Redefining How We Look at Success

Ep: 187

The image of success we’ve been taught to believe in can feel very cookie-cutter.

But the truth is that there is more than one version of success.

It’s no wonder we see so many people who look like they have it all from the outside, but feel lost and unhappy on the inside. What defines success for one person doesn’t always determine it for someone else.

Is your version of success really your own?

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment, Blake challenges you to look at what you’ve been taught about success. If you have what looks like success on paper, but you’re still unhappy, then it’s time to rethink whose definition of success you’ve actually been following.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to let go of definitions of success that don’t align with your own version of fulfillment. You’ll hear how to release yourself from the “shoulds”, and learn how to identify what success looks and feels like to you. You’ll learn how career coaching can help you challenge your beliefs and unlock your greatest, unseen assets.


What You’ll Learn:
• How to challenge your beliefs with an “open loop” (1:29)
• Getting unstuck from the “shoulds” in your life (2:56)
• Why you deserve the changes you want to make (4:05)
• The real reason why having it all still doesn’t feel like success (6:12)
• How outdated advice can hold you back from tapping into your greatest gift (7:15)

Favorite Quotes:
1. An open loop is a beautiful thing because it enables us to start to see the world a little bit differently, leaving space open for the unexpected.
2. There’s something really broken in society when we believe that we don’t deserve to create change.
3. The belief systems we form tell us that there’s only one way to do things, but that’s the handcuffs that keep us hustling, grinding, and frustrated.
4. What have you been taught about how success has to look, and what about that is keeping you stuck?

Additional Resources: 

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is. 
We can help you do just that. 

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to:


Blake Schofield 0:05 Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of the Bridge to Fulfillment, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment.

Blake Schofield 0:39 What if everything that you were taught about what a “successful life” looks like about what it took to create that successful life was actually wrong? Or maybe perhaps not the only way of doing it? You know, I’ve been having this conversation a lot with clients recently, who grew up in certain environments where they were raised to believe that if they followed the rule book, if they did things a certain way, if they followed all of those steps, that then they would be able to achieve whatever they wanted to achieve.

Blake Schofield 1:03 And then something happened in their life unexpected, maybe it was a layoff, maybe it was something where they didn’t, quote unquote, succeed, maybe they felt like they failed at something. And ground that they had that belief system on, really was shaken. And here’s why I want to bring this concept up and just sort of open up this concept for you to think about what what one of my mentors calls an open loop. And open loop is when information is shared with you that might be contradictory, or different than what you expect. And instead of immediately trying to get the answer, or Google it or search it or identify whether it’s true or not, you just allow some space to kind of process or think about it. In open loop is a beautiful thing, because it enables us to start to see the world a little bit differently, and to maybe leave some space open for something different than what we expect. Although Unfortunately, most of the time we don’t leave open loops, we’re so quick to pick up our phone and research to confirm what we think is or is not true. And when we do that, we usually end up adopting information principles, ideas that actually maybe aren’t the most beneficial, or aren’t the only answer. So today, I want to challenge you to have an open loop, that perhaps the way that you were taught to create success, and perhaps what success in and of itself looks like, maybe isn’t the only way to do things. And I share this because I see women so stuck in careers and lives that are unfulfilling for them, because that’s what they quote unquote, should do. Because people think that they’re successful, and therefore, they think, oh, people would judge me or think I’m crazy for doing something different. One of the conversations I had with a client today, we were talking about her really exploring what she wants in her life. And she’s so stuck in the shoulds. And what it has to look like and what other people’s judgments are, that she couldn’t even see what she really wanted for herself. And her perspective was that things have to be horrible, in order for her to be worthy of or capable of asking for something different. And I think that this is a lie many of us have been taught. And I’ll share with you what I’ve shared with her, which is your job doesn’t have to be horrible. You don’t have to be working terrible hours, you don’t have to be absolutely miserable every moment of the day, in order for you to deserve once or be capable of creating something different for your life. There’s something really broken in society or in our thought process when we believe that we don’t deserve to create change, because we should just be grateful for what we have. That’s the only way we should be able to create changes if we’re absolutely miserable. What’s wrong with that? Do you know that you spend more hours working in your life than you do anything else. And I can think honestly of nothing sadder than wasting such a significant portion of your life dragging yourself to a job that’s just okay. That you like parts but you don’t like other parts, that you feel like there must be something more or that you wish that you had more flexibility, or more passion behind the work that you do. Any of those reasons alone are enough to make a change. You don’t need to be in a circumstance where you are absolutely miserable, completely burned out and drowning. You can just look at a circumstance and want more you can feel unfulfilled or and passionate about what you’re doing. And you can enjoy parts of your job and not other parts. Right. You know, one of the biggest things I see that creates issues, as I mentioned is these patterns or these beliefs that we have that suggest that there’s only one way to be successful in life there. is only one way to achieve and in my opinion, being able to unravel that and start to see actually that you could be successful in many ways that there isn’t just one way to do that is huge. Because the belief systems that we form our you know, grew up with that our society pushes on us, that tell us that there’s only one way to do things. It’s the handcuffs that keep us hustling and grinding, or frustrated, it’s the place where we get caught in analysis paralysis, instead of actually taking action. It’s the weight in our backpack that keeps us from moving with ease. It’s the scarcity mindset that holds us back from actually seeing the gold hidden in plain sight. Because we believe that there isn’t enough for us. It’s conforming to other people’s opinions and to what they think you quote unquote, should do. It’s conforming to what society expects is the norm. And it’s what keeps us chasing answers from other people, instead of actually learning how to be more of who we are, how to quote unquote, play our own game, how to live life on our terms in the way that we work best and asking for what it is that we actually want. This is such a profoundly important topic. Because there comes a point in time in everyone’s lives when they realize they got everything that they wanted. But it doesn’t feel like success to them. And the question is whether at that point, you decide to compromise, tell yourself that you don’t deserve it, that you should just be grateful that you need to suck it up. Or you recognize that it’s an opportunity for growth, it’s an opportunity to redefine how you look at success. And to recognize that there’s more than one way to get there. And that perhaps some of the things that you’re doing are actually really misaligned with what you value, how you want to build your life, how you naturally work, what your real dream is, and it’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to have gone into a career or relationship, a circumstance and really, it was a fit at the time. But it no longer is, it’s okay to grow and challenge yourself to change. And it’s also okay to start to look at success outside of what you’ve been taught, or what you’ve seen. No, I was taught and ingrained so much from parents who, you know, passed on the lessons to me that they learned from their corporate experience, things like keeping your work and your personal life separate.

Blake Schofield 7:29 Right, things like not being vulnerable, I was told so many times in my corporate career that it was not okay to be emotional. And yet, that’s my greatest gift, my ability to tap into emotion, feel it for other people show up and express my passion and energy and enable and empower others to take action against theirs. There are so many things that we’ve been told in life about what success quote unquote, looks like. But it’s not really something you have to take on unless you choose to. And so the open loop I want to leave you today with is what have you been taught about how success has to look? What have you been taught about what that path has to look like? Or what you should do? And what about that maybe is no longer serving you? What about that is keeping you stuck? What about that is having you second guess what it is that you really want for your life, because that’s where the power begins, when we begin to realize that life isn’t black or white, it’s a lot of shades of grey, that there isn’t just one way to do things, there’s a multitude of ways of which you can be successful and create the life that you want. And that ultimately, the path to fulfillment starts with really defining and understanding what you want, and then being empowered to go create it. So thanks again for joining me today. I hope you have a fabulous week ahead and I look forward to seeing you again next week. Until then have a great one.

Blake Schofield 9:06
Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead!