Cultivating Confidence

Ep: 272

When your gut tells you something, do you listen or do you tend to push those feelings aside?

Intuition is your inner compass, but too often, we ignore those important signals- and that could be the very thing that’s holding you back from the life you want to create.

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment®, Blake explains why learning to trust your intuition is one of the fastest and most impactful ways to create the life that you want. She shares one simple thing you can do today to unlock your inner confidence.

In this episode, you’ll learn why so many of us lack confidence, and how societal conditioning and parenting paradigms have taught us to ignore how we feel. You’ll understand how that follows us into adulthood, resulting in a lack of confidence and self-gaslighting. You’ll learn the simple prompt that will help you start trusting your gut right now so you can cultivate more self-confidence and create a life of ease.

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • Why we lack confidence (2:46)
  • Ignoring the evidence of your intuition (7:11)
  • How a lack of self-trust manifests into adulthood (8:37)
  • Listening to your intuition (9:38)
  • Letting your inner compass guide you (11:20)

 

Favorite Quotes:

  1. “Your brain can only process about 25% of the stimulus that you are getting… the remaining 75% your brain literally does not know about. So when you override your intuition, you are ignoring 75% of the evidence that you are being given.” –Blake Schofield
  2. “Life is always working for you. It’s always working for your advantage. The challenge is we often are misinterpreting or overriding the lessons we’re being shown.” –Blake
  3. “Building confidence in yourself and your own decision making and your own intuition is one of the fastest and most impactful ways to be able to create the life that you want.” –Blake Schofield
  4. “True confidence doesn’t come from your identity in a job or relationship or parenting. It comes from being able to trust yourself and your decisions and know that you are creating the life and the career that you want.” –Blake Schofield

Additional Resources: 

For programs and opportunities to work with Blake, go to www.BlakeSchofield.com

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:05
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment. I’m a mom to three, USA Today Top 10 Professional Coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand perspectives to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment.

Blake Schofield 0:38
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in these last eight years of deep dives and truly understanding myself, my journey, and the human journey—the struggles, challenges, and opportunities that we all go through to build a more fulfilling life and career—is the importance of cultivating confidence.

Blake Schofield 1:08
It sounds simple: How do I become more confident? I think one of the biggest challenges we face as high achievers is this—I would have told you 10 years ago that I was confident. But as my identity started to shift, I realized that the confidence I had was really just confidence in my capability in my career. I was very confident I could be successful in my career because I had proof over and over again. But when I started to think about, “What if I never did that anymore?” or looked at other areas of my life, I really didn’t have that same level of confidence.

Blake Schofield 1:54
To be honest, I think society sort of shames or guilts people for that lack of confidence. It’s not something we talk about often, or if we do, we talk about it in a really negative way. It can be perplexing for people—”What do you mean you’re not confident when you’ve achieved X, Y, or Z?” Yet, I see the same pattern over and over: high achievers suffering cycles of burnout, anxiety, or lack of clarity, really wanting to figure out how they can lead more impactful careers and lives with more ease—without it being so hard, without doing unfulfilling work, or without feeling such heavy burdens and responsibilities.

Blake Schofield 2:42
Often, it’s that lack of confidence standing in the way of creating change or really being able to listen to ourselves and know what the right next step is.

Blake Schofield 2:54
So, why do we lack confidence? Think about it: from a very young age, we’re taught to override how we feel and see the world. We hurt our knee, and it’s like, “Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s okay.” A friend hurts our feelings, and we’re told, “Well, sometimes you just don’t get picked first, and you need to move on.”

Blake Schofield 3:14
We’re also taught that other people know more or better than we do. These are old parenting paradigms, old societal conditioning—the idea that the parent knows best, children should be seen and not heard, that the parent understands better what the child needs than the child themselves.

Blake Schofield 3:34
Now there’s so much emerging in parenting today that’s helping correct many of these things. But if you’re listening to this podcast, you likely grew up in a home where, when your feelings were hurt, there wasn’t a true discussion of, “Are you okay?”—meeting that with empathy and understanding why you’d have such an emotional reaction. There likely wasn’t encouragement to explore what you were curious about without being directed toward what was deemed “successful.”

Blake Schofield 4:06
At an early age, our natural tendencies were overridden. We began to believe that how we feel isn’t okay, that we’re a burden, that we should feel differently, or that we should act a certain way to be successful, loved, accepted.

Blake Schofield 4:23
Add to that a society focused on proof and facts instead of teaching people how to trust their intuition, and you end up with adults who gaslight themselves, ignore their instincts, and trust others more than themselves—even when something doesn’t feel right.

Blake Schofield 5:07
I had a conversation with a client today that was a beautiful example of this. He shared moments from the past week where he felt a certain way and immediately overrode it. He planned to work out, but his body felt tired. He took a 30-minute rest before working out but shamed himself for needing the rest—thinking, “I shouldn’t be tired. I should’ve forced myself to get up and work out.”

Blake Schofield 5:40
We do this to ourselves all the time. I said to him, “Wait a second. You overrode what your body needed, shamed yourself for resting even though your body told you to, and still worked out anyway. Who’s to say you should work out at a specific time?” That experience became a net negative because instead of honoring his body’s needs, he cycled through guilt and shame for being tired, taking the rest, and not working out earlier.

Blake Schofield 6:57
This is just one example. Without awareness, we do this repeatedly—meeting someone and instantly disliking them but overriding it, thinking, “I shouldn’t judge.” But your intuition was likely spot-on, protecting you. Yet you gaslight yourself because you lack proof.

Blake Schofield 7:17
Studies show our brain processes only about 25% of the stimuli we receive. The remaining 75%? Our brain doesn’t consciously register. So, when you override your intuition in favor of “facts,” you’re ignoring 75% of the evidence your body is giving you.

Blake Schofield 8:42
This erodes self-confidence. We learn to believe our feelings or experiences are wrong, seeking external validation instead. Over time, this leads to confusion, burnout, feeling trapped, and people-pleasing—believing that if others are happy, we can be happy. It’s a cycle of exhaustion and self-abandonment.

Blake Schofield 9:59
How can you cultivate confidence? Start by listening to your intuition. It often speaks in whispers—fleeting thoughts like, “I want to take that dance class,” or “I shouldn’t go there.” Slow down, recognize what it’s telling you, and follow through without overriding it.

Blake Schofield 11:02
When I get an intuitive nudge, I ask, “Will this cause harm to me or someone else?” If the answer is no, I follow through—regardless of logic. No expectations. Just action. Over time, I saw how these nudges connected dots I couldn’t have anticipated, opening doors and protecting me from misaligned people and situations.

Blake Schofield 12:10
True confidence doesn’t come from a job, relationship, or identity. It comes from trusting yourself, your decisions, and knowing you’re creating the life and career you want.

Blake Schofield 12:40
It starts with honoring your feelings without judgment—no “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Begin with tiny experiments. Follow the prompt. See what happens. Over time, you’ll build an “encyclopedia” of how your inner compass speaks to you, gaining confidence in what’s right and best for you. That’s where freedom lies.

Blake Schofield 13:11
We don’t talk enough about this as a society, but it’s the key to peace of mind, joy, freedom, and fulfillment. Life is always working in your favor. The challenge is interpreting the lessons. Trust yourself, gather evidence, and watch the beauty that unfolds.

Blake Schofield 14:05
Start today. Every day. Listen to what shows up for you. If it’s not harmful, take action—and watch the beauty that unfolds.