Give Yourself Grace

Ep: 242

We spend a lot of our emotional energy trying to avoid pain and suffering. 

But to experience the joy we want to feel, we have to understand that pain is an inevitable part of the human experience.

The key to surviving that pain is simple…

Find ways to give yourself more grace.

Today on The Bridge to FulfillmentⓇ, Blake explains why the human experience requires moments of pain and suffering in order to grow and find joy in life. We’re on a journey of self-acceptance and our pain is what ultimately helps us achieve self-love.

In this episode, you’ll learn why we experience pain and suffering, and how to see those experiences in a new light. You’ll understand how grace helps you accept and work through tough moments in life, and how those experiences accelerate growth. You’ll discover what it truly means to offer grace to yourself and others, and how choosing grace allows more happiness, peace, and ease into your life.

What You’ll Learn:

  • Defining what it means to offer grace (1:04)
  • The primary root of our suffering (1:27)
  • Recognizing the value of pain (2:31)
  • Finding ways to give yourself more grace (3:19)
  • How to know what’s true and what’s not (5:10)

Favorite Quotes:

  1. When I look at the causes of most of the suffering or challenges we have in our lives, it’s truly because we lack grace for ourselves.
  2. We do everything possible to avoid feeling pain as if it is the worst thing to happen to us. And we don’t understand that pain produces endurance.
  3. We should feel every single human emotion and just allow it to pass through us understand what it’s saying, be able to own that and then let it go. And when we do that we give ourselves grace and we give others grace.
  4. The only way to know what’s truth versus what’s not is to speak it. To ask the questions, to be willing to share with others, and to allow them to meet us where we are. And when we do that, we begin to bring the darkness to light. We begin to see the beauty of all of our parts and of everyone else. And we begin to realize that we are far more resilient, far more safe, far more capable, far more loved than we even knew.

Additional Resources: 

For programs and opportunities to work with Blake, go to www.BlakeSchofield.com

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:05
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment®. Mom to three, USA Today Top 10 Professional Coach and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand perspectives to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment®.

Blake Schofield 0:39
I’ve been thinking a lot about what I see day to day, and the message to share with you today. Today, my message is really about grace. Grace for yourself and grace for others. You know, it’s a word I’ve heard a lot lately. And I think we often don’t think about what it means to go through life with grace. If you look at the definition of the word grace, you get quite a few things. Simple elegance, or refinement of movement, courteous goodwill to do honor or credit to someone. But perhaps my favorite is this one, God’s unmerited favor, love, or help.

Blake Schofield 1:27
You know, when I look at the causes of most of the suffering or challenges we have in our lives, it’s truly because we lack grace for ourselves. We assume that we’re not doing good enough that things should be different than they are. That however we’re feeling is not okay, that we should be capable of doing better. We lack trust in the flow of life, that everything is perfect as it is. And we misinterpret the experiences that we’re having in life to believe that when difficult times come that we’ve done something wrong, or we should have done something differently. And we sit in those emotions, and we allow them to cut off our ability to give grace to ourselves and ultimately to others.

Blake Schofield 2:20
You know, yesterday, there was a whole discussion on that we can’t have joy, without pain. And yet, as a society, I think we really struggle with the idea of pain, we do everything possible to avoid feeling it, as if pain is the worst thing to happen to us. And we don’t understand that pain produces endurance. And endurance over time gives us strength, which allows us to really see more clearly, and have more joy in life. And so when we avoid pain, or we sit in pain and produce suffering, we miss out on the joy of everyday life, and the beauty of the things around us and in the beauty of who we are and what we bring to the world.

Blake Schofield 3:15
And so today, I want to challenge you to think about this. Where do you need to give yourself grace? Where are you beating yourself up for things that you’re human? Where are you not sharing things that you’re feeling? Burdens that you’re carrying? Where are you allowing yourself to cut off the very joy and grace that you deserve? Because often we’re looking externally for the solutions to our problems. Why doesn’t my boss see that they’re overworking me? Why doesn’t my husband or wife see me or give me the love or attention that I need. But we aren’t giving that to ourselves. And when I see all of the time is that it is our lack of loving all of the parts of who we are. Our denial of seeing the things that scare us, or our denial of the feelings that don’t feel like what society tells us we should feel. Right? We should be happy all of the time, we should be successful, we should be grateful.

Blake Schofield 4:27
But the reality is we should feel every single human emotion and just allow it to pass through us, understand what it’s saying, be able to own that, and then let it go. And when we do that we give ourselves grace and we give others grace. When we do that we experience more joy, when we do that we experience more connection to ourselves, to God, and to others. Because we begin to realize that we are just all part of the human experience. That we are a kaleidoscope of feelings and emotions. That not everything we think or feel is true. But the only way sometimes to know what’s truth versus what’s not is to speak it, to ask the questions, to be willing to share with others, and to allow them to meet us where we are.

Blake Schofield 5:24
And when we do that, we begin to bring the darkness to light, we begin to see the beauty of all of the parts of us and of everyone else, and we begin to realize that we are far more resilient, far more safe, far more capable, far more loved than we even knew. And in that, we can begin to own more of who we truly are, we can begin to speak our truth, we can begin to align our lives in ways that feel truly in integrity with who we are. And we can experience more joy, more love, more happiness, more peace, more ease and flow, and more fulfillment in our lives. Because when we cut off some of our emotions, we cut off all.

Blake Schofield 6:21
And so if as you are moving into the end of this year, you’re really thinking, how can I make 2024 the best year ever? Start with giving yourself grace. Start with seeing the kaleidoscope of all of who you are and recognizing that it’s all acceptable, that every emotion is just part of the human journey. And be willing to step into and allow yourself the ability to be seen by those you really care about. And in doing so you bring that darkness to light. You surrender to the kaleidoscope of life. And you begin to experience more connection, more love, more joy and a greater sense of peace in your life. Until next time, have a great week.