Melissa 0:03 I mean, the things that I have taken away for myself, and it’s not just my corporate self, it’s how I handle myself outside. I mean I hear people saying, ‘You seem so much happier, you seem lighter.’ I think lighter is a great word, you know. I mean, I literally everybody I know I’m like, I want them to take this program. I want everybody to know to take this program because I took so much more out of it than landing a job.
Blake Schofield 0:34 My name is Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of Connections Illuminated, mom to three and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to change women’s perspectives about what is possible, empowering them with the tools to create greater impact at home and at work without sacrificing their health time, family or income. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment. Today we are talking with Melissa, one of my clients who has had an amazing journey from I think really years of debating about making a change, feeling a lot of stress and anxiety in your career, really not knowing the right next step to take and how you overcame that fear to truly create, I think a future that even your I wouldn’t have been able to predict in such a quick period of time. So welcome. I’m so happy to have you. Thank you for being here and sharing your story.
Melissa 1:35 Thanks, Blake, I’m really excited to be here today.
Blake Schofield 1:39 Awesome. So Melissa, can you share a little bit with those that are listening a little bit about your background and what was going on when we connected.
Melissa 1:48 So I was working a corporate job. And I was there for about five years. And I was going on my ninth boss, which is a lot. The entire management system had changed, the company had evolved and changed where it was going. And to be really honest, you know, we were doing a lot of work, we didn’t have a very big team, people were leaving, things weren’t put into place. The whole part of the company that I resonated with, when I took the job just wasn’t what it was. At that point in time, I wasn’t sleeping well. I wasn’t taking care of my health, everything that I did was my job. And of course, we had hit COVID time. So I was at home. So I really wasn’t even disconnecting at that point. It was like, you know, these really long days, just really kind of mundane days of doing the same thing and trying to get ahead and, and feeling buried and feeling suffocated. And just really feeling like my whole life revolved around my job.
Blake Schofield 2:46 And so what led you to finally seek out help?
Melissa 2:49 I think we put in this new boss. And you know, I kind of got to a point where I was like, You know what, I kept waiting for it to get better. I kept waiting for the change to happen. I kept waiting for the company to say, hey, and recognize all the things that I had done and really look at it. And it was at a point where I was like, I just can’t do this anymore. Like I was at a point where I was gonna leave even what I do and what I specialize in, because I wasn’t feeling good about it. It was disrupting my regular life. Like, I feel like I didn’t have a life at all. I was not taking care of myself, I wasn’t having time for my family. I was not having time for my boyfriend. And I needed to do something. And I knew, yeah, I could get another job. But I started to think about the fact like, yeah, I can get another job. But is it going to be the same thing? And that’s what I was finding is, you know, I kept finding sort of similar experiences where I would be excited about something and then all of a sudden, it would be like, oh, yeah, here I am again. And so I really wanted to figure out what I could do. I was looking at myself, and I’m like, I’m too old to come back to school. I mean, maybe not. But like, I really didn’t feel like that was where I was at in my life time, you know. And so I didn’t want to go back to school, I really did kind of like what I was doing. But I also wanted to explore if I was doing other things. And I think that’s where I finally went, you know what, like, I don’t even care if I have to go work at Starbucks what you know, and deliver coffee to people, which is not a bad job. It just wasn’t what I was trained to do. And so I think for me, it was, I don’t care what I have to do, I just don’t want to be here anymore.
Blake Schofield 4:21 And so what led you to reach out to me and think about joining The Bridge to Fulfillment?
Melissa 4:27 I’d actually worked with you in my past. And what I think is really funny about it is we’ve talked about the program a little bit and I you know, I would I have a support system of people that I always call and I’m like, hey, what do you think about this and call many, many people and people are like, Oh, career coaching, or Oh, life coaching or whatever you want to, you know, put it under but there was this sense of like, well, you know, they’ll help you write your resume and they’ll do this or that and I was like, Oh, I don’t know what I think and then you would call me it’s not that it’s all these other things and you know, you’re stuck, let me help you get unstuck. And you know, it kept going through my head, but I can get a job on my own. I’m fine. But yet, I had told myself I wasn’t there, right? Like, that’s not what I wanted to do. So I think for me, you know this last time, it was really kind of going, Okay, you trust this person, you see all these other people that are having success? Why not try something different? And so I kind of reached out again, to kind of say, hey, like, let’s talk about this. But I don’t think the road was quite that easy. It wasn’t like, Yeah, I’m in wasn’t that at all. I mean, I am a nervous person about money. I didn’t have a lot of money when we grew up. And so I’m very protective of my income. I also don’t have a partner, anybody else who’s contributing to that work. And so when that money goes away, there isn’t anything. And I think for me to look at this, it was like, Oh, I’m gonna invest money. And then I’m gonna invest time and oh, gosh, the holidays are coming up. That was a big thing for me, like, how am I going to stay in this program? And I really didn’t understand kind of what it was 100%. And I think for me, it was a little bit of resistance to asking for help. If I’m being honest, like, I think so many times in my life, I can do this, I can figure it out. But I was at a breaking point where I just needed help.
Blake Schofield 6:14 And definitely, I think our relationship propelled me to probably pursue and have more conversations with you about your fear what was going on, because I knew that this program was the right thing for you without a shadow of a doubt. But there were a lot of fears and things that came up for you. I think you went through a good cycle of a week, week and a half of like, a lot of doubting yourself on should I do this? Should I not do this? You also had issues about right, other things you wanted to do? Or where you thought you would spend your money? Can you share a little bit about what that experience was like? Because I think a lot of us go through that, especially those of us who aren’t used to investing in ourselves. So we haven’t understood the impact of the snakes. I certainly know I went through it when I first started investing myself.
Melissa 6:59 Yeah, it’s funny. So I’ve always been a little bit like that. When I bought my car I looked at I don’t know how many cars I sat. And after I bought it, I went back and made sure Did I did I get the right deal? Did I do the right thing, like always kind of doubting that second guessing that. And that sort of stress is kind of what I went through that week of the program. It’s like, well, I should do it. No, I shouldn’t I speaking of cars, my car is is dying, you know, and it’s like, Oh, I knew I needed to buy a new car coming up. I live in California, I live in a very expensive area to live in. And I’m like, you know, if I don’t have a, b, and c money set aside, what happens if I can’t pay my mortgage? Or what happens if this? You know, I wanted to live comfortably and not worry about bills I had been in that cycle earlier in my career where I go to the mailbox, which bill do I pay? And I finally got myself to a point where I’m like, gosh, I don’t want to change that. Right. And I think that’s kind of where I looked at this. And I think there was something along the way where, you know, it was about investing in yourself. And like, oh, I you know, I take care of myself, but I haven’t I haven’t invested in myself, I think about like going back. And a lot of people do this sort of investment every year where they go and they take classes and they do different things. And I was like, gosh, I have not done that. And it was finally me saying, okay, there have got to be other options. And I think you and I talked about that. And it was like, okay, there was a financing option. And I was like, okay, hey, like, all of a sudden, I just felt a weight lifted, because I was like, alright, you know, even if I might have the money sitting here to do this, or whatever, because that’s what I was stuck on. Right? It was like, okay, but there is this way to do it. And I think when I got to that point, and I thought, You know what, it doesn’t matter. Like I just need to invest in myself and believe in something. And I will be honest, like, I can’t imagine not investing in myself moving forward. You know what, yeah, I managed to get myself an amazing job and do all of these great things. But like, I know that I will continue to look for different ways to invest in myself. And that’s something I would have never said before.
Blake Schofield 9:09 Yeah, huge swing. And I can’t wait to kind of dig into some of that as we get in. A lot of times what I hear from women is well, but I was planning to renovate my house or I need to buy a car, I have these bills I need to pay off. And so we get so stuck into thinking about where we are today, as if today is solid. Usually women that are coming to me are not in a safe place. If you’re in a job where you are miserable every day and you’re not taking care of yourself or it’s not a safe environment, you’re at increasing risk, the longer you stay in, but you don’t think about that because you have a recency bias that tells you I can just keep sucking it up, right. And so I think a very common belief is to believe well, I will pay this off I will get in a better position and then I will do it. But that rarely happens. But what we rarely actually see is how can investing in myself now actually yield me more money and yield a better position and move me up. And you probably never even thought that when we started this journey, it’s like, wow, weeks later, I’m in a position where now financially, I have this much greater trajectory. So I can buy the car I want to buy, instead of buying maybe a car I didn’t want to buy. And I can do these other things. Because I was able to make the decision from a place of opportunity, instead of a place of fear instead of right, how do I reduce the things and protect everything I have instead? How do I actually look at bringing more abundance and making more, I see that all of the time, and I have been there. And I have done that. And I’ve made that mistake. And I think often get mentally stuck. When we have to make decisions like this that feel scary, it’s easier to stay status quo than it is to actually challenge yourself to do something different.
Melissa 10:47 One thing to add to that like is that I’ve realized, I get stuck a lot, not just in my career, right, like making choices to do things. And I realized all the time that I spend, you know, in turmoil trying to figure this out trying to find the absolute perfect solution. And then I realized that there isn’t a perfect solution. And you know what, all that time that I did that I could have been like joyful and living and doing things. And I think like, that’s one of the biggest things that I took away from this program is realizing that like, hey, you know what, I can make these decisions and I can move forward. And this is the first time in my life that I don’t think I went to all these different people and tried to figure out like, what’s going on, because you know what, I was focused, I was in this place with this program where I knew I was doing the right things. And for me, that’s a huge thing. Because like I said, even a car, you know, little things. I’m like, why am I worried about making these decisions. And I just had no worry this time, I really didn’t. Everything felt right every step of the way.
Blake Schofield 11:48 I love that so much. It’s one of the things we talked about is the intangibles. The intangibles that you get from this program that seem like they’re just who you are, that’s just who I am. I’m somebody who has to bet through every decision. That used to be me too. And when you can understand why you do that you have different frameworks and different tools to make different decisions. While the peace of mind of being able to make decisions quickly. And trust yourself is a huge life changing, life changing. I mean, the decisions I make today I can make, I make probably 100 more decisions today than I used to on like maybe even a monthly basis. Because I don’t have to stop. I’m not in that cycle exactly like what you’re saying. So let’s kind of talk a little bit about your journey. I think that’s always of interest for women to understand what this might look and feel like for them as they look to transition their life and do something different. You are a couple that came hours, maybe two or three weeks into the program. And you had a real shift about and a real understanding about what the bridge to fulfillment was all about. Can you share a little bit about what that was like for you? What was that ‘aha,’ and how is it different than what you expected it to be?
Melissa 12:59 You know, even though I knew you, even though you talk me through everything, even though you know, I had all the information, I thought I was going to come in and somebody was going to tell me how to do these things to get the right job, you know, and to sort of like create space. But I think what happened is I went in and I realized that like I didn’t really know myself, and I was really learning a lot about me. And at first, the first couple of steps. I was like, ‘Oh, this is interesting. Why am I doing this?’ Right? What I loved about it was that I’m looking at it. And I’m like, okay, I can self paced this. And so when I went in and I really started digging into who I was, it wasn’t like you have to know the right answer. I think having the support that you have in the group with, you know, all of the tools that come with it, all of the self exploration making that time and I think that was a big thing for me is making time for me and realizing that, hey, this program was teaching me about me and what drives me. And I think that was the big key is like, I was never looking at a job for what I wanted, right? I was looking at it like, oh, that has a great title. Oh, that sounds really lovely. Oh, they have their new and everybody wants to work there. And so now I’m at a point in my career where it’s really like, I want to be happy, I want to impact I want to be fulfilled, I want to make a difference. And I think some of those things, realizing what really makes me happy, you know, and where I can put up boundaries. And what’s important to me, I think were the biggest shifts for me is really, okay, I need to know what is important to me, and how do I balance my life out? And that I mean, I knew it, but I didn’t understand it. And now I’m like, okay, yeah, if I’m not balanced on the other side, I’m not going to show up the way I need to show up. And I think really just seeing other people also in this program and seeing their shifts and seeing them work through some of the things it’s like, I’m not the only person I don’t have to feel bad about this. Like, I was feeling kind of like you’re a professional person, you have all this experience. Why can’t you figure this out? And I think realizing that like everybody was thinking Hearing it out. And a lot of people don’t spend that time, I think, for me was the biggest shift. It was like, wow, you’re worth it, you can do this. And you know what I’ll bet on myself. And I think I had been beaten down a little bit in terms of like going into these jobs and being like, why am I not? Like, why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always feel this way? Why am I not balanced between work in my life? And I think now it’s like, no, you know what I am worth it. I’m like, wow, I could do all these different things. I love that.
Blake Schofield 15:31 I love it so much. It’s been such a pleasure to watch, you just really take on absorb and just get so much from the program. And you’re still in it, which is fun. Often I hear women say like, well, what if I could just get the job on my own? Or what happens if I get a job earlier? And so I think your story is a really interesting one, because you thought, what if I could just get the job on my own? And you also got the job pretty early on in the journey? Can you share what you know? Like, do you think knowing who you were and where you were, before you join this program, that you would be in this job in this situation would have gotten the results and outcome on your own? And if not, why? What did you not?
Melissa 16:13 No, absolutely not. You know, it’s funny, because probably could have landed a job like it, maybe that one, maybe not, but I think, you know, when I went into it, I went into it, asking the right questions, to make sure that I was being true to myself, and I thought I had the right questions. And then I would hear, you know, we’d go through the work, and I’d hear it rephrased, and I’m like, Oh, yeah. And you know, don’t do this and do that. And that makes sense to get the knowledge and the information that you need was so important. So like, that was a huge step for me is to be able to get what I needed. And that’s what kind of made me feel so grounded in this and made me not question it was like, normally, I’m like, Well, you know, even if I’m excited about something, there’s that little voice, it’s like, I don’t know, and I am solid on this. I’m like, Yep, this is the right thing, I think to the the negotiation power, honestly, you know, I feel like I’m fairly decent at negotiation until I took the program. And I’m like, wow, and the way that I approached it, like, the company was super impressed. You know, I was really grateful, there is no way I would have walked away with the salary, with the benefits with all of the things that I walked away with, without this program.
Blake Schofield 17:21 And so you, let’s talk about what your results are. I’m sure everyone listening is like, what happened to her? And where did she goes in, you share a little bit about what those results have looked like for you in terms of moving into the role and how this process helped you move into the right role, elevate your career and the types of results you got?
Melissa 17:39 Yeah, so it took about seven weeks, which is really crazy, you know, and I landed this job where my commute is better. Way better. I mean, it’s amazing, you know, I’ve moved into a higher title, I’ve moved into a place where I can make impact into a company that I feel like really has the right values, the right culture, even right down to my manager, I know what that her style is going to be like. And so I’m super excited about all of that. I think, you know, for me, it was really looking at what were my non negotiables. And what were the things that were super important. And to do it this fast. And, you know, that part’s super exciting, and I’m super proud. And I’m I’ve just I’m really excited. It’s like, wow, I got something to look forward to this was an early Christmas present. But then I’m going into a little bit of fear, because I’m like, Ah, but then I’m done. Am I done with the program? Like, how am I going to continue because I love the support. And it’s not that I don’t think I can do it without it. But like, it’s almost intoxicating. It’s something that is like, you know, I just keep wanting to come back and get that support and get that feedback and run it. I mean, that’s how corporate America should be. That’s how women should be supporting women. And I never truly understood women supporting women until I honestly was really in this program. Like, obviously, I always wanted to say, hey, you know, I support my friends and people that I know, but like, this was people that I didn’t know. And we were working together. And like if there was something I knew, like, in the middle of the process, and they got really nervous about negotiation, and about this and about that, and what about start date? What about, you know, all those things, I was able to really work through one without asking every person I knew, right without sitting here worrying about I didn’t lose sleep over it. I didn’t like it was amazing. And so I think the fact that I know that I can still use the materials forever, right? And that I’m still I still have time. And now my time seems even more interesting because now I can really dig in. I feel that little bit of comfort. And so I’m like, Okay, I’m super excited because I’m going towards this new, this new opportunities, new career, this new place to make impact and to really have people value me and I feel super valued, and I haven’t felt that in a really long time. But then I also get to still explore myself and see what else I can learn and that is my favorite part.
Blake Schofield 20:00 I love that thank you for sharing it. I’ve been told many times from clients that the program is so much more than they thought it was going to be when they came in. And so it’s a struggle for me, because I’m like, How do I convey all of the things that you do and get, especially because it’s a proven process, but it’s tailored to each woman. So there are things right, every single woman gets out of this. That’s exactly what she needs that she likely doesn’t know she needs when she comes in. And the environment being the way that it is the to be able to hear you say, right, it’s the first time you’ve really understood women supporting women I’ve had so many clients say it’s been absolutely cathartic. I’ve had clients become really good friends with one another. I’ve watched women in this program support each other in ways that I wished I had when I was in corporate. And it’s a huge part of my heart to be able to change the corporate culture, right? Woman by woman, right. Because when you understand the things that you now understand, it will change the way that you lead your team, it will change the way you lead your leader, it will change how you show up. And through that understanding you will make the environment that you work in better I look at it as a ripple effect really right at their the stone in and then it’s the ripple that happens in the pond after. And so I really appreciate you sharing that because I think it’s a piece that women come in because they’re unhappy, and they want the next job. And yes, absolutely, that’s what we do. But there’s so much more to it than that.
Yeah. And I think honestly, even if I hadn’t landed this role, right now, if I’d made a lateral move, even if I’d step back a little bit, I’m gonna be honest with you. And I never, in the beginning thought this way. But even if I had done that, I mean, the things that I have taken away for myself, and it’s not just my corporate self, it’s how I handle myself outside there. I mean, I hear people saying, You seem so much happier, you seem lighter. I think lighter is a great word, you know, and, I mean, I literally everybody I know, I’m like, I want them to take this program. I want everybody I know to take this program, because I took so much more out of it than landing a job. Honestly, like that was, that was a great bonus to it. Right? It even though it was a goal in the beginning, but like, I look at this, and you know, it makes me go, Gosh, I wish I could, you know, do this forever. Because it just like I would get off calls, I would do the program work. And I would get up and I’m like, Cool, I’m feeling good. And I just feel like that’s what people need to understand. And people need to sort of get out of things. And so like, for me, I really do. I told so many people, like you have to go take this program, you know, and I know that they have fears too. But I’m like, wow, if anybody had fears that was me, right? So
Blake Schofield 22:40 Thank you for sharing. Is there anything that I have not asked you that I should have, or anything that’s just really on your heart that you want to share?
Melissa 22:51 Your team is so supportive, the people that come in the program are so supportive, and I think the support, the lack of judgment, the ability to come in and write the wrong thing, as you’re exploring and make those mistakes in this safe environment. To me, it’s just been awesome. You know, you don’t get that always. And it’s teaching me how to teach, like you said, my team and teaching other people and really encouraging, you know, to do those things. And I think for me, like, again, I can’t express enough how much I’ve taken out of this on a personal level, and how to grow. And I think the only thing that I request a few is do more, get more women because I just I feel like, this is so important for people and you don’t realize it. I had no idea what this would do and haven’t even thought about the money. I’ve invested in it. It’s like okay, yeah, okay, great. You know what, and now I mean, I’m paid back and then some right, you know, just from landing this position. And so I love that what I took away from it was more than just finding a job.
Blake Schofield 23:59 Thank you for sharing that. That is my heart and a huge piece of where, again, nothing against traditional career coaches. There’s a place and a time for everything. But I personally went through the vast majority of my career changing companies changing jobs, hoping it would make it better. And it would make it better for a short while and then I would be back in the cycle again. And I just think there’s a lot of solutions out there that are band-aids when we’re unhappy in our career. It’s like, Well, okay, we need this next new job, this thing will make us happy. The problem is nobody’s really getting to the root cause of what is it really that’s misaligned in your life? What is it really that you need to move you forward? And so I don’t think yet I’ve had a client go well, all I got out of this was getting a job and that’s intentional, right? It’s really intentional, because this is about lifelong skills. This is about improving every part of your life. And the new job is the I guess culmination of the work. It’s the culmination of really understanding your values, your skills, what makes you uniquely gifted and then being able to communicate that and put it out to the world and then have it reciprocated. And so it’s been such an honor to go this journey with you. And like I said, I know we still have a little bit left, which would be fun, and we’ll enjoy all of it personally, having had the relationship with you for the length of time that I have, and watching, you suffer for a really long time. I’m going to get emotional, I am emotional. It’s just an honor that you trusted me. I know how much it took you to overcome what you had to overcome to come into this program. And it’s just been an honor to be a part of your journey. Because I just have so much respect for you. And you’re naturally a teacher at heart. So I know that the impact that this program has had on you, you will give it back tenfold to everyone that you know, and it just is an honor, because at the end of the day, that’s what this is about. Right? My mission is to change women’s perspectives about what’s possible. And I know that you are an amazing partner to do that work alongside me. So thank you for the honor.
Melissa 26:01 Oh, gosh, thank you, I don’t think I would have done it for anyone else. You know, and now I will I believe in other people. But you helped me get there. And I literally said, I believed that I took the job that I took and moved to California because I was meant to meet you. And I was meant to be in this program. And I believe that 120%. And I can’t thank you enough. It literally has been life changing.
Blake Schofield 26:25 Well, I can’t say anything else after this. I feel like we have covered everything. So for those of you listening, I hope that you have been inspired by Melissa story. I hope she has opened up your perspective, right? A life that is built off of fear is never a good life. It just isn’t. Right, the anxiety, the doubt, the second guessing, both Melissa and I lived a lot of our life that way. And we’re both free of that today in so many ways. And so I just encourage you if her story really resonates with you, right, that maybe this isn’t exactly for you. And if you believe so and you want to find out what’s possible for your life, I encourage you please sign up for a complimentary personalized group fulfillment plan call, where we really help you understand where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths and the right next step to take. Until next time, have a great week. Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan. Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan. Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead.