workload completely out of whack? Why is this coworker reacting in this way to me, if you don’t identify the root cause you can’t understand what shifts you can make. Once you do, it can open up the door to empower you to create amazing change.

Blake Schofield 5:07 Once you’ve identified the root cause, then you can begin to build a plan. Often, when we are overwhelmed, or frustrated, or unhappy in toxic environments, we become very emotional. And we may express that emotion and be met with, well, you just need to figure it out, or that’s just the way it is, etc. And we shut down because we believe them, they don’t care. They’re not listening, and nothing’s going to change. But often what I actually find is, it’s the way of which is being communicated that is creating the shutdown and the inability to create change. And with the right strategy, you actually can. How do I know this? Well, number one, I’ve done it myself. But I’ve now done it many, many, many times over with my clients in terms of really improving their current work situation, while they were trying to find and move into the next role. And part of it really comes from focusing on facts and data and not emotion, focusing on resources, and what is possible instead of what isn’t. And again, part of it comes from really being able to identify what is actually the root cause? And how can I begin to create a different dynamic, because while your pitch and while your conversation needs to come from a place of data and facts, understanding emotions of your boss, the executive team, that co worker, yourself is a really critical key to being able to help you identify how you can use that awareness and that emotional intelligence to actually create change to reduce stress and anxiety to build better relationships to build trust. And in doing that, you can create more change. Like I said, I have not done this hundreds of times. And it’s amazing the change that can happen when you learn these skills. Now, does it mean that you’re going to turn an entirely toxic environment into a healthy one? No. But it what it does mean is you step stop letting the water fill up the boat, what it does mean is you are able to see progress in terms of making things better and more tolerable. So that you have more energy and more momentum, and more motivation to find the right environment for you. And when you move into that right environment, the likelihood is you’re not going to move to a company where everyone is 100% healthy, and there are no toxic people. And so by learning this skill, you’re able to navigate it and navigate it very successfully, in an environment that’s suited to you where you can work how you naturally work best. And that is ultimately a way to create a really fulfilling career, one that you’re excited to go to and one where you truly see and feel valued for the work that you do. Thanks so much for joining me on today’s episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment. Until next time, have a great week.