From Stress to Harmony: Regulating Your Nervous System with Guest Expert Kristin Svets

Ep: 247

Do you want to feel more peace and calm in your life, but it feels like there’s just too much to do and too many distractions? 

Does it feel like there’s just never enough time?

The truth is that inner peace isn’t about finding more time.

It’s about being more present. 

And you already have all the tools you need to achieve this right now.

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment®, Blake welcomes Certified Professional Coach, Kristin Svets. She is an author and spiritual life coach, facilitating restoration and evolution for high-achieving women so that they can bridge the gap between outer success and inner peace.

In this episode, you’ll learn how breathwork and simple mindfulness exercises can actually rewire and regulate your nervous system, creating less stress and more ease in your life. You’ll hear how physical and emotional triggers manifest in your body and mind, and how you can learn to be less reactive in these moments. You’ll learn simple ways to become more present, and how small changes can lead to big shifts and ultimately, more fulfillment.

What You’ll Learn:

  • How a small shift in perspective can lead to big changes (5:23)
  • Understanding how your nervous system is affecting you (9:38)
  • Changing the way you breathe to create more calm (13:47)
  • Mindfulness practices you can tap into now (20:30)
  • Healing through the power of sound (28:31)

 Favorite Quotes:

  1. “When you can really connect to yourself from an inner standpoint, then you can change the outer to create the life that you want.” – Blake
  2. “Sometimes we just need those little perspective shifts that open up a whole world of how we can step into personal growth and how we can step into fulfilling our own cup.” – Kristin
  3. “We talk about wanting more time in our lives. It’s often really not time, it’s presence. We have to be present with the people that we love, we have to feel like we can enjoy them without having to worry about what’s coming next.” – Blake
  4.  “When you implement these tiny little changes, your nervous system starts to allow you to pause instead of reacting.” – Kristen

Additional Resources: 

Connect with Kristin Svets:
Visit her website at www.kristinsvets.com
Find her on instagram https://www.instagram.com/kristinsvetscoaching/
Sign up for exclusive access to her Free 3-episode private podcast series, “Launch with Confidence: Empowering Moms as Kids Fly the Nest.” https://www.kristinsvets.com/privatepodcast
Read her book: “Designed to Shine: Living Intentionally to Discover Your Inner Light.” https://www.kristinsvets.com/book

For programs and opportunities to work with Blake, go to www.BlakeSchofield.com

Transcript

Kristin Svets 0:01
People try to interpret that they’re in control, right? And they’re trying to figure it out with their mind. And there’s beauty in that. But it is our body and our nervous system that is actually running the show. It is our subconscious mind that is controlling all of it. And our nervous system is the first regulator with that. And what is fascinating and beautiful about the human body is that we actually do have the tools to regulate our own nervous system at any point in time.

Blake Schofield 0:46
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment®. Mom to three, USA Today Top 10 Professional Coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand perspectives to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment®.

Blake Schofield 0:45
On today’s episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment®, I’m interviewing Kristin Svets. She’s an author, spiritual life coach, meditation teacher, and sound healer. She facilitates restoration and evolution for high-achieving women, so they can bridge the gap between outer success and inner peace. She’s a mom of two boys in college and is very passionate about empowering moms through the stage of kids flying the nest. As a lifelong learner, Kristin holds an MBA in finance, is a certified professional coach, and has over 700 hours of training in sound healing, breathwork, meditation, and yoga. Her broad experiences include a decade in the corporate world, unexpected and then embrace time as a stay at home mom, and then entrepreneurship for the last several years. I’m excited for you to hear a little bit about her personal journey and how a few small changes in your life can help you regulate your nervous system, which will enable you to be more present your life, have less emotional or physical triggers to the challenges coming through your life, to feel more peaceful, more ease, and ultimately to achieve more fulfillment in your life. So with that said, Here’s Kristen.

Blake Schofield 2:32
Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment®. I’m really excited to have my guest Kristin Svets on with us today. And with that said, I’m gonna dive in and let her share a little bit about her journey and her story. I’m so excited for you guys to have an opportunity to learn from her today. Welcome, Kristin.

Kristin Svets 2:52
Thank you, Blake, I’m so happy to be here and to talk to your audience about all things from nervous system regulation to how that really impacts our life. Right, the whole journey of going through from our corporate journeys to our parenting journeys and just midlife and really figuring out this piece of we’re always striving for outer success. And what is that missing link to bring us back home to ourselves and find inner peace.

Blake Schofield 3:25
I love that so much. I think that certainly was my journey. I spent 18 years in corporate America hoping by going through cycles of fulfillment and unfulfillment and hoping the next job, the next company, the next promotion would finally make me happy, only to really realize that it was the inner journey that was a solve for it all. And when you can really connect to yourself from an inner standpoint, then you can change the outer to create the life that you want. So I am excited to hear your journey, you’ve had quite a variety in terms of your career, can you just share a little bit with the audience about who you are and what your journey has been that’s led you to what it is that you really teach and help people with today?

Kristin Svets 4:07
I also started in corporate, I spent almost a decade in corporate banking. And similarly to you, you know, some of that was very fulfilling and fun. And a lot of it was overwhelming and stressful. And then I went through the stage of life of getting married and having kids and going through that like difficult decision of am I going to be the corporate mom, or am I going to be the stay at home mom and I actually went back and forth on it for those first few years of my kid’s life. And then we moved across the country for my husband’s job. And that was pretty devastating because I was 36 years old and the kids were foreign too. So at the time I was like I have to get back into the corporate world. Now, had just gotten back in in our hometown and I really wanted to get back in. And the world had different plans for me because it was 2007, 2008. So Corporate Banking had, was not in a good place for hiring. So I was like, Okay, I am gonna do the stay at home mom thing for a while, like, maybe my job is to get settled.

Kristin Svets 5:13
But I was sad, right? Like that was a really hard time to be 36 years old and move across the country, leave your family and friends. And I had this beautiful little moment when I was feeling sorry for myself at a park when I was with my two and four year old. And a man walked by and just said, like, oh, what beautiful little companions you have, right? They’re like, oh, like I really started crying in the moment of secure, right, I do have these little companions. And it actually opened up my eyes to the fact that sometimes we just need those little perspective shifts that opened up a whole world of how we can step into personal growth and how we can step into fulfilling our own cut. Because I had made a choice. I was happily married, I wanted to be with my husband and be with my kids. So I had made the choice to move. And I think it’s an interesting thing. Because, yes, you’re allowed to grieve. And I think it’s really important to allow yourself to be sad when you’re going through sad moments. And it’s so powerful to learn how to shift your mindset, and shift the energy that goes with that in your body and your nervous system regulation.

Kristin Svets 6:36
So that little moment started me down a path of a deep personal growth journey that then opened me up into meditation, teacher training. I’ve always loved yoga, but it was really the meditation part of it that I was like, Oh, this is fascinating. This is a really cool journey within and that has opened up creativity in me, where I decided to start writing and become an author. And more recently, that’s taken me into even deeper nervous system regulation with things like breathwork, and sound healing. And these modalities are so powerful, because it allows you to move away from that state of stress and anxiety and overwhelm and keeping up with this constant pace of change that we’re in. And it lets you find this clarity. And it lets you hear your own inner voice and your own inner wisdom. And that opens up a whole nother world.

Blake Schofield 7:39
I know that to be so true. It’s, I always think it’s fascinating. We you know, it’s that old adage man plans, but God leads our steps or leads our path, your journey started with a random stranger. And a very simple comment, right, and it was an activation moment for you that then set off the course of your journey. You know, when I started my entrepreneurial career, it was really, after what I call the breakdown moment when you’re just like, I can’t do this anymore. And I was willing that while I was no longer willing to tolerate the life that I had been living and the sacrifice I had been making for my career on my health, my family, my life, my time, and I had no idea as I started this journey, that it would be a personal development and honestly spiritual journey. Never saw that, never anticipated it.

Blake Schofield 8:29
And I’m really excited for you to talk about the nervous system, what are signs that your nervous system is deregulated, or misregulated? And then what can you do about that? Because this journey for me has been really interesting, especially the last two years as I had an opportunity to step into some of what you’re talking about breathwork, meditation, sound baths, things that expanded my perspective about how to be more present in the moment. And through that journey, you can begin to see how much of your life you’ve lived in fight or flight, how much your nervous system is out of whack. But if it is your normal, I think often you don’t even understand that that’s potentially a challenge that’s literally impacting every day, every moment of your life, and certainly your health in some pretty detrimental ways. So I’m interested to hear your perspective on how can you help people understand the nervous system and what that impact might look like? And how to be able to gauge where they’re at in that journey of like, in my regulated with my nervous system, or if I’m not, what would it look like?

Kristin Svets 9:34
Yes, that’s such a beautiful question. Because truly, people try to interpret that they’re in control, right? And they’re trying to figure it out with their mind. And there’s beauty in that. But it is our body and our nervous system that is actually running the show. It is our subconscious mind that is controlling all of it, and our nervous system is the first regulator with that. And what is fascinating and beautiful about the human body is that we actually do have the tools to regulate our own nervous system at any point in time. And that really does start with our breath. So before we get into the breath, let’s chat a little bit about how our mind is working. We have something like 70,000 to 90,000 thoughts a day. I don’t know how the scientists measure that. But that’s the stat. And more than 75% of them are repetitive, subconscious thoughts. So that is why when we set new year’s resolutions, when we seek out a new diet plan, we have all these cognitive thoughts of “Yes, I want to change, I want to do better in this area in my life, I want to be healthier, I want to have better relationships”. And we can start and we get all the feedback of like, Oh, there’s the, you know, you need to repeat the habit for 21 days or repeat it for 60 days, or you know, there’s all different scientific studies that show when that kicks in, and then we beat ourselves up. And we have shame when we go back into our old patterns. And that is our nervous system, that is creating a sense of safety, because we are biologically created to survive.

Kristin Svets 11:35
So our nervous system and our brain with those subconscious thoughts, is just our whole primal system at work. And it is trying to make sure the whole, you know, back in the caveman days that we had to run from a tiger, that’s where that fight or flight kicks in. And back in the day, that was only necessary, every so often, right. And today, we’re having that response to all the stressful emails, to all the stressful news, to all the stressful family sickness things, we are overwhelmed with the amount of information coming at us that our nervous system was not built to handle. That part of evolution didn’t keep up. So we actually all need nervous system regulation, even if we think that we don’t, because the other part of that that I find fascinating that I actually deal more with than the fight or flight. And this actually goes back to like different childhood experiences, what your nervous system is doing. So fight or flight is a lot of times that you’re needing to prove yourself or you saw, this is how you build success and we have to fight for it, we have to do all of these things. And of course flight is get out of here. But the freeze and fawn piece of it is also really fascinating, because that affects people.

Kristin Svets 12:58
So my story is I came from an interesting home that held both. I had a lot, one parent had a lot of anger management issues, a short period of violence issues, but my parents always stayed together. And there was a lot of religion and spirituality and love. So it was a very interesting balance. But my nervous system only knows freeze. And so that response is hide, hide, hide. And so people dealing with procrastination and perfectionism are often in a freeze mode. And there’s a million reasons why. So then that brings us back to the breath. Because no matter what your nervous system is doing to keep you safe, that is on repeat from your childhood. You have the power right now, right in this minute, to change from our automatic breath. Because our beautiful body is doing it for us to the deep, slow, six count inhale, and six count exhale, that starts at the base of your belly. Or you can think about it the base of your spine and bringing it up your spine and bringing it down your spine. And just shifting to counting to six for an inhale and exhale turns on your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the other side of our nervous system that calms us down.

Kristin Svets 14:31
And we always have access to that it’s right there at our fingertips. And it’s so interesting that we aren’t taught that, because it changes the chemicals in our body and allows us to feel safe. And sidenote, that I saw lovely news that the school system in New York City is starting to add breathwork to their curriculum. And I think that’s so beautiful, because it is what we need in the society that we’re in now. The reason that it feels so heavy and stressful is yes, number one it is because it’s coming at us at a pace that we’ve never had before. Which means all of us have dysregulated nervous systems. And the more we are intentional with showing up for ourselves and deciding to take two minutes of slow breathing. Before a big presentation before you start your day in the bathroom, if there’s enough stress in the house, just giving yourself that gift of a couple of moments of deep breathing, will really start to shift everything else. That’s where the mindset opens up to happier perspectives. That’s where your ability to meditate and do other things that allow you to grow, really opens up. It’s such a gift to really nourish yourself through nervous system work.

Blake Schofield 15:58
Yeah, it’s an interesting thing. I think a lot of people who need this work maybe the most like it’s that are really unaware of it. Some of the signs that I had, that I’ve seen with a lot of the clients that I’ve worked with were these are signs and symptoms that you are dysregulated, right, is inability to be quiet for 30 seconds, maybe, without your brain constantly going in you feeling anxiety or stress that you have a to do list, you have things to do that is a really, really clear sign. Yeah, perfectionism, procrastination, a feeling of anxiety, the inability to kind of just sit and be still triggers emotional triggers, or feeling physical or emotional triggers when things happen. Like, I think often, I’ve seen this come to play, say you’re at work and you get a brand new boss, and you feel like this new boss, and you aren’t really getting along and you go into a panic, right? Feel it in your body. That is also a sign, right, of your nervous system reacting in that way. And I wish that I totally agree with you, I wish that this was something that was taught very early on, I think it’s sort of been seen as very like alternative are gonna go woowoo, when really it’s science, it’s really being able to understand that as a society we’ve been taught, just think about it, use your brain and figure it out. But the logical part of your brain drives about 5% of your decision making.

Blake Schofield 17:19
But I see most people are spending 70% or more of their time in that logical part of the brain, over and over and over and over and over. And that part’s never going to win, your subconscious is always going to win, your body is always going to win. And being able to understand that there are some very simple ways to begin to learn how to shift your system, to learn how to deal with the stressors or challenges in your life opens up a lot of peace and ease and more presence. And I think when we talk about wanting more time in our lives, it’s often really not time, I think a lot of people saw that during COVID, where they had a lot of time, right? It’s really not time, it’s presence. We have to be present with the people that we love, we have to be present in those moments and feel like we can enjoy them without having to worry about what’s coming next. And so I’m really excited that you’re going to share a little bit about how can you learn some simple techniques to start to regulate your nervous system and leverage these things. Because it often gives us the very things that we are seeking, we just often are seeking them with band aids as opposed to things that will actually help us.

Kristin Svets 18:29
Yes, I love that. It’s a, was such a perfect way to explain it. We spend so much of our lives seeking outside success. And we chase and we chase and we chase. And that fulfillment is never there because there’s not an end game because our nervous system is always asking for more. And so this whole concept of presence is so impactful, because it is little tiny changes that you make. And when you do that, you’ll start to see the ripple effect. That yes, you learn to take two minutes for yourself to deep breathe, you take some mindfulness practices that’ll go through that allow you to pause. And if you are the person that is always running that can’t sit still, if you can’t stay for Srivasa and yoga class, right? There’s always somebody like getting up there and bolting out of the room. And my heart breaks for that person because I know what’s going on. There’s too much they’ve got to do all of the things. And when you implement these tiny little changes, your nervous system starts to allow you to pause instead of reacting because we’re going through life with so much reaction. And so when you have this presence for your family, for the job that you thought would be fulfilling and then you’re overwhelmed. And it’s not. There’s a lot that can happen behind that story. But what if it is what you wanted. And it’s that you are not present with yourself because your system is so overrun and stress, and overwhelm, and anxiety. And you can take these little practices and create some space and be like, Oh, this is actually going so much better than what I had been thinking it happened.

Kristin Svets 20:30
So a couple of my favorite mindfulness practices is paying attention when you go on a walk. So hopefully, your listeners have heard of nature bathing, if they have not, it’s often in retreat centers, you know, you go on a personal development retreat, a spiritual retreat, and you can often find nature bathing, but I believe it’s become so common, that there are often people locally who will host this. But you can also do it yourself. The concept is actually a concept that originated in Japan. And they made it a part of their national health and wellbeing system in the 80s. And it’s that when you step outside, and you go for a walk, you’re not listening to the podcast, or not listening to music, those are fun and have their place. And I love both of those things. Also, his nervous system regulation, especially music, by the nature bathing piece is to go on a quiet, walk, and even give it the spin of the happiness hunt. And so while you are out walking, you go through your five senses. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you taste? And what do you feel. And so feeling that air as you’re walking, seeing the beautiful colors of the leaves or flowers as they bloom, listening to the birds chirping, when you give yourself just five minutes of your walk, and then you can get back to your podcast, which yes, we want them listening to this podcast on their walk. But when you give yourself that practice of being in touch with nature, allowing nature to actually nourish your nervous system, because that’s such an important part of being in nature as well. But you’re also giving yourself a break. And you’re teaching yourself to see all these things to really involve your senses. Because we don’t do that. So it’s just this great, intentional practice to be present.

Kristin Svets 22:40
And it might feel silly in the moment, definitely feel silly the first time you do it. But that relays over to the next time you’re with your family, instead of being so stressed out that the kids are being too loud, or parents are driving you crazy or whatever, that you can go through the five senses because you practice it on the walk and you can step back, and you can really look into your child’s eyes, and you can really hear the laughter and you can really see even the love in the room amongst the stress and chaos, right. So you’re teaching your nervous system, and you learn how to implement that into the everyday. And that is a part of elevating presence, it is a part of coming home to yourself, and really the divine within you. And it’s just a beautiful thing to do. Another practice that I love that is very similar is to do that with your coffee or your tea or your favorite drink. And when you’re taking your first sip of it, like to actually use all your senses first to see it, like look at the color, to smell it, to taste it, to feel it before you swallow it. And then just to even hear around you as you do that. And you can tie that in with gratitude and elevate the experience of you know, I drink my morning coffee every day without even thinking about it. But there are coffee farmers who grew this coffee. And there are coffee roasters who brought this to me. And when you give yourself that gift of just training your brain to get out of the stress of your world and step into gratitude for how your present moment happened. It elevates all these different areas of your life because you’ve calmed your nervous system.

Blake Schofield 24:37
Awesome. Awesome. I love it. You mentioned earlier that you wrote a book. Can you share a little bit about the book and what somebody might learn in it?

Kristin Svets 24:46
Yes. So the book was a fun part of my personal development journey. It is I would call it a spiritual life coaching book with some poetry mixed in. And the journey for me and that is that when I turned 50, I made a bucket list. I was like, “Okay, what have I not done that I really want to do.” And I challenged myself to write out 100 things. But that would be it was hard to get to 100. And then I narrowed it down to like, “Oh, what are the 10 that I really want to make happen.” And I was surprised that a book was one of them. Because I actually wouldn’t say that I’ve spent my life being a writer. But there was this inner voice that I was choosing to listen to. That was like, I wanted to create my own little legacy, I wanted to have my thoughts and my words and my creativity out in the world. So I started going down the publishing journey. And I also have decided to give myself the permission slip, to just self publish. That is this amazing gift of the time that we live in. And publishing requires approval from a lot of outside people, right, you have to find the right agent. And then you have to get the publishing house to approve you. And in today’s day and age that also requires like minimum followers and all of those things. And I was like, “Oh, you know what, I actually want to prove to myself and to my family, and then to anyone who is inspired by my journey, that we can give ourselves the permission slip to do that.” So I did.

Kristin Svets 24:46
And it did take me a while. There was a lot of personal development that I had to go through to get out of my own way, the ways that I would hold myself back. I had to dive deeper into my own personal development work. The first section, my book ended up being really like a body, mind, and soul, three section book with a fourth section of poetry. But the first section for body was all of the things that I’m talking about right now of breathwork, and meditation, and gratitude, and journaling. And I wrote that early on. And I had to do all of that continually to get myself to really follow through. And I’ll give myself that permission to really let this come to life. So my book is called Designed to Shine, Live Intentionally to Discover Your Inner Light. So exactly what we are saying in this conversation, is that it takes intention, it’s not just going to happen that we reach the point of happiness that we reach the point of success. We want to really look at and take the time to reflect on who we are, in this moment. How can we be present in this moment, because all of these practices do open up beautiful possibilities and visualizations of what the future can be. But all of that is actually about us stepping into our personal power right now. And we’re the only ones that hold the key to our personal power. So that is really the message of the book is we all have a light to shine. And we’re the ones that have to give ourselves permission to do just that.

Blake Schofield 28:13
I love that so much. This has been such a great conversation. Kristin, I know I need to wrap up pretty shortly. But I want to make sure and ask you, is there anything I should have asked you that I didn’t? Or anything that’s just on your heart that you want to share with the audience?

Kristin Svets 28:28
Yes, the one last thing that I would say is that’s another piece of what I really love in doing my work is sound meditations, sound healings, sound bath. Sound, I really believe is such an important part of our nervous system regulation. There are some that say it’s the future of medicine, that vibration and energy is so impactful. And I’m a huge proponent. It’s a huge part of my business and my work. And I like talking about breathwork because that’s so easy for anyone to do on their own, but know that sound healing opens up this door. So if one of your listeners is like I can’t meditate, I never remember to do breath work. It’s just too hard. I don’t have the time. To make the time to go to a sound bath or even find when I need to, there’s some beautiful ones on YouTube. Come follow me on Instagram. To give yourself the gift of listening to these beautiful instruments that are various bowls and chimes and ocean wave drums and flutes and all of these things that change your brainwave states for you, that is such a gift to nourish your nervous system. So yeah, I just wanted to share that. That it’s such a fabulous tool and I encourage everyone to look into sound bath.

Blake Schofield 30:01
Hmm. Thank you for that. Yeah, I have come to really appreciate the impact of that. I think there’s so much from an Eastern standpoint, that has not made it to the west, that has been proven for generation after generation after generation. That’s really, really powerful. And like I said, I think for those of you listening, who were like, I don’t know about all this. Listen, I was there with you a couple years ago. And I can tell you it is revolutionized my life in so many ways. And so I encourage you, we’ll have things in the show notes, so you can follow Kristin and learn more, get her book, if you would like check out her Instagram, if you want to experience some of what this is like. It’s truly an amazing thing, when you start to realize you don’t have to turn your whole life over in order to create change. It can be very small things that you do consistently on a daily basis, over a period of time that can create exponential growth, possibility, and happiness for yourself. So with that said, Kristin, thank you so much for joining me. I really appreciate you sharing your personal journey, your experience ,and really your testimony for the power of these things and the impact it can make people’s lives.

Kristin Svets 31:10
Thank you so much for having me enlarge this conversation.