Tanner Clark 0:00
Music. That little moment, which now I call your one second of strength, is this one moment where, no matter what’s going on in your life, no matter what fear, no matter what emotion, no matter what is pulling you back into comfort, into safety, no matter what is limiting who you can become, you have one second where you can just go—one second where you choose to move forward and do it anyway.

Blake Schofield 0:31
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment, Mom to three, USA Today Top 10 professional coach and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand perspectives to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment.

On this week’s episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment, I am interviewing Tanner Clark. He is a TEDx and mindset speaker who’s spoken on hundreds of stages, focused on helping audiences of all ages use their one second of strength to overcome distractions and to follow the SOS approach—setting your intentions, observing your behavior, and shifting to pursue what matters most. Tanner has bachelor’s degrees in Finance and Economics from Utah State University and an MBA from Arizona State. He spent 15 years in CPG marketing leading brands like Rolaids, Kaopectate, and Selsun Blue, and was the Senior Director of Marketing for Solaray Vitamins, which is the number-one vitamin and mineral brand in health and food stores, before he left corporate to speak full time.

In addition to being a TEDx speaker, Tanner is the host of The Second of Strength podcast, has been a guest on the news, various podcasts, and is a dad of four. I’m really excited to introduce you to Tanner—his story and his perspective, I hope, will leave you with inspiration, positive energy, and a very simple way to start taking one second of strength to move your life forward into the more fulfilling and more joyful life that you desire.

You it Tanner. Thank you so much for joining me. I’m really excited for our conversation today.

Thank you for having me. This is a pleasure. I always love to start these interviews by allowing the audience to get to know a little bit about you. So can you share a little bit about your background, your journey, and how you ended up doing the work that you’re going to share with us today.

Yeah, absolutely.

Tanner Clark 2:41
I feel like my journey has been round about and I don’t know, it’s easy to look back on life and kind of see the breadcrumbs and just go, “Oh, well, that’s how that happened.” And, you know, people always ask me how I started doing this, and my answer usually is like, “Well, a lot of serendipity, a lot of luck, a lot of just being ready for an opportunity,” and when I was ready, I walked through a door, and, you know, and I think that’s part of what we talk about today.

But my journey: I started in corporate America. I have an MBA from Arizona State University. I’ve worked in brand management, marketing for years as a brand manager, Director of Marketing—big brands, Rolaids, Kaopectate. Most recently, I was working for a big brand of supplements. And, you know, I just always—I don’t know, you know, you sometimes just have this calling, right, and you just kind of feel something in your heart that something’s not right.

And I’ll never forget the conversation I had with my wife a while back where I said, “Hey, I think I need to leave my job.” And she said, “Well, wait a minute—what about insurance? And what about braces? And what about all of these things?” And I was like, “Yep, yep, I know, yep, got all that, but I don’t—I’m not really looking for the why nots, but how can we do this? How can we do this?”

And so over time, as I transitioned my career—and for the last maybe five years I had been working as a Director of Marketing, and, you know, doing that in my nine-to-five (and sometimes it was much more than nine-to-five) and then working in the evenings as this—show up on social media and go into schools and talk to teenagers and talk to people about how they can be better in their life. And it just got to the point where I felt like I could impact people in a greater way if I could do it full time every single day.

And it wasn’t an easy decision. And as I look back on my life, there’s been tons of little moments that have ultimately led me to this stage. And it wasn’t one thing, and it wasn’t, you know, it just—I don’t know. There’s lots of them—from the moment (I think we’re going to talk a little bit about what I call your one second of strength) from the moment I can remember the first time I ever found my one second of strength and what that meant to me, to, you know, finding that moment and leaving your job. There’s all these little breadcrumbs, or these little callings, or these little moments where, if you’re paying attention and you’re willing to trust yourself a little bit, and you’re willing to walk out on a ledge that’s really scary and really dangerous in the moment. And just like, why would it—you want to do that.

In fact, when I told someone I was leaving my job to do motivational speaking—this was a very, you know, well-respected individual in business—and he just said, “I would never do that.” And it was like, “Yeah, you wouldn’t, you know, and, but I am, so here we go.” And I think that when you look back on life, there’s all these moments where you just kind of go, “Okay, okay, we can do this.”

And one of my favorite quotes—this guy by a guy named Charles Kettering—and it says, “Believe and act as though it were impossible to fail.” And I’ve tried to just take that little mindset and just move forward and just go and I might fail. Failing is really an option a lot of the time for me, but it’s okay to just go forward and believe that you won’t, and crazy things happen when you kind of do that.

So that’s, I don’t know, a little bit about, you know, and I guess, in a nutshell, how I ended up where I am today on this podcast, after, you know, a lot of time just working like you—working in corporate America, and just doing what I was supposed to do there.

Blake Schofield 5:56
I think, you know, I see so much synergy in so many, so many people’s journeys. I think for many of us, we grew up with parents who worked in the same career, the same company their whole lives, and this idea of changing your identity or changing your career path was really foreign. And yet I see that that is part of the human experience, is to go through those moments of change, through listening to that inner compass. For me, it felt like—and you kind of described it—I would describe it as this deeply unsettling feeling that there has to be something more to life than this. And most of the people I talked to did the same thing that you got, which is like, “Oh, I’d never do that,” or “That’s crazy,” or, “Why can’t you just be happy? Why can’t you get a hobby? Why can’t you X, Y, or Z?” And I think as a society, we haven’t talked enough about the fact that this is part of the human experience, to grow, to change, and it is our discomfort with that change, our lack of understanding the right steps to make that change in a way that doesn’t create unnecessary risk for ourselves or our families, that often keep people in circumstances that keep getting worse.

You know, it’s funny. I was talking to my oldest kiddo, who’s off at college today, and we were talking about one of my favorite principles, which is called the Investment Principle, and it essentially says, “Knowing what I know today, would I make the same decision,” right? Would I continue to be a Director of Marketing? Would I continue to invest in this relationship? And if the answer isn’t a hell yes, right, then it’s an opportunity and a space to actually identify what needs to change, which is really the second piece, which is then really asking what would have to change for it to be a hell yes. And I think if more of us understood that life isn’t permanent, that the decisions that we make when we have more information we can change them, that listening to that inner compass is actually what leads to a fulfilling life. If they had more of that understanding, more of that framework, we would see people be far more fulfilled, more healthy—like physically, mentally, emotionally—all of it for the ability to listen and then know what to do next.

And it was interesting. My kiddo said to me, “Well, you know, the decision’s already been made, what difference does it make?” And I was like, “You can’t change the past, but you absolutely can change the future,” and that’s the difference that it makes. And so I’m excited to hear you share about how those buildup moments for you, and how listening to that journey, led you to sort of unleash the ability to move through life with more ease, to move through that change with more ease, so that you are creating a life that you want, versus the life you feel like you have to lead because of your responsibilities or because of the way that society expects that you should want to do something?

Tanner Clark 8:45
Yeah, well, it’s really hard, you know. And I’m a dad of four, and, you know, married, and, like, there’s a lot of risk in taking a jump like I took, you know, like, a lot of risk, and it’s not taken lightly, then it’s not taken lightly now, but what I believe is that, you know—that you call your inner compass—like, I think everybody’s got that. The problem is most people don’t listen. Most people just kind of like—or maybe they hear it, and then that fear, that doubt, that all of those limiting beliefs just kind of come out, and when we listen to those limiting beliefs and that, you’re not good enough to do all of the things to do your true calling, when that voice is so loud, it becomes really hard to accomplish what your true potential, what your true passion, what your true purpose is.

But ultimately, and I, you know, very similar to you, I believe that I’m happiest when I’m creating things and I’m growing, and if I’m stagnant and I’m not creating something, then I’m not happy. And, like, I agree, like, life is meant to be fulfilling, life is meant to be happy. And you know, I always call it your next best, no matter what decision you made in the past, what’s the next best decision you’re going to make now? And most people just get so stuck in that, well, I can’t make a mistake at all, so I’m not going to make that decision, because I just got to stick in my comfort zone. And the reality is, there always is a choice. There’s always another choice. And if you messed up, if you fail, life feels like it’s falling apart. That’s okay. Well, now what—now what are you gonna do? What’s the next best decision you’re gonna make to move towards your goal, to get to where you wanna go? And when you kind of take that mindset, it really just makes every day this open, blank canvas into your future potential that you want to accomplish, and go write it, go write that story, go write that book, go, you know, whatever it is you want to do, go after it because, and if it doesn’t work out, then just redirect and do something else and go again and like, like, you’ve got all these chances to just live your potential and live your best life if you’re willing to do it. But it starts with that moment. It starts with one decision, to just lean in to that little voice in your head and your heart that just kind of goes, hey, you could do this. I think you could, you can, you can. And then your real voice is going to, no, no, no, you can’t, you can’t. You go, no, yeah, you can. Go do it. Go do it. You can do this.

Blake Schofield 10:59
So that’s awesome. So I think that’s a perfect lead in. I’m excited to hear about your first one-second moment and how that changed the trajectory of things for you.

Tanner Clark 11:08
Yeah, you know, when I was when I was little, when I was 12 years old, I just I started playing the guitar. In fact, I got kicked out of piano lessons once, because—not once, for good. The teacher was like, I showed up, you know, like practicing, playing like I’d been practicing all week long, and I hadn’t, like, zero piano practice. And she goes, “Tanner, did you did you practice piano this week?” And I went, “Nope.” And she goes, “Did you practice the guitar?” And I went, “Yep, every day.” And she was like, she closed my book. And she’s like, “I’ll call your mom. Please don’t come back.” And I was like, “Okay.” That was a rough ride home, by the way, from piano, like it was not good—about halfway and then halfway home my mom was like, “This probably better.” But I started playing the guitar, and I loved it, like I just loved that artistry of it and playing. And I started writing music, and just like, I don’t know, I just loved everything about it. I would play for hours a day, and I just wanted to be a rock star at the end of the day, like when I started, you know, writing music. I just wanted to play music in front of people, but I was really terrified to do it. And so when I was 15 years old, I was asked to speak at this really large church event. It was in my high school auditorium; there was about 2,500 people in the audience. And I remember sitting on that stage, for some reason I said, “Yes.” I was like, “Yeah, I’ll do it.” That was—And immediately, was like, “Wait a minute, what just came out of your mouth? You can’t do this.” And so I, I was sitting on that stage. I was scared to death, and I had this moment, you know, like this, like, grab your shoulders and shake you moment. It’s like, “Tanner, if you want to be a rock star,” and I remember, I literally remember thinking this, “Tanner, if you want to be a rock star and you want to play music in front of hundreds of thousands of people, if that’s what you— you can’t be scared of this moment.” And in one second it changed. In one second, the fear literally left my body, and I was left just in this comfortable state of acceptance of who I could become. And so I got up on that stage that day, and I gave this talk, and, yeah, I was scary. There were still nerves, I’m sure that were attached to it, but I did it. I didn’t die. I was good, like I made it through, and it was this moment where I recognized that I had this ultimate power and this ultimate control over my thoughts. And that little moment, which now I call your one second of strength, is this one moment where no matter what’s going on in your life, no matter what fear, no matter what emotion, no matter what is pulling you back into comfort, into safety, no matter what is limiting who you can become, you have one second where you can just go, one second where you choose to move forward and do it anyway. And it doesn’t mean it won’t be scary, like sometimes it’s still going to be scary, but you choose to go no matter what. And as I look back on my life, I can just look at all of these moments where I recognized that I had one second of strength to overcome to move forward, and that bread crumbing of life is really what led me to where I am today in helping teenagers and helping parents and helping people you know, just find their own one second of strength to just do it. Just do it anyway. And ultimately it becomes this massive unlock when you realize that you have the strength to do it. And you know, as I’ve, as I’ve talked with people, and it’s, you know, from the smallest of things to, you know, needing to find that motivation in the morning to exercise, to needing to talk with your boss about a raise or a promotion, or needing to find your one second of strength to go, “Hey, by the way, this is not my calling anymore. By the way, it’s time for me to move on,” even though that’s really scary. But you have these moments where you can either move forward towards what matters most, or you can run backwards towards safety. And when I unlocked my one second of strength I just realized in that moment I have this conscientious moment where I can just choose, and that choice is really what gets you to where over time is, over time, you have these one second, one second, one second, and you get to where you want to be in life. And you know, it’s, I don’t know, it’s just the, the thing that changed me more than anything was recognizing the power that I had over my thoughts.

Blake Schofield 15:04
There’s so many things—I was literally over here taking notes from what you shared, because there are moments to me as I look at what you’re sharing that I think are really powerful to stop as an audience, right? You know, I go back to you taking these lessons, and there’s no motivation to do the piano lessons, but you are just passionately doing the guitar. These are moments that happen to every one of us, whether we’re talking about ourselves as individuals or we’re talking about our children. And I think this is a really powerful thing to stop and speak to, because what I see as often as adults, the things that we were passionate about or loved as children, if we didn’t have parents who understood some of these things, often, those things were conditioned out of us. Some of the things that are naturally who we are or what we’re passionate about, or we get so focused on being responsible for our children, our jobs or whatever that we are not doing the things that light us up. But what I know to be true is the things that are effortless, the things that you naturally have a passion for, the things that automatically give you energy are those breadcrumbs, are those signs of what you should be doing. And so it’s beautiful to hear your story because your mom was able to recognize it, but how many parents might have that kid that they’re paying all the money for to go do the piano lesson, that they’re angry that the kid is not learning piano, that they feel like the kid should play piano, and they’re not recognizing the difference between maybe their desire for their child and who their child really is, yeah, and I think there’s something really powerful in that message, knowing that many of our audience are parents as well, as you know, understanding those things for ourselves. I think this is a place where we stop really early. We stop listening to ourselves, or we should ourselves about what we should be focusing on, or where we should put our time, or what’s worthy of the things we’re passionate in. And I guess if you’re listening to this, and you think to yourself, oh my goodness, I’ve done that to my kids, or, Oh my goodness, I used to love doing this, but I don’t feel like I should spend time on that, because I have all these other things that the journey to a fulfilling life starts with listening to the things that give you energy that you’re passionate about doing, and honoring that as part of who you are. And so I love that you were able to honor that as part of who you are that your parents, you know, didn’t guilt and shame you and allowed you to do what you were passionate about, because that was the beginning of the seed of you listening to who you were and what made you passionate in order to be able to be where you are today. And often, we think those little moments don’t matter, but they do, because it was a moment to teach you to trust and listen to yourself and even your piano teacher to recognize that, rather than try to force you to do piano, it was like, Nope, this is not really your thing. Go, do you. That’s such an important thing that I think in our society, we can do a better job encouraging people that the things that you are passionate about, that do light you up, are not only worthy of your time, but then the bread comes to the life that you really want, yeah.

Tanner Clark 18:04
It’s really important. And, you know, I think about my past, and I was, I was an unmotivated teenager. I didn’t care about schoolwork, clearly, didn’t care about piano. I just kind of went through life, you know, loved playing with my friends, loved video games, loved, you know, all of this. These were old, old video games, by the way, but, you know, I just, I don’t know, like I was just going through it, Cs, Bs, I was okay with all that. My parents were constantly harping on me for procrastination. Get your stuff done, get your stuff done. Enough that when I was about 14 years old, they sent me to a summer work camp. It was a three-week-long camp where, you know, I think they were just trying to work the motivation into me. And it wasn’t all bad, like it was wake up at 6 a.m. and we went out and we were, you know, scraping bark off of trees so that the next day we could build a fence. We were cutting down thistle, painting houses. And then the afternoons, we got to do some fun stuff, horseback riding and whatnot. But, like, I think my parents were really concerned about me. But believe it or not, that work camp did not change me. It didn’t help at all. I do remember like getting home and going, I can wash some dishes. That’s easy, you know? That’s not bark off trees. But what changed me was when my parents allowed me to just be me and accept responsibility for my actions. And they had a conversation once that I don’t remember, I wasn’t privy to it, but they just said with themselves, hey, we’re either going to have this terrible relationship with our son, or we’re going to have a conversation with him and tell him that it’s up to him, his grades, his responsibility. What happens? Happens—he, you know, you can choose your choices, but you can’t choose your consequences. So what choices you can choose? And I think that when they stepped back and they were still guiding, and they’re still parenting, but they took this different approach to parenting, and when they stepped back and when they stepped back and did that, I stepped into my own. I started getting good grades. I started doing what I was supposed to do, and like uncovering all these different things and passions. And, hey, I’m not a worthless little teenager who can’t do anything, but I can accomplish things. I can get my work done. And, you know, I think a lot of times as parents, we really focus on all that our kids are not, instead of leaning into all that they are. And that’s really easy to do when our kids are messing up. And because we have this life experience where we can just go, oh, well, yeah, of course. Like, if you don’t do this, then bad things are gonna happen. We start projecting into the future all these bad things. Or if you don’t play piano, if you don’t go, you know, be the best soccer player or whatever, like I was, you’re not going to have a good life. And it couldn’t be further from the truth—your kids are going to grow up. They’re going to be fine, but you do have to listen and lean in to their strengths and celebrate all that they are instead of all that they’re not. Because even when I was an unmotivated teenager, I was a good kid, and I was doing a lot of really good things, really well. I just didn’t really care about schoolwork at the moment, you know, and all that. But, you know, I always laugh with my mom because I’m like, Look, sometimes that unmotivated kid becomes motivational speaker. Sometimes that kid who you just thought was not gonna accomplish anything, because they’re always fighting with you. They’re always battling you. Like, it’s always this, like, choke point, like, and we all have that right, like, it’s, it’s tough when you’re parenting in that moment, but sometimes that kid is gonna grow up to be, like, the best negotiator, the best salesperson, the best whatever they can become, because all of these characteristics and all these traits that they have that are kind of painful when they’re really little are actually their greatest strengths, if, if you develop them, if you lean into them, if you help guide them through that, instead of suppressing them and knocking them down. And I think that, you know for me, it’s, it’s always a checkpoint for me, and it’s something I struggle with to this day. But I have the, I have the unique perspective of having been through some of that myself, and then also speaking to teenagers and being in their world. So I kind of am able to just step back every once in a while and be aware and kind of go wait and what am I doing here? How am I doing on this and then be able to move forward. I think we can always make a different decision, but we’ve got to recognize where we’re at, and if we’re not, then how do we grow? We have to grow forward. But it comes through that awareness, in parenting, in life, in business, in whatever it is to get to where you want to be, yeah.

Blake Schofield 22:06
100% and I love what you’re sharing, because, you know, a big part of the work that I’ve done is really uncovering that we all are naturally wired to work the way we work best. And unfortunately, we grew up in a society that says everyone should be at work the same way and be equally as good at all these things, and that inherently is part of the problem—that children, when they’re really young, know exactly what they’re passionate about and how to do it, and it’s our belief systems around how our children should be or what is necessary to be successful that actually gets them off path. And I think creates a lot of the issues of which adults have to then go back and figure out, you know, why am I suffering from cycles of burnout? Why am I unfulfilled? Well, because you’ve been living a life that you thought you had to, not the life that you actually created. And so I think there’s such beauty in what you’re saying, and that the experience that you had of feeling unmotivated and then finding your way is a huge piece of who you are today, and the message that you can give in the same way that my experience has been a huge piece of that journey. And I think as parents, we often don’t want our children to experience the struggles that we experience, and so we’re projecting literally our life on them, and my experience has been the more you can truly like, accept yourself and not judge the ways of which like you were judged as a kid, or the things that you’re interested or not interested in, the more you can be accepting of your children, the better a leader you can be as well, because you can accept and understand the teams of people that you’re working with. And what it does is enable people to lock into the true superpower, and to your point, develop that superpower and strength and motivation is not something you can, I mean, hearing you say that the camp didn’t work, I’m like, not surprised, right? You can’t beat someone into motivation. There is intrinsic motivation when the thing that you’re doing is interesting and you can do it in a way that feels good to you, and you don’t need somebody to force you to do that. And I think because, as a society, so much of us have been conditioned into things, many of us haven’t spent enough time to actually connect to the intrinsic motivation. And so if you’re listening to this today, and you’re like, you know, so much of my life is responsibility and I am drained at the end of the day, the best thing you can do is to go tap into like one thing that gives you energy, drive and momentum and start doing that. And to your point, Taylor, it’s one second, it’s one decision. And the more you do of that, the easier it becomes to move in the direction of the life you want. But.

Tanner Clark 24:33
I think one of the biggest challenges today is most people aren’t taking the time to recognize that in their own hearts or what’s going on. But the biggest challenge today is truly distraction. Instead of when life gets a little bit hard or a little bit uncomfortable or like a little bit challenging, the default now is to just pick up your phone and sit down on the staircase of life and do nothing. And there’s nothing worse than just sitting and doing nothing instead of moving life forward. And, you know, I think that one of my big things over the last couple weeks is just, we got to sit in silence a little bit more. We’ve got to get really, really comfortable with that boredom and that silence, because I believe that you already have the answers to almost every problem you’re facing, if you’ll just listen to yourself, give yourself the answers. But most people just don’t—we just occupy our time. We occupy our energy with with the phone, with other things that don’t fill us with passion, with whatever it is. And now we feel more stuck, and we feel more unhappy, and we feel more further away from the goal that we want to accomplish, because another day passed. And instead of dealing with everything that I have to deal with or another day pass, instead of, you know, doing a couple of things that I know I should be doing to move myself forward, I’m just stuck, and I’m just sitting there, and I’m doing it because of instant gratification. I just think that the biggest thing standing between you and me and your listeners and long term satisfaction is instant gratification. We’re just willing, we’re just willing to just fill our minds with enough now, and it changes us and doesn’t let us to pursue what we want later. So.

Blake Schofield 26:07
Yeah, I often say you can’t receive when your hands are full. Yeah, you know, I know the truth of what you speak in terms of the answers come in the silence, and I do think it is really easy to immediately get on your phone or turn on the TV or go do something. It is the busyness of life that keeps us from actually living the life that we want, yeah. And I also know how challenging that can be, because in the silence comes the things often that we don’t want to see, that we don’t want to feel, that we don’t want to acknowledge, and I often end up helping a lot of people that are similar to me. I was a, you know, type A people pleaser, and so when I spent 18 years in corporate, continuing to make changes, hoping it would be better, right, improvements, but still, ultimately, going through the same cycle, I had to go through some pretty significant burnouts, to get to a place where I was willing to give up the security that I had in my corporate job that was literally killing me from the inside out, the identity of, you know, a highly successful, you know, business woman who had three kids, who had it all, quote unquote, and honestly, the judgment that came with some of the choices that I made that other people, just like you, said, “There’s no way I would ever do that,” to get to a place where I was willing to listen to myself about how unfulfilled I was, about how much of my life was about responsibility, and how little of my life was actually being present in the way that I really wanted to and so I think that there’s so many easy ways to avoid those things, but what I know is that freedom comes on the other side of them. Freedom comes on the other side of whatever it is that you’re avoiding feeling or thinking that often we are our worst critic, and I personally believe healing happens in community, that we stay stuck because of the ways of which we’re our own worst bully, and when you can find a trusted person who is impartial, who has done and walked this journey, who can help you realize you’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you, right? That this is part of the experience and the journey, and that what you’re feeling and experiencing isn’t necessarily the truth, right? It’s the stories that we build up in our lives. And I continuously see over and over again that the experiences we have in our lives that feel difficult are hard often, rather than see them for the reality that they are, we internalize that as self blame. And it’s actually that self blame, over and over and over again that keeps us stuck in this belief system that I’m broken or something’s wrong with me, or I should be happy in this job, or I should do this thing, and until you can find somebody to help you see that your brain is lying to you, that maybe the reality that you’re telling yourself isn’t the full truth. It’s really hard to go free from that, but the power on the other side of it when you do is unbelievable. I would say, like 90% of what I believed nine years ago has been disproven and replaced with far more truthful, far more positive belief systems that have enabled me to radically and positively transform my life, but it started with being willing to acknowledge that I was unhappy, that I was stuck, and I had been unhappy for a period of time, and that, in my case, it was too deep for me to be able to take a moment and take an action. I couldn’t just replace that belief system. I needed somebody that could help me navigate through the journey.

Tanner Clark 29:44
Well, I think it’s really important. Most of the things that we’re dealing with as humans are very deeply embedded in us, from childhood, from past traumas, past struggles, the things we’re going through, and a lot of people forget that going through means go through—they kind of go, oh, wait, I don’t want to, you know? And we don’t, we just, again, sit down on that staircase of life, and we just kind of dull our pain instead of, instead of really moving through it. But I would say, when you find your one second of strength to overcome or walk away from the thing that’s hurting your heart, the very next second will be the best second of your life. That second is what you just mentioned. It’s freedom, right? Like all the weight, all the pain, all the everything that’s on your shoulders will immediately go away. Now, you’re right that some of that stuff we can do on our own, sometimes we’re not strong enough to do it on our own, or we’re not strong enough to see the cycles, or we’re not strong enough, or we need that community. And, you know, there’s a couple of statistics out there, one that that 90% of the things that we think are things that we thought yesterday. And what’s crazy about that is, you know, a lot of things I thought yesterday weren’t really serving me, you know, like, those weren’t great things, and those are the things that we need to move from, but we kind of get stuck, and we just keep thinking them. And a lot of those are negative thoughts. And when we think negative thoughts, well, then we have negative behaviors. And when we have negative behaviors, we have these negative experiences which lead to more negative emotions. And now, all of a sudden, we’re going down and down and down and down on this spiral of struggle and pain and things that we need to go through, or things that we’re validating our past, even though the truth is, if you talked about like, those truths aren’t really truths. The truths are none of that, but we’ve got to break that. You’ve got to break that cycle, in that moment with that one second strength, and choose a new thought, you know, choose something else, choose a truth that you can put in your mind, which is truth, because you can anchor it in past experiences. And if you look for them, they’re there. You will find all the goodness of who you are, even if you’ve had a rough life, even if you’ve had bad circumstances, even if you struggled—whatever has happened before, and all the reasons that you are validating your suffering, there are still truths of all the positives that are in your life, and you just have to choose to lean on those, and it’ll push you towards better behaviors and better experiences and better emotions, and all of a sudden you’re going to be this really happy person, even though you thought you couldn’t, but you’ve decided to go through that. And sometimes you do need that help. Sometimes you need somebody to really help you, you know. And I think Arthur Brooks says that one of the things that lead you to happiness, there’s a couple of different things. One of them is meaningful work. One of them is family. One of them is faith or hope in the future, and one of them is friends. Well, you’ve got to have some of those things. And a lot of people kind of go through life going, well, I’ve got pretty good faith and got decent family. Maybe there’s trauma there, but like, I had a family and I’ve got, maybe you don’t if you know, depending on where you’re at, for me, it was like, I got me for work, and I was like, I probably need some better friends. I probably need some community that can help support me and sustain me so that I can really be happy. But most people, if you kind of check down that list of faith, family, friends and meaningful work, it’s really a self assessment of going, Well, where am I? How am I stacking up on these things? And if you’re falling short in meaningful work because you’re not fulfilled, or because you know you’ve got a boss or you have to wake up and you begrudgingly go to work every day, then might need to change that. And it’s interesting. I’ve like, been thinking about this recently where, you know, people will, like, throw fits and have these like, crazy emotions about the craziest little things, right? Like, the line is too long at Starbucks, or, like, Man, I have to wait in Costco line forever to fill up my car with gas or whatever. Like, there’s all these problems, but we’ll sit in the same dead end job for a really long time and won’t take up ourselves, but we’ll, we’ll struggle with the other stuff, and it doesn’t make sense to me, right? Like, like, if you want to have a meaningful life, then just take a minute and look at where you’re at and it’s okay. Like, the the path to happiness may not be tomorrow, but you can certainly take steps today to get there. And a lot of people just don’t. A lot of people just kind of go, I’m not willing to do that. And, and I think for me, yeah, really hard to leave my job, really hard to go, Hey, I’m going to try and make this thing as a motivational speaker. You know, I’m going to go out to schools and do all these things. But would I change it? No, no, no, I wouldn’t. You know, like, no matter how hard or difficult it gets, I know that when I’m in service of other people and helping people and helping them grow, and then I’m fulfilling myself, it beats that nine to five all day long. And I’m not saying that for some people, that nine to five isn’t the right answer. You know, for some people, it really is, and maybe there’s opportunities there. There’s different pathways. Like, as you talk about, like, everybody has these different boxes that you check. For me, it was guitar, not piano, whatever it is. For some people, like, climbing that corporate ladder is like, let’s go, let’s go, get it right. But are you taking the steps to even do that, or are we stuck on the staircase of life?

Blake Schofield 34:40
Yeah, I think that’s a really valid point. And it’s an it’s an interesting one, because so much of society is focused on feeling like life is happening to you. I’m a victim of what I’m experiencing. I’m a victim of this person ahead of me that turned on the turn too quickly. I’m a victim of this boss that come over that doesn’t understand that I have a family, and I know, for me, I definitely, you know, years ago, I felt that way. That was the environment and the experience that I had. And it was a lot easier to complain about the things on a small daily basis that bothered me than it was to honestly look at something that was incredibly scary. Like, you know, I’ve invested my entire career in this job where I make a lot of money and feel very heavy responsibility. And how do you change that? But I believe, like you, a huge part of it ultimately came down to no longer be willing to tolerate what I was experiencing. Because I think we don’t change if we can just keep going. Right for me, it got to that place where I was like, I cannot tolerate this anymore. I tried to solve it over and over again, but it was really the journey to being able to understand what you speak to which is the thoughts that are in our heads aren’t necessarily truth. And I used to believe that what I heard in my head and what I thought was true, it was only through the journey of being able to understand how our brains are wired, why we have the belief systems that we have, and the fact that we have the power to actually change that through neuroplasticity and through building new neural pathways and training our brain differently. And once I began to understand you can train your brain to stop telling you bad things that make you feel horrible, right? I don’t have to be in these mental spirals that I’m projecting out all of this fear. When I began to understand that, it was like, all of a sudden, you can create whatever you want in your life. And I think for so many people who haven’t experienced that, they’re going through life with these frustrations and feeling like things are happening to them, it’s because they actually don’t understand that their experience is part of the human experience, and they can experience something entirely different. Should they choose to learn the skills? And it’s people like you and me and other ones of us that have done this work, that have experienced the freedom, that have the gift of being able to share that with others so that they may do the same.

Tanner Clark 37:00
And it doesn’t mean you’re immune from it either, right? Like, I have limiting beliefs all the time, and it’s interesting. I kind of equate it to like fog. When you are driving through fog, you can only see just so far in front of you, but when you drive to that next point that you can see, then you can drive forward again, and you can drive forward again, and it always uncovers more pathway, right, even though you can’t see it, even though you can’t see what’s around the bend. Doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong road. But I think that sometimes we forget, and we look out into this fog and go, Oh no, now I gotta go backwards. And even as a motivational speaker, even as someone who thinks about these, even as coaches and all like we still struggle. We still struggle and wake up. The difference is, is we’ve unlocked ways and abilities to begin to overcome that right, and to check ourselves. And, like, I think there’s this consistent and constant, like, checkpoint that we have to have in life and then move forward. And I think that there’s this feeling sometimes where nobody else struggles, just me, and the reality is is everybody struggles, including you. But are we going to try again tomorrow? Are we going to stand up and go? Are we just going to keep fighting, keep pushing? Because what matters most on the other side of that is what matters most, and if we lose sight of that, that’s when we start to get enveloped by the fog, but when you keep going and keep going and keep going, you end up at this place that’s really beautiful and just transformative in your life, in your happiness, in your family’s happiness, you have the power to change everybody’s life around you, if you’re willing to move through those thoughts, move through those challenges and things that you’re facing to get to where you want to go.

Blake Schofield 38:41
Yeah, I love that you’re right. The human experience will always be the human experience, but, and we’ll all, we all have our challenges, but to have the frameworks to understand, how do I, what do I do in this moment, right? How do I direct where I’m thinking, what I’m feeling, and where I’m going, and to have the self awareness of like, oh, that’s just that same belief system that always comes back. That’s not true. I’ll just ignore that, because I know that that’s my proponents need to go into that, right? Yeah, and the the awareness of how your inner compass is talking to you, and what feels like alignment to you and passion and what doesn’t those are things that, in my opinion, are immeasurable to creating an amazing life, and we all have the ability to use those, but often we need someone help us develop the skill. And I wish this is stuff that and so I’m so glad you’re going into schools and helping kids know this, right? I wish this is stuff that we were teaching our children when they were younger, so that they don’t go through so much of misalignment and then have to find their way back.

Tanner Clark 39:40
Well, it’s really hard. And you think about teenagers and their brains, and kids in their brains, right? That prefrontal cortex speaks logic to the world, right? It doesn’t develop until around the age of 25 years old, and so these kids are kind of up against it, where they’re going, Well, wait a minute, like, I’m supposed to not have, you know, like, overcome these emotions, but all I think with is my emotions, but it’s. When you when you’re aware of it, and when you are aware of what’s going on, then you’re empowered to overcome it. The very first thing I tell teenagers and anyone, any event I speak at, is I tell them that you’re in control of your life. I talk about the one second strength, my story, and, you know, playing the guitar and all those things. But I just tell them you’re in control of your life. And then I make them say it. I make them say I am all sudden, like, Oh, wait. And I help them recognize that when you verbalize that there is a power that comes along with it, and when you take control that power, then you can move forward, then you can overcome all these different things. You know, when I look at it, I call it the SOS approach, and so you’ve got, you know, first of all, just set your intentions. Second is observe your behavior. Be aware. Be aware, like we’ve been talking about this whole time. And when you’ve got these intentions, these things you want to accomplish, and you’re aware of what’s going on in your life, and you’re kind of off track, then you make a shift with your one second of strength like that. Quick. Just make a shift. Oh, I’m off track. Oh, I’m thinking negative thoughts. Oh, I wanted to do this, and now I’m doing this. Oh, I wanted to accomplish these great things, but I’m scrolling on my phone. Find you one second of strength. Make shift. But you have to be aware, and it starts with setting your intentions. What do you really want to accomplish? Do you want to be happy? Do you want to be fulfilled? Do you want to accomplish these great things? Do you want to start your own business and grow it, and like, you know, have financial freedom and time freedom and all of these wonderful things that come with happiness and growth and all of that? Is that what you want? Okay? Then what? What’s standing in your way? What is keeping you from becoming the person that you want to become? And when you kind of recognize that, and you go, Wait a minute, and you kind of, and then you would also recognize you’re in control, then there’s a moment, right? And then there’s this moment where you go, Okay, let’s shift. Let’s go. Let’s make a change. Let’s do something different. Because the person I am today and the person that’s got me here has gotten me here for a reason, but it doesn’t have to be who I am going forward. It doesn’t have to be the same person I can decide who I want to be and how I want to show up in this world. And for teenagers, it’s really tough, because they’re just learning. They’re developing that brain. They’re up against social media. They’re up against people’s opinions. Like, Middle School is the toughest time for kids, because they’re like, all of a sudden, they’re like, Wait, there’s other kids, and they care about what I’m wearing and what I’m doing, and like, all of a sudden, like, the world collapses. But when you recognize you’re in control, then you can overcome that, then you can make a logical choice, because the difference between your one second of strength is really just choosing. Am I going to go with my emotional brain or am I going to pause for a second and go with my logical brain and choose something different in that moment? And when you choose different, your life unlocks. That’s the difference to me.

Blake Schofield 42:37
So good. Thank you for that. Yeah, the just that shift of right, I am in control of my life. There’s such power in that, because we get caught in the illusion that we don’t have control. And when you feel powerless, you often freeze to your point, or you end up avoiding and it’s that that creates the perpetuation of the problem. So the ability to recognize I am in control at every moment of my life and every day, I can just make one decision to get me closer to where I want to go. And over a period of time, weeks, months, your life can radically transform.

Tanner Clark 43:14
Like you said, like, is life happening to you or life happening for you? Well, if it’s happening to you, you’re not in control. If it’s happening for you, you’re in ultimate control. You get to decide how it happens for you. I have a saying that I kind of my my phrase for the year is all good things. And I just believe no matter what happens to me, all good things come from it. It’s the right thing to happen, because it’s going to help me take control and move to where I want to go. Because every single day there are a lot of things that happen, proverbial to us, right, like, there’s a lot of things that come my way, right? My daughter needs this or this and this, whatever it is. There’s a lot of things that happen, but all good things, something better is going to come if you allow it, if you choose to take that mindset and move and continually move towards your goals and your dreams and the things that you want to accomplish what matters most in your life.

Blake Schofield 44:07
So awesome. Tanner, thank you so much. It’s been such a great conversation with that said, we’re almost out of time. So for anyone that’s listening that would love to follow you or learn a little bit more about what you do, how can they find you?

Tanner Clark 44:19
So the easiest way is on Instagram, @realtannerclark—and then my website is OneSecondOfStrength.com. Those are probably the easiest ways. And then I have a, I have my own podcast, The Second of Strength podcast. But those are probably the three easiest ways, quick sways to find me and catch up.

Blake Schofield 44:37
Wonderful. So with that said, Is there anything to round us out, anything that I haven’t asked you, that I should have, or anything that’s just on your heart that you’d like to close us off with?

Tanner Clark 44:47
For me, I think that there’s this moment in time where, if we allow distractions—and whether that is external distractions like phones or somebody, something from us, there’s always something going on from an external nature—or an internal distraction, which would be that voice in your head that’s saying you’re not good enough. But I believe that you have the power to overcome all of that and choose to overcome those little distractions. Does come down to empowering thoughts that help propel you towards where you want to be. And I think that too many teenagers today, too many adults, too many people don’t take that next step in their life because they go, “I don’t know if I’m good enough. I’m not like them. I’m not, you know, yeah, she did it, yeah, he did it, but I’m not them. I don’t have that.” And I think that people forget that their unique set of skills is what uniquely qualifies them for whatever they want to accomplish in this life. Instead of constantly being distracted by the negative thoughts, we’re constantly being distracted by the external stuff, like the phones and all that. But the truth is, is that if you want to be fulfilled, if you want to, I don’t know, be happy—I think that’s really what we want to all want, right? Fulfillment, happiness—like, if you really want to do that, then it just takes that one moment, that one second, to just go, All right, I’m going to do it. I’m good enough. Take a chance. I don’t know, something crazy will happen if you just take a chance on your life. You can do anything you want, but you might just have to find one second of strength to take one step forward.

Blake Schofield 46:21
Thank you, Tanner. It’s been a pleasure. And for those of you guys who are listening, I hope you can take this one second of strength. Think about it. Where can you apply it in your life this week? Because what I know is consuming content doesn’t lead to change. It’s the action and taking the step and applying it that does. Until next time, have a great week.