The Illusions Keeping You from Your Dreams

Ep: 255

Do you wake up most mornings feeling like you’re just going through the motions, as though you don’t have control over the life you’re living?

You need to make money to have security, so you spend a huge chunk of your life at a job you don’t enjoy.

You fear what might happen to your bank account or lifestyle if you take a step back to learn what truly makes you happy.

You feel like life presents you with more obstacles than opportunities.

But what if those obstacles were the opportunities, and you’ve just been viewing them through the wrong lens? 

Today on The Bridge to FulfillmentⓇ, Blake shares how the fears we hold onto reveal the true nature of our beliefs. When you dare to seek out the reality that hides behind your beliefs, the possibilities for joy and happiness are all around you.

In this episode, you’ll learn why the beliefs you hold onto are keeping you stuck in a life that lacks joy and fulfillment. You’ll hear how fears around money, stability, and security affect our choices, and how to reframe challenges to create space for big opportunities. You’ll learn how to take back control of your circumstances and see clearly that life isn’t something that’s happening to you, it’s happening for you.

What You’ll Learn:

  • The truth about reality and your beliefs (2:25)
  • How money affects the way we live our lives (4:14)
  • Why hard times equal big opportunities (5:26)
  • The first step toward creating a life of joy and peace (7:19)
  • Experiencing life as an adventure where you’re in control (9:26)

Favorite Quotes:

  1. “If you believe that you are unworthy, you will create outcomes that make you feel that way. If you believe that life is unfair or that it has to be hard or painful. If you believe that you have to work a lot of hours in order to make money, if you believe that you have no power to change the things that you want to change in your life, you will create those outcomes.”
  2. “I was so stuck in not understanding how to protect money as a resource and therefore that security is a resource, that I couldn’t see anything else. I couldn’t see that there was abundant opportunity for me, I couldn’t see that. I had tremendous skills that could be used in different ways. I could only see the obstacles.”
  3. “Life is always teaching us lessons. The question is, are we listening and are we learning them.”
  4. “Life really is a beautiful, endearing adventure, and the places in your life that don’t feel like what you want, those aren’t the obstacles. They’re not the things happening to you. They are the possibilities and the opportunities. They’re the place to grow.”

Additional Resources: 

For programs and opportunities to work with Blake, go to www.BlakeSchofield.com

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:05
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment®. Mom to three, USA Today Top 10 Professional Coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand perspectives to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment®.

Blake Schofield 0:38
What if everything you believe to be true, wasn’t. You know Socrates said, “The only true wisdom is a knowing you know nothing”. Mark Twain said something similar, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you believe for sure, that just ain’t so.

Blake Schofield 1:00
It was over seven years ago, as I sat in a corporate career that I had, done just about everything that I could to try and make it work, I believed that I only had a few choices. I believed I had to sacrifice my income or my lifestyle in order to do more fulfilling work and be happy. I believed that changing careers had to be difficult, had to be a lot of sacrifice. And I clung to the beliefs, the identity, and the life that I had led that was no longer making me happy. And for the last seven years, I’ve continued to help men and women be able to see what’s really truly possible for their lives and remove the misalignments and beliefs that have been standing in their way.

Blake Schofield 1:47
And so today, I’m going to share with you a really important lesson and just challenge you to see how it might apply in your life. Because here’s what I have come to know, not just for my own life, as I’ve transformed so much of my life in the last seven years, and now realize that 90% or so of what I used to believe, without a shadow of a doubt, was the truth, to now see that either those things weren’t true, or that I was able to replace those beliefs with far healthier, far more productive beliefs.

Blake Schofield 2:25
Reality as you see it, is never the full truth. Yep, you heard me right. The reality you believe that you are living in right now is a mirror of your belief systems. And the lessons that you are being given the opportunity to learn. If you believe that you are unworthy, you will create outcomes that make you feel that way. If you believe that life is unfair, or that it has to be hard, are painful; if you believe that you have to work a lot of hours in order to make money; if you believe that you have no power to change the things that you want to change in your life; you will create those outcomes.

Blake Schofield 3:16
Now, I don’t know how this is coming across to you. Often what I see is people kind of not know what to do with that or get angry. I remember the very first time, years ago, when I was talking with a friend about being really unhappy in my corporate career. And I’ll never forget this moment because it was so emotionally triggering to me, which was an opportunity for me to see a place to learn. Because if it hadn’t hit me emotionally, then there wasn’t an opportunity. And he said to me, the only reason that you’re stuck is because you value money more than your life, or whatever that might be. But it was basically an intimation that the reason I was trapped was because I was focused on money. And I was very angry about that, because I didn’t feel that it was about money, why I was stuck in my corporate career, I felt like it was there were no other opportunities. I felt like it would be huge risk for my family. I felt like I was giving up safety and security.

Blake Schofield 4:09
And all of those things were true. But there was also truth in what he was sharing. And that I was viewing money as safety and security. I was prioritizing that safety and security over my own health, my own happiness, my ability to be present in my life, my ability to be the type of mom that I wanted to be. And I was so stuck and not understanding how to protect money as a resource, and therefore that security is a resource that I couldn’t see anything else. I couldn’t see that there was abundant opportunity for me. I couldn’t see that I had tremendous skills that could be used in different ways. I could only see the obstacles.

Blake Schofield 4:49
And so because I was seeking the obstacles, because I believe they would be there, that’s what I found. I often say, that in life, you have to have pain to also have joy, right? But you don’t have to suffer. And I say that because most people in the world are suffering and they don’t even know that they are. Because it’s become so ingrained in their life that that just feels like that’s the way life is. But it doesn’t have to be. When we go through difficult times in life, it’s often the greatest opportunity for us, to learn the lessons that we are being given. And here’s the truth, as I see it over and over again, life is always teaching us lessons. The question is, are we listening? And are we learning them? Or are we looking like we are a victim in life is happening to us, and we have no control over it.

Blake Schofield 5:51
And if your lens is that you are a victim, and things happen to you, and you have no control, then you will continue to abdicate that control. You will not take the actions to create the life you want. But instead, if you look at what’s happening in your life is opportunity, as an opportunity to learn and remove things that are no longer serving you. As an opportunity to seek the good in whatever is coming your way. You become empowered to create the life that you want.

Blake Schofield 6:25
You know, I often talk about that. For all of us. It’s like we have been driving a car for 20 years cross country and we never got a carwash. And if you’ve ever taken a cross country trip, even if it’s like 10 hours across the country, you know at the end of that trip, your windshield is covered with bug guts and dirt and everything else, it’s really hard to see out of. So imagine doing that for 20 years, the amount of dirt and junk and how difficult it would be to see reality. And then everything that you saw from that windshield was covered with dirt and bug guts and whatever those belief systems and experiences were that you had had. And so when you looked out the window, you would see a very different reality than the truth.

Blake Schofield 7:19
One of the first things that is important and really being able to create a life of fulfillment and joy and peace and happiness is to open up and expand your perspective that the way that you view the world isn’t complete. That you have blind spots, that you have dirt on the windshield, that perhaps the way that you’ve been looking at the world is clouding your judgment and your ability to create what you want. We must start there first, we must begin to challenge that everything we believe to be true, might not be. That we might have blind spots, that there could be different opportunities or possibilities for us.

Blake Schofield 8:03
And part of that starts with looking at the lens of what you look at your life today. Do you get up every day and say, “I’m so thankful and grateful for this day. I’m blessed. Life is a beautiful, daring adventure of happiness and joy”? Or do you get up and dread going to work? Do you believe that it has to be hard and painful? Do you believe that you’re forced to do things you don’t want to do? Do you believe that you have to suffer or hustle and grind. Because all you’re seeing is a lens of what your belief systems are.

Blake Schofield 8:41
And unfortunately, most of us when we go through tough experiences in childhood, where you don’t have a sense of control, and you don’t fully understand what’s happening, we form these belief systems that things happen to us, and they’re hard and difficult and painful. And whatever we see as children, we believe is the entirety of the world. And we lock in those belief systems. And then we continue to live our life that way. Until we get to a place where, again, keep getting the lesson over and over again. We’re given an opportunity to actually see the world differently, to challenge the beliefs that are keeping us from truly living in our full potential and our happiest and most fulfilled lives.

Blake Schofield 9:27
And so today I want to share with you that life can and really is a beautiful and daring adventure and the places in your life that don’t feel like what you want. Those aren’t the obstacles. They’re not the things happening to you. They are the possibilities and the opportunities. They’re the place to grow. They’re the lessons are being shown as opportunities to heal and bring more joy fulfillment happiness, peace, alignment to your life.

Blake Schofield 10:06
All things come together for good. And if it doesn’t feel that way, then it’s an opportunity to challenge, what are the belief systems? What are the things that I am allowing to get in the way of me leading the most fulfilling, most happiest, most present life, career, that I want. They are the gifts that are showing you the opportunities in your life, to remove the areas of misalignment, to see the world differently, to see the places in your life where you can create better relationships with yourself and with others. More joy, more peace, more ease, more impact.

Blake Schofield 10:55
And it all starts with challenging and allowing yourself to see that whatever your life looks like today is never the full story. That there is so much more possibility for your life. And you just need to be able to find the right partner, the right supports, to be able to understand the lessons life is teaching you and use those to propel and move you forward towards the life that you truly want to lead.

Blake Schofield 11:26
And so if you’re listening today, and you’re like, “Yeah, I don’t know how to do that, Blake,” I want to encourage you, reach out, perhaps this is your call for an opportunity to truly level up in your life, in your career. And perhaps I’m the one to be able to help you do that. I feel so incredibly blessed to get to do this work and to get to share the lessons that I’ve learned. There’s nothing more powerful than being able to realize that you truly can create the life that you want, you can raise the floor in your life, which is to shorten the duration and the depths of your worst days moments or years. And in doing so your life gets exponentially better day after day, month after month, year after year.

Blake Schofield 12:18
It’s not just possible for me. It’s possible for all of us. When we learn to clean the windshield, when we learn to see clearly what are the lessons were being given, when we can really own and understand our value. And the places that we find purpose and meaning in our lives. And then we can align our time, our energy, our effort, behind the things that really matter. It’s truly transformative and powerful in the most beautiful of ways. It’s something that I wish and hope for all of us. And I hope that today’s podcast has opened that door for you in some new and powerful way to begin to see that you really have the ability to create all that you want in life. But it starts with the inner work and it starts with beginning to challenge what you believe to be true.