Drained and Stressed from ‘Doing it All’?: The Struggle & the Solution

Ep: 135

You work hard to perfect the act of juggling everything in your life and career. You try to be a great mom, a supportive spouse, a reliable friend, a helpful daughter, and a knowledgeable leader at work.

But sometimes, being on double, triple, even quadruple duty every day starts to take its toll. With little to no time for yourself, you wonder how much further you can bend, doing it all, until you break.

In today’s world, women continue to increase our responsibilities at work while simultaneously retaining responsibilities at home. With stress for women clocking in at 50% higher than men in the same age group, this “do-it-all” generation of women is starting to feel the strain.

Unless we demand better for ourselves, we’ll continue to be a part of the problem.

OR, we can choose to be part of the solution.

In today’s episode, Blake explores how the mounting duties of home and work-life compound, specifically in the lives of women. She reveals startling statistics about how this increasing level of responsibility is affecting our stress levels and overall health before diving into a discussion on how taking the reins and making the decision to invest in yourself is not only the solution to regaining control, but it’s also the path to clarity and ultimately, a happier, more fulfilling life for you and your family.

What You’ll Learn:

  • How your life and career impact one another (4:09)
  • Taking control of the reins and reclaiming your time (5:34)
  • Making the decision to invest in yourself (8:22)
  • How women just like you have created more fulfilling lives and careers (12:40)

Favorite Quotes:

  1. We feel responsible for making sure our team has what they need, that we’re supporting them, making sure they’re developed, and they feel valuable. And then, at the end of the day, there’s little to nothing left for us. And this inherently is part of the problem.
  2. What is happening at your job impacts your life and what’s happening in your life impacts your job.
  3. If you find yourself overstressed, stretched for time, wishing and dreaming about taking a vacation just to get a break, then it’s time to take the reins back in your life. It’s time to reclaim your time, your energy, and your mind!
  4. If you find yourself longing for more time to work out, take care of yourself, spend with your kids, do things with friends, or for the community, or you just want more peace of mind and energy at the end of the day, know that the solution starts with you.

Additional Resources:

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is.

We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes


Blake Schofield 0:00 Hello, and welcome back to today’s episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment. We are talking about stress, lack of time. And really the struggle as well as the solution. You know, as women we’ve achieved a lot in the last 50 years, but that success is really coming at a major cost. Still, with stress levels and lack of time and an all time high. At times, it feels like we can’t bend much further until we’re going to break. There are examples everywhere of women just trying to keep it all going. And yet we seem to be working harder and harder to achieve a life of peace, fulfillment and connection. But are finding ourselves drained and exhausted doing it all. Today’s topics a big one. But I’m really excited to dive in. You know, we’ve been given the image that a successful life is doing it all. And impactful job where you’re moving up in your career, kids are doing well in school and involved in activities, a nice house car ability to go on vacations. And yet, this do it all generation is feeling the strain, with working women today far more stressed than men. In fact, according to statistics from the Health and Safety Executive group, women aged 35 to 54, who are likely juggling many roles, including mother care, care for elderly parents, homemaker and sometimes breadwinner, are experiencing significantly higher stress than men. In fact, they’re saying work related stress is 50% higher for women than it is for men in the same age, because women have taken on more responsibilities at work while retaining our responsibilities at home. And, you know, some of the biggest causes of the stress in our work is our workload, tight deadlines, too much pressure, too much work and responsibility. And it’s making us sick. In fact, stress accounted for about 35% of work related people being ill, or out of work, right. So we know their struggles all around us. And if you’re listening to this, you’re probably in that struggle, or have been in that struggle yourself. And here’s the hard part, right, we get joy from helping and caring for other people. When we’re away from our family, we want to do work that makes a difference helps others where we feel valued and energized to get up and go to every day. At home, we want to be present in our family’s lives. You want to cheer our kids on, help them figure out who they want to be, and celebrate the big and little moments. And at work, we feel responsible for making sure our team has what they need, that we’re supporting them, making sure they’re developed, and they feel valuable. And then at the end of the day, there’s little to nothing left for us. And this inherently is part of the problem. We live in a fast paced world where technology has made everything feel like it’s 24 seven, but we have not upgraded our skills, boundaries, mindset or habits to catch up. And as a result, we feel burned out drained and at the mercy of our demanding jobs, obligations and desires for more. The struggle is real. But we have far more ability to create change in our lives than we believe. And that doesn’t mean by just changing your circumstances, hoping it will be better. I think this is a cycle we consistently get into believing that a better boss, company or job will give us better balance and the ability to turn work off that when that next project or this next thing passes that things will get easier. And here’s what I want you to know, here’s what I’ve learned, circumstances absolutely contribute. But if you find that you’ve been struggling with cycles of stress, burnout, or work, bleeding into your life, than just changing your circumstances alone will not fix the issue. It’s why what we do here at the bridge to fulfillment, I would lovingly describe as a mix of career and life coaching. Because what is happening at your job impacts your life. And what’s happening in your life impacts your job, despite sometimes what it might feel like inside companies that don’t get it. We aren’t robots, right. I also learned this because personally, I saw how just changing my circumstances, whether it was consistently moving companies and moving cross country or ultimately the largest move I made leaving corporate america and starting my own business. I saw those same patterns and challenges follow me and I wasn’t actually getting the results I wanted which was a more sane life, peace of mind. Right the ability to be able to get work off and to do work that was really meaningful. I was able to solve some of those problems, but not all.

Blake Schofield 5:01 Why? Because I was part of the problem. But the good good news meant that I was also part of the solution. And I would challenge you that you are as well. So if you find yourself overstretch, stretch overstressed. So if you find yourself overstressed stretched for time wishing and dreaming about taking a vacation just to get a break, then it’s time to take the reins back in your life, it’s time to reclaim your time, your energy and your mind. And it starts with recognizing that there are gaps of knowledge, skills, or tools that can help you truly get what it is that you want. And that starts with investing in yourself. And it starts with investing in yourself to fill in the gaps, learn the skills, habits and shifts necessary to create the life you want. In our society, we’re trained to think about investing in our children and their education. We spend money for daycare for our kids to join sports teams, for college. We invest money in our homes, our new cell phones, and our cars. But we don’t realize that we are missing out on the most important investment, the one that will give you the highest return on investment, the one that will truly enable you to create the life you want, as opposed to just buy more stuff that after you have, it doesn’t really make you happy. And that’s investing in yourself. By investing in yourself, you will also be investing in others, because it will allow you to show up as the mom, boss, co worker, daughter, sister, wife, career woman and friend that you want to be how do I know? Well, I want to share with you a little bit about my personal journey in investing, what I’ve learned, and how I’ve watched how investing in yourself, you’re more return on investment than anything else. You know, I spent 18 years in corporate retail really growing and developing and building skills. But aside from college really had not invested in myself in that entire 18 years. Until I got to a place where I had left corporate America, I was about six months into my year plan to be able to, you know, replace a portion of my income and have better balance in my life. And what became really clear was the trajectory that I was on was not going to get me where I wanted to go. It was not sustainable. Financially, it wasn’t sustainable. Emotionally, it wasn’t sustainable. I felt lost. I needed a plan. And I didn’t have one. I was spending a lot of time researching and trying to find the right answers. And I was completely overwhelmed. I just really did not know what the right next steps were. And it was in that timeframe that I realized that I had gaps and skills I needed to learn. And then I needed a mentor to be able to help me get there. that very first decision to invest in myself was one of the most challenging of the last four years. Because I wasn’t used to it. I hadn’t thought about investing in myself before. And even though I recognize that college was an amazing investment, even though I saw the courses and things I taken in my career that had helped me grow were amazing investments. Even though I had had amazing mentors in my career who had taught me so much and enabled me really to grow in my career. I wasn’t connecting the dots between investing in myself personally and those experiences and so I’ll never forget having a conversation with my husband when I went to him and I said I think I found the right mentors to help me. But it’s a lot of money and what if I’m not successful, what if this doesn’t work? And you know what if I end up worse off and I’ll never forget my husband talking to me about how we invest in things all the time without even thinking about it. If you have a 401k if you have stock in the stock market, you’re investing in companies that you have almost no control over how that money has grown or built. And you’re hoping for an eight or 10% return on that money.

Blake Schofield 9:37 And my husband said to me I know you I know you’re you will be successful to anything that you put your mind to because you always have been and I know if you believe in this, you will show up and do the work and you will get the results. And I know that investing in yourself will yield the the most significant ROI you’ll ever have. And it was through my husband’s faith in myself that I chose to invest in me, and ultimately, I ended up investing, and so much more than just me. But at the time, I thought it was just me because I didn’t realize the impact that not investing in myself was actually having on my kids, my marriage, my relationships, the impact I could make. Since then, I’ve invested over $250,000, working with 18 different coaches and consultants. And it rolls off my tongue in a way because it’s my life. But you’re probably right now very shocked, and I would have been very shocked years ago, as well, I would have told you, I would have never done anything like that, it seemed crazy. And yet I can tell you, the reason I’ve continued to invest in myself, is because I’ve continued to get incredible return on investment. And every time I invest in myself, I’m really clear on what that goal is, and why I’m why I’m doing it. And it has enabled me to achieve things in my life, personally, to achieve things professionally. And to see that ripple effect. across all of the people I’ve been able to attach in ways I never thought were possible. And so if today you find yourself successful on paper, but not really leading the life you want. If you find yourself longing for more time to work out, take care of yourself, spend with your kids, do things with friends, or further community, or you just want more peace of mind and energy at the end of the day. Know that the solution starts with you. And recognizing that you don’t have to know all the answers. But if what you’re doing isn’t working for you, that you’re not a victim, that you have the ability to create that change in your life. And that you can seek the answers from an expert who’s already been there and done that, and can help you uncover the shifts tools, knowledge and skills that you need to gain in your life. In order to truly feel empowered to create a life that you love every single day, I can think of nothing more important than that. Oftentimes, we think it has to come at a sacrifice. But I want you to know it doesn’t. That is such a misnomer. And it comes from again, lacking the knowledge, skills and tools to truly create the life you want. And if you’re a new listener, and you haven’t listened to many of the stories, I really encourage you. I interview a lot of my clients on this podcast because I want to be able to help show you what’s truly possible for your career and for your life. And so if you haven’t listened to many of my clients success stories, I really encourage you. The way that you’ll know it’s a client success story is it will have the woman’s name in the title. And it will be something like Blake’s story or Blake’s journey. Any of those that you see, I encourage you listen, listen to their journey, listen to their story. What do you hear in their story that reminds you of yours. And then look at where their life is today. And understand that they got there by choosing to realize that asking for help, is one of the most responsible and strongest things that they could do. That investing themselves to gain the knowledge, skills and tools to create the life they want is the best investment that they could ever make. And for those of you guys who have been around and have been listening to the podcast for a while, thank you so much. I appreciate you. Hopefully you knew this about the client success stories. But if not, I encourage you. Right, listen in, get inspired. But don’t just get inspired, take action. Because if you’re here listening to this today, it’s because your life isn’t the way you want it to be. And I want you to know you hold the power to creating that change. But it starts with realizing you don’t have all the answers. And number two, recognizing right, that you and everyone that you love and care about right deserve and will greatly benefit by you investing in yourself in ways today you probably can’t even imagine. Thanks again for joining me on another episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment. I hope you have a fabulous week ahead and I look forward to seeing you again next week.