Things Finally Seem Better at Work…Should You Stay?

Ep: 153

Do you find yourself constantly going back and forth on how you feel about your job? One day you can’t leave the office fast enough, and others, you wonder if maybe things really aren’t that bad? Not only are these constantly changing beliefs creating stress in your life, but they are also keeping you stuck.
Today, Blake shares why this emotional, yo-yo frame of mind is one of the most common mistakes women make in their careers and in their lives. She shares the evolutionary reasons why we do this to ourselves, and most importantly, how you can stop doing the back-and-forth and make a decision based on your core strengths and values.
You’ll hear the process one client went through in order to finally shift her perspective and change her life for the better. You’ll also learn how to uncover your fulfillment framework and overcome the fear that’s keeping you stuck so that you can see what you’re capable of and seek out what you deserve. Blake also shares a daily practice that’ll help you kick start the gears of change in your life.
Are you ready to make decisions from a place of wisdom and opportunity rather than out of frustration and fear?
What You’ll Learn:

  • Why we prefer certainty over the unknown (1:21)
  • How to know if you’re with the wrong company (7:04)
  • The importance of uncovering your fulfillment framework (10:50)
  • A daily practice to initiate change in your life (13:42)
  • How fear tricks you into accepting your circumstances (14:31)

Favorite Quote:

The thing [about your workplace] you keep telling yourself you can get over…you actually won’t ever be able to get over because it will never fundamentally align with what you truly believe. —Blake

Additional Resources:

Rather than hoping the grass will be greener, identify what the RIGHT next step is.

We can help you do just that.

Get clarity on where you are on your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optional paths to get there, and the right next step to take.

Start your complimentary, Personalized Career Fulfillment Plan by going to

Want free resources to set your job search up for success? You can get them by going to:


Blake Schofield 0:03 My name is Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of Connections Illuminated, mom to three, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to change women’s perspectives about what is possible, empowering them with the tools to create greater impact at home and at work without sacrificing their health time family or income. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment. We can begin to tell ourselves once we’ve gotten past the hump of a crazy project, a high stress timeframe, or just a challenging time that maybe it will get better. Maybe this job, this relationship, this, whatever that is, is worth staying in the challenges most of the time, that’s the lie we are telling ourselves was just exactly why we get stuck and eventually end up at greater risk, and ultimately leading to a breakdown moment. On today’s episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment I’m going to share with you one of the most common mistakes I see women making in their careers and in their lives. That’s the very reason that they stay stuck, unfulfilled and feeling trapped in lives that really aren’t allowing them to truly create the type of life and career that they want. Virginia Satir has an amazing quote, “people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty.” This was shared to me from one of my mentors, Nick, it’s complex, but I want to break it down for a minute because I find it to be really true. People prefer the certainty of misery. I know I’m unhappy, but the devil that I know, versus the devil that I don’t. I see this all the time. People who knows what they’re doing, makes them unhappy that they want something different. But rather than step into something that feels unknown, they will stay unhappy unfulfilled knowing that the very things they’re doing won’t get them where they want to go. And it’s one of the biggest risks that we have in our lives, and one that we have complete control over. So why do we do that? Why do we choose misery instead of uncertainty? Well, first and foremost, our brains are hard wired for survival honestly, not much has changed since the caveman and cave woman years, except that we’re no longer in mortal danger, right? We’re not really at risk. The things that we fear in our brain, maybe are equivalent to death, or something really scary or dangerous happening. But the reality is, we are so blessed to live in a world and in a society where that’s just not the case, we can make decisions or mistakes. And our lives generally aren’t at risk, we have opportunity to be able to pivot and create change and do different things. But we often haven’t been taught self awareness, we haven’t been taught how our brain works, we haven’t been taught that many of the things that we believe, aren’t actually true. And so when we just allow those emotions to come up, we feel that risk and that danger. And then we don’t act, instead of actually challenging Am I actually at risk, because here’s the reality. You have the power and the ability to change your life. But if you’re making decisions that are keeping you unhappy and fulfilled, and not leading the life that you really want, you’ve got to stop and challenge and take different actions. Because here’s the thing I’m watching people do this every single day, and it breaks my heart because the pattern I was stuck in for so long. The very door to everything that you want, I promise you is out there, there’s far more possibility for your life than you could even imagine. But if you’re so focused on what you might lose, or whether what you want is even possible, you will get trapped for months, years or even decades, instead of taking this step forward that will give you the very freedom and exactly what you want. I want to share with you an example about this that came up for me actually, this week with one of my clients in the program. She you know, within just three to four weeks in our program, which by the way is very typical. She is feeling so much a sense of relief light at the end of the tunnel, much less stress. She’s so much more in control of her calendar. She shared with me that things that used to frustrate her on a daily basis no longer bother her at all. She even got feedback from a co worker she works really close with about how much more positive she’s been and how she can really see how she’s growing as a professional.

Blake Schofield 4:49 And so what that started to do is what’s very typical, her mind then has started to kick in, hey, you know what, maybe this job isn’t so bad. I really do like this coworker. And you know, there are things about this company that I really do like and I have been successful. Maybe actually in the right company, but I just need a different boss or a different job. And here’s the thing, I want you to know what she experienced is so common. And I wonder if maybe that’s something that you’ve experienced. And you’re currently experiencing right now, the cycle of what I call fulfillment and unfulfillment of going through cycles, and you’re ready to make a change, and then something improves, and then you tell yourself, maybe I should just stay, you’re preferring the certainty of misery over the misery of uncertainty. Here’s the problem, though, my client, she didn’t have a framework to identify is what my brain actually telling me the truth. And she has major blind spots, we all do. Every single one of us has a limited perspective and biases based on what we know to be true, based on our life experience, which is very, very small in terms of the scheme of what’s actually possible in the world. And so I wanted to share this story and kind of dive into this with you today, because thankfully, she has me, she has the team here to support her to be able to actually break down this problem to identify what is the truth? Is she actually in the right company? What changes does she really need to make? And what are the right next steps for her, but likely you may not. And so I want to share with you why this is so important to get wise counsel, and why working with others that are further ahead of you is so key. Do you want to know what we discovered in that conversation? And I would tell you, we were able to have this conversation in five or 10 minutes, and give her extreme clarity about exactly where she is, what her circumstances are, what the right next step is for her so that she left confident and clear. This is something she would have spent probably months on on her own or years on on her own, then ultimately would have reached the wrong conclusion based on how we worked through this together. So here’s what we discovered, she absolutely is not in the right job. And there’s a couple ways that I was able to help her identify that, number one, if a woman is coming to me to join the bridge to fulfillment, or really seriously looking into this program, you don’t do that if you’re happy in your job, you don’t do that if you’re truly fulfilled, there’s something deeper, deeper, knowing a deeper inner voice, that you should be doing something different, that this isn’t the path that you want. If it was as simple as just a different boss, or a different job within a company, you would make that move. So that was sign number one, wait a second, if it was that simple, right? Number two, what I want you to know is your circumstances are only part of the reason that you’re unfulfilled in your career in life, I can guarantee it. Why? Because not only did I personally experienced that, but I’ve now seen and done this hundreds of times with women. So when my clients come in, in the first number of weeks, and I help them develop what I call, the first section of the program is called gain control. And where I’m really helping them develop the right habits, boundaries, skills, tools, to lead better balanced lives, to understand how their brain works to set their days up for success to focus their energy on the things that really matter, to gain control of their time, their energy in their mind, things absolutely get better. But it’s just a piece of the puzzle. Because there’s usually almost always sitting underneath there further misalignment in terms of values, or natural way of working or the type of work that you’re doing. And so as we started to break down and identify what was going on with her, I said to her, what were the things that are making you think maybe I should stay, maybe should say let’s talk about what it is that you really love about your job, or the company that’s coming up. And she talked to me about how it was a global company. And she really enjoyed that she likes the complexity of being able to work across lots of different teams. There’s a lot of structure at her organization, which she really enjoys. And that is how she works best.

Blake Schofield 8:53 So I’m like, okay, great. One of the things I wanted to ask her from that is, is that unique? Is it unique, that there are only a handful of companies that are global companies that have a lot of structure set up for their employees to be successful? The answer to that question is no, there’s actually a lot of companies like that. So it’s not really something that’s a risk for her to look elsewhere. Because that exists in a lot of other places. So we were able to then break down and identify, Okay, this thing you’re fearful of losing, not really a risk, there’s actually a lot of opportunity there. And then we started talking about what were the things that actually led her to be unhappy. And she shared with me that she’s working in a very male dominated industry. And that’s hard for her because from her perspective, it feels like men are given more opportunities. It feels like women have to work harder. Women have to prove themselves. And she said, you know, maybe, maybe that’s just my perspective, though. Maybe I’m missing it. And this is something I commonly see with women. We doubt what we see and experience. Right, maybe that’s just me. But as we continue to kind of talk about that experience We talked about her values and what she really wanted out of a company. One of the things she shared with me was that, you know, she’s not sure if she wants to have a family, but she does really value environments where women are given great maternity leave. And there’s balance and appreciation for maternity and paternity leave. And she shared with me that her current organization only gives women six weeks of maternity leave. And she’s here to share with me a few other things about what was happening inside the organization, what it was like to be a woman inside that organization. And as we talked, it became crystal clear to me that her brain was lying to her and telling her that it would be okay to stay in this job, that she actually is in a job that fundamentally will never ever align with who she is and what she values. Because ultimately, we uncovered what I call her fulfillment framework, the things she needs in her career in life to truly be fulfilled and happy. We uncovered her unique secret sauce, transferable skills. And part of that is a fundamental value system, in terms of how she does everything in her life, her personal life, her career, that’s around creating equity, and connection amongst people. And it’s why her global background and working in a global organization is such an amazing fit for her. She’s an ability to understand different cultures, different approaches, gaps in communication. And she has a fundamental natural gifts, skill and passion for connecting those dots for people. And so when we look at an organization where it doesn’t value women equally, there’s distinctive differences, there are clear things in the way that she was experiencing the culture. And the way the company was set up, that is set up, counter opposite to what she believes and values and does as a person. And so through this work, we’re really able to help identify the thing you’re fearful of losing that actually exists a lot of places, that’s not actually a risk. And the thing that you’re telling yourself, you can get over, you actually won’t ever be able to get over because it fundamentally will never align with how you believe. And then finally, the third nail on the coffin, as I like to say it, right is to be able to look and go, Wow, you’ve been really successful working in an organization that doesn’t align with how you work or what you value. Imagine the possibilities. If you were actually at a company that did if you were at a global company that had the structure that enables you to be successful, that truly valued collaboration, connectivity, understanding and appreciating people’s differences and building synergy amongst them. How much more impactful Could you be? How much more joy would you have getting up and going to work every day? How much more valued? Would you feel in your work and the difference that you’re truly making. And so through that discussion, she was able to get crystal clear, she left that call 100% Clear on the right next steps for her, she knew she’d never make that mistake again. Because fundamentally, her perspective had shifted. She now knows what she deserves. And she’s going to go make it happen. So why am I sharing this with you? I’m sharing this with you because I see this mistake all of the time. It’s the pattern I lived in for most of my corporate career, the fear around letting go, the misery of uncertainty, and the compromise. That is the true real reason why we are stuck. Things will never change unless you do. But you must be willing to open your mind to a new perspective, to recognize that you have biases that you can’t see. And just seek help from an expert who has more knowledge than you do.

Blake Schofield 13:42 Today, I want to leave you with a statement, something to potentially write down and share with yourself every single morning. It’s one I share with several clients this week that really resonated across the board. Here it is: I will make decisions from a place of wisdom and opportunity, not out of frustration or fear. I’m going to say that again. I will make decisions from a place of wisdom and opportunity, not out of frustration or fear. And I want you to understand why this is so powerful. Because when you stop and actually think about your decisions before you make them and you identify, right, am I making this from a place of opportunity, growth, wisdom? Or am I making this from a place of fear, lack of information or frustration, it will enable you to stop and make better decisions. Because here’s what I know to be true. Fear will trick you it will keep you trapped in analysis, paralysis or making decisions that aren’t in your best interest. But making decisions from a place of wisdom and opportunity will allow you to create the type of long term path that will be best for you. You know, my life today is infinitely different and far more expensive in ways I could have never even dreamed possible five years ago, when I was trapped in a lucrative career that wasn’t making me happy. And I can directly attribute that to two things. that have enabled that to happen. Number one, against proximity to experts and leaders who had been there and done that. And were willing to guide me and help me see and overcome my limiting beliefs and blind spots. And I continue to invest to this day in doing so. And number two, when it came down to it, I chose opportunity over fear. It didn’t mean it was always easy. But at the end of the day, I had to look at the circumstance and say, am I willing to be stuck doing something and allow that fear to drive my life? Or am I willing to step in and actually go for what I want. Finally, I want to leave you with an amazing quote from another one of my mentors, Jeff Moore, that he shared recently. And this is a great quote by Bob Proctor that goes like this: “Daith and fear both demand that you believe in something you cannot see. You choose.”

Blake Schofield 16:02 Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener, identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead.