Confidently Turning Her Life Around (Emilee’s Story)

Ep: 179

Do you often feel like you’re just going through the motions of life?

You go to work, make a good income, and take the occasional vacation…but somehow, life just doesn’t make you feel as excited or energized as it should.

Changing your perspective about what’s possible starts with a single step. 

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment, Blake welcomes Emily to share her success story. As an accounting professional and a mother to two young children, she recognized how her work life was negatively impacting her home life. She decided it was time to stop “going through the motions” and start investing in herself. She wanted a better future that felt more in alignment with who she is.

So, she reached out and made the call that turned her life around.

In this episode, you’ll hear what stood out to her the most about our program, and how she went from feeling stuck to finally taking action. She shares how her experience growing up as the youngest of three created a lack of self-awareness, and why asking for help when she needed it allowed her to take space for herself and confidently make decisions based on what she wanted. You’ll learn what makes our job search process different, and how to know when you’re truly ready to embark on your career coaching journey.

If you’re ready to gain a greater sense of self-awareness and shift towards a more positive perspective on your life and career, then Emilee’s story will inspire you. 

A better, more aligned future is closer than you think

 

What You’ll Learn:

  • What makes our program different from the rest (2:00)
  • Why Emilee felt stuck and what drove her to finally initiate change (5:50)
  • How tapping into self-awareness helped her find herself again (12:38)
  • Why redefining the traditional job search yields better results (21:51)
  • How to know when you’re ready to make a change (24:09)

 

Favorite Quotes:

 

  1. I wish I would have done the program 10 years ago. But, I wouldn’t have been where I am now or have the significant growth that I’ve had because I didn’t have those experiences that were allowing me to say, okay, that’s not what I want. I want something different. -Emilee
  2. I really had no idea who I was or what I wanted. And now I do. Now I know exactly what I want and who I am. -Emilee
  3. I never felt that this feeling was possible for me. I never felt like I could get to this level and feel this confident and successful- just being able to be myself. I was always just going through the motions that we’re taught in school; just go get a job, work your hours to be able to go on vacations. Now, I’ve completely shifted the way I think about it and I honestly never would have gotten here if I didn’t invest in myself through this program. -Emilee
  4. To be in the right mindset for this program, you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and make the changes and listen to the tough love. Really, it’s just shining a mirror back onto yourself in your own words. -Emilee

 


Additional Resources: 

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is. 

We can help you do just that. 

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: https://thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes

Transcript

Emilee 0:04 I always just was going through the motions that were taught in school, just go get a job, work your hours to be able to go on vacations. Well, I’ve completely shifted the way I think about it. And I’ve honestly never would have gotten here if I didn’t invest in myself through this program. And I feel like I owe you so much more of my life because of that. And I’m so grateful to be able to have this time, and money and energy to be able to turn my life around completely. Like before joining this program, I wasn’t sleeping nicely to the night my husband made a joke halfway through the program, he’s like, Well, can’t we make take this as an FSA deduction because it’s like therapy. Like, I don’t think so. But that would be great. I think that every person would benefit from what I have learned.

Blake Schofield 1:00 Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder, and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is the bridge to fulfillment.

Blake Schofield 1:33 Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment. I’m super excited to have my client Emilee here today to share her personal transformation journey. One of the reasons I asked Emilee to join us today is the profound change that I’ve seen in her personally and in her life over these last few months. It’s incredibly inspiring. And I think our journey showcases a lot of maybe the hidden side of some of the work that we do. Often I say sometimes it’s challenging to help people fully understand what the bridge to fulfillment is all about. People are used to very black and white career coaching, that’s tactical cookie cutter focused on specifics. People are used to life coaching, which feels kind of ubiquitous, and I don’t really know what problem you’re solving. And people understand like therapy and counseling. But the challenge with that is, again, it’s sort of like not results driven. And often my clients talk about that this program is really a mix of the best stuff, career life coaching, mixed with a little bit of therapy. And I think Emilee’s story will help give you an even broader understanding, especially if you’ve listened to other clients stories before of the levels and breadth and depth of some of the impacts that can happen when you choose to step into your future and choose to level up and really invest in creating a more fulfilling career life for yourself. So with that said, welcome Emilee. I’m so excited to have you today.

Emilee 2:56 I’m excited to be here.

Blake Schofield 2:59 All right, lady, will you do us a favor and just share I’d love to have you share with the audience a little bit about yourself and what was going on in your life and career right before and then when we connected?

Emilee 3:11 Yeah. So I am a mom of two young kids. And I was working in the accounting field, which I’ve been in for about eight years, I really liked the puzzle aspect of it. But I wasn’t finding that my job was really fulfilling. I wanted something that was more meaningful and a lot less stressful with all the turmoil that comes with accounting. And whether you’re in public or private, there’s different busy times of the month or the year. And that was just getting stressed out and down. I was not happy in my role at all, I actually decided to walk away from my career and take some time to find what I wanted in my future and invest in myself. And I actually found you on LinkedIn, we must have a mutual connection because I kept seeing that this person was liking your posts. So they were showing up on my page, I was searching job boards on LinkedIn and kept seeing all your posts. And I was like, I feel like she’s talking to me, I feel like every single post was written with me in mind. And I was like, I don’t even know this woman. So I started following you. And just knew in my heart that this was the move for me was to join this program. And so I reached out to you. While I was in my two week notice after leaving my job to set up a call. And that call, the very first thing you said to me was I don’t feel like you’re aligned in the company that you’re working with and the job that you’re working in. And that I was like, I’m sold. Like that’s it. That was it for me. I really never felt like I was aligned in my career. And I went into accounting, being able to move around and having that flexibility of all different types of jobs. Everybody needs an accountant and the experience that you get with that on the business side. And I just I’m very thankful for about the experiences I’ve had, but it’s just time for me to move on. And you have taught me that I can do that.

Blake Schofield 4:54 So I’d like to dive a little bit into what you said because there’s a lot sitting there you had been in In accounting for about eight years, and you got to a point where you were so unfulfilled that you were willing to quit without anything else. And today, you can kind of gloss over that, because you made that choice in that decision. But I know that nobody does that without a lot of thought, emotion, pain struggle, how long were you struggling with that decision about what to do in your career, whether you should quit. And then I guess I’ll add to that it sounds like you were getting my posting this stuff for about seven months what happened and transpired during that timeframe that led you to make the decision to keep getting up keep going to work every day to you got to what I would call the breakdown moment when you’re like, can’t do it anymore.

Emilee 5:43 Yeah, it started probably, almost a year before I saw you, or started working with you that I wasn’t happy. And I wanted to leave and I kept searching for other jobs. But nothing was really sparking, interested, was going down the same rabbit hole of all these jobs are gonna be the same. Like every accounting job, no matter where I go, it’s probably going to be the same type of thing. And I just felt very stuck. So I continued to keep going back to work because it was safe. And I knew I was making good money. And I knew bonus time was coming, stuff like that kept me going. But really, my team at work kept me there. As long as I was there, they were fantastic. It was a lot like the ladies in this program, very supportive, not a family, but just somebody that you know, is comfortable in there for you. And I could share a lot with them about my life. But I just decided that it had been enough. My husband was on board, and we just were like, This is what needs to happen. I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t eating, I was gaining weight, even though I wasn’t eating like it was just, I felt crabby with my kids all the time. I didn’t have a relationship with my family or my husband. It just was really bad that my work life was pouring into my home life. And that was when I was like, I need to stop, I need to walk away. So I took the time for myself and did that.

Blake Schofield 7:03 Thank you. First of all, thank you for sharing, it just brings up a lot of emotion for me, because you know, my story. And there’s a lot that echoes in that of my last number of months in corporate America and the torture, kind of I was under by saying, I often look at that. And I realized that part of why it got so bad for me is that I didn’t know I didn’t know where I was. And I didn’t understand where I was going. And I assumed that I was safe, because I made a lot of money and all of these things and that I was being responsible, quote unquote, by saying now that you’ve been through this journey you got and you got to what I call the breakdown moment, right, which one of two things happens severe physical or emotional burnout, I cannot do this anymore, right or actually have health incident, or I get put on a performance planner layoff. Now that you know that and you came into the program when you invest in yourself. If you could go back to that year prior, when you could see I’m job searching and everything looks like the same and I’m not finding what I want. And hey, I see this post that’s really resonating with me, would you have done anything differently? And if so, what?

Emilee 8:07 I regret not taking care of myself, and not putting myself first and having more value in who I am. So I wish I would have been able to stand up for myself to senior leaders and just set boundaries, which I’ve learned how to do. And actually just taking control of my calendar, I had no control over anything I was doing. And I felt very lost. And like I didn’t have an identity. When I left, I had no idea where I was going what I wanted to do, who I even was I was totally defined by my job and being a mom. And that’s just not the case anymore. I do wish I would have done the program like 10 years ago, but I want to bend where I am now to have the significant growth that I have. Because I didn’t have those experiences that were allowing me to say, okay, that’s not what I want. I want something different.

Blake Schofield 8:55 And I often say that like we don’t work with women directly out of college because there’s a level of knowledge and experience you’ve gained through years of experience that start to help you understand I’m good at this I have this experience. I don’t like that thing. And I think that’s important. And I always find that fascinating for me I look back to my journey. And it’s hard because it was over a decade and there will always be parts of me that are like I can’t I see I didn’t see the cost then I see the cost now. Understand now what I was giving up every day that I didn’t realize because I just had become so used to that this is my life and I didn’t know what was really possible for me. Part of the reason the business called the bridge to fulfillment is right I look back to 2015 when I was really had already heavily been in the job search identified that I wanted to be a coach couldn’t figure out how to make it happen was the sole income earner for my family of five I thought it was insane and there was no way I could do it and ended up then in 2016 Taking another job moving cross country. And I think to myself wow if I had just started getting coaching in the past Then how much pain could I have avoided in that process? I don’t know that it would have changed the trajectory of moving cross country. But that last job that got me to the place that you’re talking about when I just was a shell of who I was, I would never have gotten to that place because I would have had the skills that was missing. So I asked you for that, because it just brings me back to my story. Yes. So let’s chat a little bit. You and I talked, you’re like, Yep, this is what I need. Were there any concerns or questions you had, when you started the program,

Emilee 10:32 I was a little hesitant without working, taking the money to invest in myself. But I just knew in my heart that this was the right program for me, due to the holistic nature, like you said earlier, it is therapy, it is all the things, it’s a job search, it’s figuring out how to network, it’s just learning who you are in the best way you work. And I don’t feel like I found anybody else when I was looking that was doing that. So that was my only real reservation was just taking the money to invest in myself, because as a mom, I’d never have done that before, like, even buying clothes was like, Oh, I probably shouldn’t do that, you know, I think I was hesitant of like diving into myself. Because again, I’ve never really done that we weren’t taught how to handle our emotions, and look inward, instead of like pointing the finger and blaming other people. And taking control of your own actions and emotions. I was a little hesitant about that, because I didn’t know how that was going to look. But I definitely liked outcomes.

Blake Schofield 11:37 So I think what you said is super common, especially when I have women who are laid off or not working that that’s always the biggest thing is like the level of discomfort. Now, when there feels like there’s uncertainty, what was the thing for you that made you say, Yes, I know that. I would, you know, this is not an ideal situation. I’m not working. But I felt like I should invest myself, what was the thing that got you to decide? Yeah, I’m going to do it anyway.

Emilee 12:01 I think just listening to the success stories of other women and your podcasts and just meeting with you and seeing the great results you have, knowing that most likely when I go back to work, we’ll have the return on investment. Probably pretty immediately, it won’t be too much of a hit Like you’ve taught me so many things about negotiating and showing my worth to be able to get what I deserve.

Blake Schofield 12:24 Can you share a little bit with us about your journey coming in? You know, what were some of the first ones that happened? And then what are the things when you look back on your journey you’re most proud of or you feel like are some of the big things you’ve accomplished.

Emilee 12:38 In the first week, I took a self awareness test, and it came back and it was like you’ve scored pretty low, like you’re not very self aware which, deep down, I always knew that I wasn’t very self aware. I didn’t know what I wanted, who I really was or anything like that anymore. Being a parent of a five year old, I kind of lost my identity five or six years ago at that point. And then I kind of spiraled out of control got in my own mind and thought, well, this program isn’t for me, like, I can’t do this. I other women can do it, but I can’t. But I talked to you about it. And you’re like, it’s okay, that’s fine. This is just one part of it, and you’ll get there. And a couple of weeks later, I retook that test, and I moved up my score, almost doubling it, and like very self aware, and even now it’s even higher than that. I think that was my most proud moment throughout the program, because I actually felt the progress. I could look back and be like, yeah, I really had no idea who I was or what I wanted. And now I do now I know exactly what I want, and who I am. And I can say that to somebody else. In a room of however many people which I’m a very anxious person, I don’t like to be around a lot of people. But at least in the past, and now I don’t mind that so much. Now I can talk to other people without a problem. I think the biggest when I had that first week, just the relief of being in the program, like just taking the dive and doing it. Because like I said, anxious, I didn’t know that this was really going to fit for me. But it did. Like I just felt so much lighter already the first week and being able to take control of my calendar and be like, okay, these 15 minutes, I’m going to read a book for my own self care every day, just 15 minutes before I go to bed. And just knowing how to set that time and that boundary was huge.

Blake Schofield 14:31 I think a lack of self awareness and you phrased it similarly, is when you don’t know who you are. It’s sort of like if you walk in a room and you have no point of view, you have to adopt everyone else’s point of view, because you have none. So all of a sudden everything in your life becomes relegated to the circumstances around you. You are being carried almost as if are on a river right? Because you are not in charge of creating, sharing, asking for are what you want? Does that feel true to you? How would you describe it? Because I think are people probably listening to it? Or like, Why does self awareness matter? What does that really? And how is that impacting my life?

Emilee 15:09 Yeah, I think that’s actually really like a good analogy. I felt like, I was always adapting who I was to be like the people I was around. I’m the youngest of three kids. And by a substantial amount, I was just kind of went along with everything in life. Like it just they did all these activities, and I just went along with it. And that’s kind of what I did as an adult to like, it just was along for the ride. And I didn’t really say, my piece or what I thought my family would argue with that, that I would say, my base, but I didn’t speak loudly to stand up for myself, and fight for me and what I wanted. Whereas now, I feel like I can stand up for myself and I can say, hey, I need help doing the dishes today, or I need help meal planning today. Like, I can’t do it all I need help. And just being able to say that I’m struggling today, I need to set time for myself, can you please help me it’s something I struggled with at the beginning of this program, I took on a lot more than I could handle and now being, I guess, self aware, but realizing in myself, I can’t take on all this work without feeling burnt out at the end of the day. And just reaching out and asking for help, is really probably the biggest win over all of this entire program is being able to ask for help for me.

Blake Schofield 16:34 How has that impacted your life, your relationships,

Emilee 16:38 I am much happier. And so is everybody else around me just knowing like, I’m not crabby at my husband, because he didn’t do something that I never even asked him to do. We’ve all gotten into that trap and just asking my family for help with my kids, or this weekend? Can you guys take the kids? Can you take the dog whatever, like? Can you just help me out a little bit and they’re more than happy to do so. But they don’t know that I need help if I don’t ask for it.

Blake Schofield 17:05 So you came in feeling like your career hadn’t benefit trying to figure out what it is that you can do? What did you learn to this journey about your filament framework, your secret sauce skills and truly the value that you bring.

Emilee 17:19 So I started out in accounting, and doing all of the detailed work, really digging into every last penny, because that’s what accountants do. And I realized that that’s not my true way of working. And it’s not my natural gift. My natural gift is more oversight, strategic thinking, big picture, ideas, and being able to help so many more people than just the tiny little details. The details matter, obviously. But the big picture is more where my strengths lie.

Blake Schofield 17:54 And we learned some things not just in the way you were working, right, and actually what you do best, but we also learned some things about the type of environment. You said, You mentioned earlier that I told you on our call, right? You’re in the wrong company, and you’re doing the wrong work. What did you learn about what matters to you in a company? And what how was that very different than what you were looking at? Before you came into this program?

Emilee 18:17 I was working in the banking industry in a very, very traditional format. Some would argue in the field that it’s more of a progressive company that I was working in, in the industry, but still more traditional. And I’m very much a progressive. I like some structure. But I also like the autonomy of making my own decisions and being able to change things quickly. And in more traditional companies like I’ve always been in, there’s a lot of red tape of not being able to change things, a lot of roadblocks. And this is the giant process you need to go through to make these changes. And I’d like to make them fast and show that they’re beneficial right away.

Blake Schofield 18:57 One of my favorite moments in this journey together was when we unlocked that you had some mental barriers around being able to work and make the type of impact from a community from helping people than what you had thought before. Do you remember this call when this happened? Yes. What would you share about that experience? Because to me, that was such a beautiful moment of like, oh, this is really what matters to me fundamentally is a person. And now that I know that it enables me to go make different decisions and different get different outcomes.

Emilee 19:33 Yeah, I was really struggling thinking I needed to do something still behind the scenes, not really actually helping people I thought, you know, traditional businesses like corporate America, turning a profit. And when I first came in the program, I thought, Oh, I needed to be in a nonprofit. And I networked with a few people in nonprofits, and I quickly realized that’s just not really the place for me. Again, there’s more nonprofits are set up in a traditional manner versus progressive and I definitely Need the progressive environment. But we had talked and you had unlocked that there are so many companies out there that are for profit, but still help people. Like you said your company, you still are for profit, but you help so many women to unleash who they really are in progress in their lives. That was such a game changer for me and figuring out what types of company I needed to look into. And so we talked a lot about I care about sustainability, providing access to basic necessities to people just having accessibility to the things that I always struggled getting to. And you were like, Well, why not consumer goods? Why not thinking of this company that does good, while also being sustainable, and still is for profit? It was it was just such an aha moment for me. And it’s completely shifted the way I’m looking into companies, and then jobs as well.

Blake Schofield 20:55 So share a little bit about that. What What have you learned that’s been helping you in the job search, and how’s the job search going?

Emilee 21:01 The job search is going, I learned really quickly how to look at a website and be like, Oh, this is exactly the type of company I need, or oh my gosh, no, I’m gonna walk away, probably in one to two minutes just scrolling through a website, looking at pictures, looking at the way they word things. I was like, Oh, my gosh, this is perfect. And you get all the feels like you get the goosebumps and all the shivers, and whatever. And you’re like, this is perfect, I need to reach out. So I’ve been doing that. And on that call, where I had the aha moment, another woman connected me with somebody that works that used to work with her that now works at one of the companies, that is like, a huge thing for me, and we are having a meeting, it’s really, really exciting to be able to talk to somebody at a company that’s like, so awesome, in my mind that I can’t wait to just learn more.

Blake Schofield 21:51 What I often talk about is the way we approach the job search is the polar opposite of what everybody else does. And that’s why it works. Right? And you are in charge of that you are driving it. It’s not this I’m waiting and passive. I’m hoping that the right company finds me. It’s I’m actually finding the companies that are a match for me and the right environment for me and the things that I’m passionate about and the way I want to work and seeking those out. And so I love hearing the progress that you’re having and the energy and passion you have about it. Because then you get on the phone with those people. Right. And that passion comes through. And you know, it just continues to kind of snowballs from there. Let me ask you, Emily, I know our time is coming close to a close. It always does go fast. Is there anything that you want to share about your journey, what you’ve learned, or you know what’s really on your heart that you you want to share with other women to help them find more success and fulfillment in their life?

Emilee 22:46 Yeah, I never felt that this feeling was possible. For me. I never felt like I could get to this level. And feel this confident and successful. Even without having a job. Just being able to be myself. I always just was going through the motions that were taught in school, just go get a job, work your hours to be able to go on vacations, well, I’ve completely shifted the way I think about it. And I’ve honestly never would have gotten here if I didn’t invest in myself through this program. And I feel like I owe you so much more of my life because of that. And I’m so grateful to be able to have this time, and money and energy to be able to turn my life around completely. Like before joining this program. I wasn’t sleeping nicely to the night, my husband made a joke halfway through the program. He’s like, Well, can’t we make take this as an FSA deduction? Because it’s like therapy? Like? I don’t think so. But that would be great. I don’t think people wouldn’t benefit from doing the program. I think you have to be in the right mindset to start. But I think that every person would benefit from what I have learned.

Blake Schofield 23:55 Awesome, thank you. Let me ask because I’m sure somebody will see why. What’s the right mindset? Because the big question I think women always have is, is this right for me? Am I ready for it? Will I be successful? So what do you think is the right mindset to come in and be successful?

Emilee 24:09 So I think to be in the right mindset for this program, you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and willing to make the changes and listen to the tough love. But really, it’s just shining back a mirror into yourself in your own words. You have to be open and willing to make the changes in yourself. You have to just jump in and trust the process.

Blake Schofield 24:33 Awesome. Thank you so much, Emily, it’s been such a pleasure having you today. And for those of you guys listening, thank you so much for joining us. I hope Emily’s story has helped open up your perspective, given you some things to think about and encouraged you to see that significant life changes are possible for you too often we look and we say I’m unfulfilled I need to just change my job but then we don’t actually fix the root cause things that are causing us to be unfulfilled. And I often find that it’s about both laugh and say that emotions plus tactics, it’s really addressing the root cause what is misaligned, what is standing in my way and getting that out of the way, and then being able to really have the tools to be empowered to create that change and that future that you want for your life. So, until next time, have a great one.

Blake Schofield 25:26 Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener, identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at www.TheBridgetoFulfillment.com/plan  Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at www.TheBridgetoFulfillment.com/plan Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead.