Overcoming the Fear of Change

Ep: 216

Does the idea of change fill you with fear? 

Our feelings and beliefs around change often come from past experiences that we carry into adulthood. Unfortunately, those beliefs can keep us stuck in patterns that prevent us from making clear and confident decisions.

But change doesn’t have to be hard or scary. By getting to the root of your fears when it comes to change, you can begin to get closer to the life you actually want.

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment®, Blake helps you take the first steps towards understanding and overcoming the fear of change.

In this episode, you’ll learn how career coaching can help you uncover the roots of your fears, finally allowing you to get unstuck. You’ll learn where fears originate and how they impact our lives when we aren’t able to let go of them.

It’s time to release your fear of the unknown and finally achieve the life you want.

What You’ll Learn:

  • How fear creates risk (1:34)
  • Understanding the root cause of your fears and beliefs (3:03)
  • How Blake shifted her own fear of change (5:27)
  • Processing childhood fears as an adult (6:29)
  • Reclaiming control of your fears (7:00)

Favorite Quotes:

  1. By continuing to do what we are doing, we are actually at the greatest risk. We are choosing the thing that has zero likelihood of actually getting us what we want in life. – Blake
  2. Change is likely none of the things that you think it is. It’s actually the place where you can be excited, the place where you can expand possibilities, and it is the only path if you truly want more for your life. – Blake
  3. Rather than change itself being painful or hard, it’s the belief systems that you’ve created based on the repercussions of that change. – Blake

Additional Resources: 

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is.
We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes

For other programs and opportunities to work with Blake, go to www.BlakeSchofield.com


Blake Schofield 0:05
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment®, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment®.

Blake Schofield 0:38
Many of us have formed beliefs around change. That it has to be hard, painful, take a long time, maybe that we’re really good at it. It’s hard for us, or that it has to be risky. And it’s these very beliefs that keep us trapped, repeating the exact same patterns decisions a day to day living that isn’t making us happy, or getting us any closer to the life we actually want. And you see, fear can be a very tricky thing. It hides behind due diligence, research, waiting for the perfect time, needing to have a more solid plan. It hides behind black and white all or nothing thinking. Either I get everything I want or I get nothing.

Blake Schofield 1:34
Have you ever heard that old saying insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results? How about this one by Virginia Satir. Most people prefer the certainty of misery, to the misery of uncertainty. So where do we start in this journey to no longer allowing our fears, especially around change, stop us from creating what we want in our lives? Well, the first thing we have to do is recognize that by continuing to do what we are doing, we are actually at the greatest risk, we are choosing the thing that has zero likelihood of actually getting us what we want in life. It is our version of insanity.

Blake Schofield 2:20
Have you ever heard this quote by Albert Einstein, we cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them. If we want to create change in our lives, then that means we need to think differently, often that can feel challenging when there’s so much emotion to our decision making. So let’s break down where the emotions coming from. And how you can shift things to realize that change is likely none of the things that you actually think that it is. But it’s actually the place where you can be excited. The place where you can expand possibilities. And it is the only path if you truly want more for your life.

Blake Schofield 3:01
So let’s start with the root cause. Where do our beliefs about change come from? Have you ever stopped and thought about that? What’s led you to believe what you believe about change? Usually, it comes down to something that we experienced in our childhood, that led us to believe that it was change that was actually what was difficult, painful, hard. Can you think about a moment like that in your life?

Blake Schofield 3:28
Now I want you to stop for a second. And now we’re going to do something that’s the polar opposite. I’d like you to stop and think about a time in your life when you actually create a change quickly. And it was easy and painless. Maybe it was creating change in your job, something needed to be fixed or overhauled, and you came right in, figured it out and made it happen. Maybe it was a decision that you just knew in your gut was the right thing and you went and took action. But I’d like you to think about these two really different experiences. The experience of a child when you were a child, that was something that was painful. And the experience when you create a change quickly and it was easy and painless.

Blake Schofield 4:10
What made those two situations different? I would venture to bet it probably boils down to a couple of things. The change that you created quickly and was easy and painless. You probably felt in control, you are less emotional about it, and it likely have less of a relationship or connection impact. Versus what happened in your childhood, where as kids we very rarely have control. So it feels like things are happening to us. Often the changes that happen to us in our childhood actually are really emotional because they impact relationships, friendships, et cetera. And so if we can see two situations one, which was easy, and one which felt difficult and painful, and they’re both change, then, that has to challenge the perspective that we have about change.

Blake Schofield 5:03
So one of the important things is to start to look at how I have identified and what I’ve been telling myself, the stories I’ve been telling myself about change. Because likely the belief systems that you have really weren’t based on the actual thing that changed what but it was based on maybe some of the repercussions of that change. And it wasn’t actually change itself, that was painful, difficult, or hard. If you’ve been listening this podcast long enough, you know, my parents got divorced when I was just about seven. And I had a lot of belief systems around change actually being hard, painful, and difficult and taking a long time. And as a child, and I look back at some of the major changes that happen in my life that felt that way.

Blake Schofield 5:46
Many times, they were things I had zero control over, I wasn’t expecting them to show up. And it wasn’t actually the change itself, that was hard. It was the fears that I had about what was coming. It was the relationships that were impacted by me moving and feeling like I lost some relationships with people that were really meaningful to me, or I didn’t have the same type of relationship that was really meaningful to me. And so when I really went and dug into this, I realized it really wasn’t change, that was difficult, painful, or hard. It was feeling like I was out of control. It was the relationship strains or changes that I missed.

Blake Schofield 6:29
And so it’s important to begin to understand as an adult that so much of what was out of control when we were children is no longer the case today. And so when we can really see the real reason why change has felt difficult to us, we can realize, like I said, it wasn’t the change itself, it was likely the inability to make the decision, feeling out of control, or having those negative relationship impacts. And here’s the beautiful thing. Today, you can control all of those things, especially when you build a strategic plan for change. And I often find being able to open and expand our perspective about change is one of the first steps we have to take, in order to really recognize the true impact that we can make by aligning our life was what we really want.

Blake Schofield 7:25
So today, I hope I’ve given you a few things to think about. That change doesn’t have to be painful, difficult or hard. And in fact, it probably never was. It was all of the other circumstances surrounding that that felt difficult, but the actual change itself wasn’t. And that you’ve experienced change in ways that have felt easy, simple, like growth, and that those changes can create expansion, happiness, and truly being the key to learning how to create the life that you want. I’ve enjoyed our time together today. I hope you have as well. And until next time, I hope you have a wonderful week ahead.

Blake Schofield 8:17
Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener, identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan. Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead!