The Hidden Barriers in Your Way

Ep: 189

What’s really standing in the way of what you want in life? 

Life presents us with unique barriers that can prevent us from reaching our goals. But what’s really holding you back might actually be different than what you think it is.

It’s not always easy to recognize our own blind spots.

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment, Blake explains why understanding the barriers in your life often requires a team effort. Another pair of eyes and ears offer a fresh perspective that’s not limited by the barriers of your beliefs and experiences.

In this episode, you’ll learn how career coaching helps you to identify the real barriers that are standing in your way. You’ll understand the telltale signs of a life of misalignment and why continuing to live in that disjointed space holds you back from achieving what you want in life.

When you’re open to collaborating instead of trying to solve everything on your own, life can be easier and you can accomplish things with more joy, ease, and alignment.

What You’ll Learn:

  • How to work through your blind spots so you can actually level up (1:17)
  • What misalignment looks and feels like (3:22)
  • The consequences of allowing fear to stay in the driver’s seat (5:50)
  • What it looks like to be in alignment (6:08)
  • “Cleaning the windshield” of your limiting beliefs (8:07)

Favorite Quotes:

  1. We all have hidden barriers. We have blind spots because we cannot see the label from inside the bottle.
  2. You don’t have to carry those burdens and those old wounds. Life can be easier and you can accomplish things with more joy, ease, and alignment when you’re open to collaborating instead of trying to solve it on your own.
  3. When we’re leading lives that are misaligned, it’s very easy to see all the things we wish we didn’t have. But you’re not really clear or focused on the things you do.
  4. At the end of the day, everything comes down to managing energy. Where are you putting your energy?

 


Additional Resources: 

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is. 
We can help you do just that. 

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.
Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: https://thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:05 Hi, I’m Blake Schofield founder and CEO of the Bridge to Fulfillment, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is the bridge to fulfillment. Today, we’re gonna talk about the hidden barriers that are standing in the way of you achieving what you want in your life and really feeling like you’re aligned with your purpose and life that allows you to feel like you’re making a difference. You know, I very interestingly, I’ve had a lot of conversations with my clients this week on this topic, and actually just got back from an amazing event that I hosted alongside my friend, Renee, just this last weekend in sunny Phoenix, Arizona. And one of the big things we talked about is really understanding misalignment in our life, because it’s so clear when you know what to look for. And I’ll dive into that in just a short minute. But one of the things that I think is really important to understand is that we all have hidden barriers, we have blind spots, because we cannot see the label from inside the bottle. And so often I see people banging their head up against a wall, not really realizing that they have these internal blocks or blind spots that are actually what’s keeping them stuck. And so I had two clients today who I saw appreciate it because they came and they said, You know, I feel good about the progress we’re making. But how can you help? How should I be looking at peeling back the layers, so that I can actually see more clearly how to identify and start to work through my blind spots, so I can level up and get to where I want to go. And here’s what I want you to know, it first starts with awareness, we have to be aware that we have an opportunity, and then we have to decide we’re no longer willing to tolerate it. But then finally, we have to be receptive. And we have to have desire to create that change. Every one of those steps must be there in order to truly be able to move on. So often I hear people say, Well, I know that I have blocks or I know I have barriers, or I know I have X,Y,Z problem because of my childhood. Or I know that but that’s just the way that I am. And these are the things we do that keep ourselves trapped. Because until we’re willing to recognize that it’s not just the way you are, that you don’t have to carry those burdens and those old wounds, that you can learn different things that life can be easier, that you can accomplish things with more joy, more ease, more alignment, until we recognize that and we’re open to seeing the world differently. We’re open to collaborating instead of trying to solve it on our own. We’ll always bump against those barriers. And I can see so clearly now how despite the fact that I was very successful, what I was doing, I was creating a lot of friction and a lot of misalignment in my life where I would have been much more successful. And I would have enjoyed the journey so much more if I’d understood these things. So I’m going to share with you what misalignment looks and feels like because like I said, the first step is awareness. Right. So here’s some visible signs that you have misalignment. Because as I said, misalignment in our lives is so clear when you know what to look for. First and foremost stress and frustration, pushing through things that you don’t like getting stuck in procrastination or distraction, finding yourself doing other things instead of the thing you need to do. Finding yourself in the hustle and grind and efficiency in your work. You’re doing the work but it just taking forever. You’re seeking things to quote unquote numb out whether that is scrolling Facebook at night, or Instagram, watching movies or TV, drinking, smoking, overeating, overworking, these are all things we do to numb out and not address the misalignment in our lives. And another visible sign repeated unwanted patterns, things that keep showing up in your life. I was having a conversation with a woman today about this, talking about how she had an assignment at work. And basically a bunch of stuff kind of fell apart and everyone else just kind of left and she basically killed herself to bring this project to fruition and she talked about how she’d seen that pattern over and over again, in her family relationships and her job. Right. These are signs and symptoms of these hidden blocks and hidden barriers and misalignment that’s actually stopping you from getting where you want to go. Now what are the mental and emotional signs of misalignment? Well Honestly, it’s hiding the truth, either from ourselves or others by saying things like, well maybe don’t get better, or it’s not that bad, or I should be grateful.

Blake Schofield 5:04 It’s listening to other people on what you quote unquote, should do. Instead of listening to your inner voice, it’s second guessing what it is you think you should do and getting caught in sort of that mental doom loop. It’s looking at things from a black or white thinking, I only have this option or that option. And you can see none of the 1000s of other options that are potentials. It’s sucking it up, or bargaining, living a life where you are compromising consistently and believing that you just have to do that, that that’s the way it has to be. It’s focusing on what you don’t want, which can become very easy. When we’re leading lives that are misaligned, it’s very easy to see all the things we wish we didn’t have. But you’re not really clear or focused on the things you do. And it’s really allowing fear to be in the driver’s seat of your life. That is the thing that is stopping you from really creating what you want. On the flip side, what does it look like to be in alignment? Well, alignment is peace, flow, ease, and empowerment. From a visible standpoint, the signs are ease and peace of mind, time passing without any awareness. Have you ever done that where you started on something, and five hours later, you look up and you can’t believe how much time had passed. It’s flow and balance, you don’t have to think you’re just in due mode without really processing, you’re able to focus on the ones to things that matter. You’re efficient, you’re emotionally connected to yourself and to others. And your habits and patterns are creating what you want for your life, the mental and emotional sides of alignment. You’re honest and vulnerable, you’re non judgmental, about what your needs and desires are. You have a deep level of self trust, you make decisions with a clear mind. You have flexibility and adaptability in the outcome of what it is that you’re doing. You’re focused on growth and expansion. And you’re consistently seeking more of what you want. And finally, you’re focused on possibility and opportunity. At the end of the day, everything comes down to managing energy. Where are you putting your energy? Are you aware that you have blocks and things standing in your way? Do you see based on what I’ve shared with you signs and symptoms of misalignment in your life? Awareness is the first step, the second step is deciding you’re no longer willing to tolerate it. And then the third step is being receptive and desiring change. And so I’m sharing this with you today. Because what I know to be true is the answers for what you need in your life are already there, they’re already inside you. The challenge is we are our own worst enemy in our own barrier. And truly transformation change. Amazing things happen in our lives.

Blake Schofield 8:07 When we decide that we’re no longer willing to tolerate the things we don’t want in our lives, when we decide that we’re worthy of investing in ourselves, and gaining support in order to see the blind spots, uncover the misalignment and do what I describe as clean the windshield. Because ultimately, what I see is it’s as if we’ve been driving a car across country for 20 years. And we never ever got a carwash. Right, and we can’t see clearly. And so we need to clean the windshield, start to really remove these limiting beliefs, these old patterns is trauma, the stuff that’s in the way that’s keeping us from really being who we are. And then we remove the friction. We move from if you ever imagined my kids, when they were little used to love to go to Dave and Busters where they have those cars that you can race. And I’ll never forget when my kids were really little and trying to drive the car, they’ll race car, and they would be swerving left and swerving, right and swiping left and swiping right driving the car. Hopefully you can see this I can see this beautiful visual in my head of trying to learn how to steer a car when you’re a little bitty kid. And you know, if you look at those tracks that they build on all of those video games, and they put these huge sharp turns, right, so you kick off the road and you like run into the barrier. And then you have to restart the car. Most people are living their lives like that. Huge swings left and right and then running into things. And that’s what happens when your life is misaligned. When you don’t really understand who you are, what your skills are the best way to use them and align your life behind your passion and behind what you’re really talented and gifted at and the difference between that experience left to right running into the barriers versus Alignment. Alignment is very small polls to the left and the right. But it feels much more like you’re driving on a straight road. And so if your life feels more like As the little kid driving the supermario roller coaster left and right, and you can see all this misalignment in your life, as I’ve mentioned today, today is your challenge. Now you are aware, are you going to continue to tolerate it? Or are you going to recognize that there’s more possibility for your life and actually take the initiative to be open and receptive to change and different perspectives, and to desire, that change for yourself. As always, it’s such a pleasure to spend time with you. And until next time, have a great week.

Blake Schofield 10:40 Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener, identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead.