Treat Your Job Search Like Dating

Ep: 195

What goes through your mind when you’re sizing up someone’s long-term potential on a date?

You probably want to know whether or not you want the same things, share similar values, and perspectives on the world. If those things don’t match up, then you’re likely not going to pursue the relationship. After all, dating is a two-way street – you’re not just looking to impress the other person. You’re trying to determine whether they have long-term potential.

If we applied the same level of screening we naturally reserve for dating to another significant area of our lives, it could save us from a lot of stress and disappointment. 

Today on The Bridge to Fulfillment, Blake reveals the critical mistake we make when sitting through a job interview. Rather than viewing it as a long-term partnership based on mutual values and respect, we’re too focused on making a good impression. And that can often end up in compromises that won’t satisfy either party in the long run.

In this episode, you’ll learn how shifting your perspective when it comes to the interview process could help you recognize the red flags and know when to walk away. Viewing a potential job opportunity through the lens of a first date will help you understand whether or not your skillset is truly being valued. You’ll also learn how career coaching inverts the problem, helping you to see the entire interview process differently to yield better long-term results.

What You’ll Learn:
• What we’re forgetting about the job search process (1:06)
• Why you should walk away if someone isn’t willing to give you what you know you’re worth (2:18)
• How to view your job search more like a dating experience (4:06)
• Risks to be aware of when you’re looking for a new role (5:25)

Favorite Quotes:
1. Somewhere along the line, we thought that the job search was about impressing the company. We never actually realized that this is a two way street.
2. A person willing to take advantage of you and pay you the least amount of money possible will never be a great person to work for. You’ll always be fighting to be seen and valued.
3. Just like dating, if you aren’t treated well in your job from the beginning, you can guarantee it will get worse – not better.
4. We have to know and love ourselves in order to stand in our value, properly communicate it, and know when to walk away because we deserve better.


Additional Resources: 

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is.
We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to: https://thebridgetofulfillment.com/mistakes

Transcript

Blake Schofield 0:05
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment.

Blake Schofield 0:39
I see women all the time going about their life and their job search just waiting for someone to pick them for the right opportunity to come. Or when an opportunity does come trying to impress the other person without stopping to question whether this person company or job is really what they want. And no wonder then that so many people end up unhappy in their careers or stuck at companies that are toxic or not the right fit for them. You see, somewhere along the line, we thought that the job search was about impressing the company, we never actually realized that this is a two way street. It needs to be a win win on both sides, a mutual fit and a transfer of value. And I’ll give you example of why this is such a common part of the problem. You know, I had a client who is deep in the throes of interviewing, and she was sharing with me about this one company that she interviewed with where the guy initially said, Hey, you don’t have that much experience and basically told her that she’d have to accept over a 50% Pay decrease, to do work with him or someone like him. And instead of recognizing, okay, this person doesn’t get it, it’s not my right person, she actually felt compelled to spend time to try and convince him of all of her years of experience in what she had done. And she told me at the end how proud she was that he had interest in her after going through all of that. And my immediate response was like, what? Why do you even care about that person, I would have walked away very quickly after he basically told me, I’m not willing to pay you anything because of X, Y, or Z. And here’s why. Because a I know my value. And b I know that a person willing to take advantage of you and pay you the least amount of money possible, will never be a great person to work for. You’ll always be fighting to be seen and valued.

Blake Schofield 2:34
You see in my clients case, it was not lack of value on her end, it was his inability to see that value. Now let’s contrast that with another interview that same exact client had where she loved it. She said she went so smoothly, she really felt like it was her people, right? It was so easy for her. She said I feel like I blew them away. And one of the people she interviewed with actually said to her, you know what it feels like you already worked here. And I really realized through these conversations with my clients that not just do I help my clients stand in their value and position and communicate themselves in that way. But the approach and the entire job search and interview process that I teach my clients is completely different than what everyone else does. We Zig when everyone else Zags, we invert the problem. And as a result, my clients get incredible results. Others don’t. And here’s the analogy as I see it. Would you ever only date guys who were interested in you, but you weren’t really interested in? Only go where they wanted to eat and never where you wanted to wait for them to recognize and appreciate you? Would you accept a marriage proposal? Because somebody thought you were great. Even if you wanted five kids, but they didn’t even want any would you marry a guy if he were a city guy, but you wanted to live and raise your family in the country? I can hope not because I can almost guarantee that marriage would be a massive struggle, and honestly would likely lead to divorce. So then why do we not realize that when we are just looking for jobs, taking what comes to us are hoping that the other person sees our value and that we sell them that it’s like going on a date and just telling the guy whatever he wants to hear, without any care as to whether he wants what we want out of life. It seems silly. But that’s what’s happening every day. Now. If you consider your job search in your career, like dating or getting married, you’ll be a lot more set up to succeed in the long term. Why? Because you’d be clear on exactly what you wanted. You’d only date someone who met that criteria or had the potential to you’d ask questions to understand what it would be like to date or marry that person. You’d investigate yellow or red flags. You would align on what you both wanted. You’d make sure that this would be the right fit for both of you in the short and the longer term. arm. So the next time you’re searching for that next role, I want you to remember that it should be a win win a partnership, a great pairing, because here’s the thing, just like dating, if you aren’t treated well from the beginning, you can guarantee it will get worse and not better. How the company treats you from the very getgo says a lot about what they value, how they treat people and what you can expect. But beware, there are some risks in this process, it seems so simple to think I should just look for what I want, and ask for it. But you often won’t realize your own blind spots, your limiting beliefs or fears, or your lack of clarity on your secret sauce, transferable skills, and your criteria and non negotiables. And those things are critical for success. Because we have to know and love ourselves in order to stand in our value, properly communicate it, and know when to walk away because we deserve better. And when you know that you have keys to stand in your value and walk into a win win relationship that will yield great benefit on both sides. Thanks again for joining me. If you and listening to this feel like you really need and want some support in your job search. You want to make sure that you really understand your secret sauce, transferable skills, and you know how to position yourself to stand out in the market and truly step into the right next role, right not just the next job, but the right path, I encourage you to go ahead and check out my website, www.thebridgetofulfillment.com And you can start your own complimentary personalized fulfillment plan. I’ll help you understand where you are in this journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there and the right next step. See you again this time next week.

Blake Schofield 6:56
Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan  Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan  Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead.