Christine Chow 0:04
People have always been like, Oh, it’s okay to be vulnerable. And I was like, okay, yeah, and I never really understood what that meant until I was in this group. And we were all sharing kind of why we were feeling the way we’re feeling, thinking back of the root causes, you know, that drive those feelings. And that was really interesting to see for myself, because that is exactly the pairing myself, each and every job that I took was not to make myself proud, but to make somebody else proud. And I wanted to make sure. And this allowed me to, like really think about like, what do I want to do that, that’s going to make me feel proud of my own success, and that I’m no longer dependent on somebody else to tell me, that I was successful.

Blake Schofield 0:54
Hi, I’m Blake Schofield, founder and CEO of The Bridge to Fulfillment®, mom to three, USA Today top 10 professional coach, and former corporate executive who got tired of sacrificing my life for a comfortable paycheck. My mission is to expand women’s perspectives and empower them to achieve greater impact at home and work without sacrifice. This is The Bridge to Fulfillment®.

Blake Schofield 1:26
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of The Bridge to Fulfillment®. I’m so excited today to have my client Christine on sharing her story. We were just talking about her personal journey. And I think the circumstances to which she and I connected and she was struggling or dealing with, are so common. And she had a lot of questions as she went into this process. And I think being able to hear her journey, what she went through, and what’s really happened and transpired in her last several months of her life, my hope will be really, that it will be really enlightening and inspiring to you, to help you see and step into a greater future for yourself. So with that said, Welcome, Christine.

Christine Chow 2:09
Hi.

Blake Schofield 2:11
So excited to have him here.

Christine Chow 2:14
Thank you for having me.

Blake Schofield 2:16
All right, lady, it feels like it was just yesterday, we started this journey. And I said yeah, one of my goals is to have you here. And here we are just a few months later, talking about your journey. And what a beautiful journey it has been so far. But before we can kind of dive into that, I’d love for the audiences to get to know a little bit more about you. So, can you share a little bit about your background and kind of what was going on when we connected?

Christine Chow 2:42
Yeah, I’ve been in retail for 20 years. And in inventory management, you know, the most recent thing that happened to me in the last five or so years, with the industry, with layoffs, I’ve been impacted. And, you know, it started in 2017. And, you know, I, when I experienced the first one, I just felt like okay, I can move on. And then the most recent one that I experience really just affected me in a different way. I didn’t realize how much of the impact of that first layoff I was carrying with me. And also just where I was in my life, I just felt like I was at this impasse where I wanted to make sure the next move that I took and the next 10 to 15 years of my work, when that, what I would be doing for the next 10-15 years if, what should I be doing? Should I do something different? I just felt like I was feeling really curious about transitioning into something different, and maybe possibly into a different industry and just didn’t know where to start with that.

Blake Schofield 3:55
Yeah. And so what had you looked at or tried before we connected?

Christine Chow 3:59
Oh my gosh, I spoke with so many different people, here’s mentors, job placement resources, resume writings, all these things to help me decipher what my skills were. But what was really hard for me was most of my peers were all the people that I worked with. And I just felt like I needed someone that maybe could look at me from a different lens. These people knew me, so they always were trying to fit their comments to me, or and it just felt the same and it didn’t help me. They were very supportive. But I felt after even conversations with them, I still felt discouraged or still lost.

Blake Schofield 4:45
Often people ask and I say all the time that what we do at The Bridge to Fulfillment® is very different than, you know, a traditional career coach. I have so many women come to me after going that traditional route, resume writer, job placement service, career coach. What was your experience in terms of what you were getting there? And how would you now describe the difference between what happens in The Bridge to Fulfillment® from what else is out there in the market?

Christine Chow 5:10
Yeah, those services are very much on the surface, I’d say, is how I would describe it. It’s cookie cutter, I’d say, you know, just, here’s go look at a job racket and say, that’s what you do. And what the difference with this program was the deeper core, like deeper meaning of what was really driving, what made me happy, like my values, what I enjoy, really digging deep on those things, and also what I didn’t enjoy, and why didn’t I and what really helped dig deeper and a conversation about that. And the biggest part was really the peer interaction of other professionals and not feeling alone in the journey. I think when I was working with those other resources, it was always like a one on one. And it just felt like it was just me that was dealing with it. And I think with this program with a group, it helped me not feel alone.

Blake Schofield 6:17
Awesome. Yeah, the small group dynamic is one that I think so special and unique in what we do. There are other people that do small groups. But I think because of the nature of that we help a certain type of woman in a certain place in her career is so much more specialized, that there’s a level of synergy and understanding of one another that I haven’t seen elsewhere. Would you agree with that? Or what do you think made the group so impactful for you?

Christine Chow 6:45
I think what made the group super impactful for me, is the vulnerability that people were willing to come in and share. Even myself, I hadn’t allowed myself to be emotional, about where I was at, and how I was feeling and the journey that I was feeling, right, like the journey that I was taking in this discovery of myself. And it was really interesting to hear many other women talking about their journey and the similar way. And I was like, wow, I thought it was just me. And that was really comforting, and to feel brave enough to take it off.

Blake Schofield 7:28
That’s awesome. Often, I think a lot of the women that come in this program are used to solving problems on their own. They, like me, are used to having to put on, quote unquote, the armor, when you go to work and pretend to be this person that has all of your stuff together. And so I’ve heard women sometimes say that maybe it might feel scary to be that vulnerable, or be in a circumstance where you’d have to ask for help. Can you share a little bit about what your experience has been around that and maybe what you would share with somebody who has been in that situation?

Christine Chow 7:57
Oh, my gosh, that is so true. In who I, like, that was definitely one of the biggest things that I discovered in this work was that I was afraid to ask for help. For me this investment, it took me a second too, right? But I realized that I needed to help. And so and I think that’s what really opened my eyes was that asking for help isn’t a weakness, it is actually a strength in you to see that you need support. And support is great, because when you get it, it lifts you, right, and so that feels wonderful, and also just how to do it. And when we talk about vulnerable, you know, oh, people have always been like, Oh, it’s okay to be vulnerable. And I was like, okay, yeah, and I never really understood what that meant until I was in this group. And we were all sharing, kind of why we were feeling the way we’re feeling, thinking back of the root causes, you know, that drive those feelings. And that was really interesting to see for myself, because that is exactly the pairing myself, each and every job that I took was not to make myself proud, but to make somebody else proud. And I wanted to make sure. And this allowed me to like really think about like, what do I want to do that that’s going to make me feel proud of my own success and that I’m no longer dependent on somebody else to tell me, that I was successful. So I think those were the really big eye openers for myself.

Blake Schofield 9:29
I love that you describe the cookie cutter nature of career change. What’s typically out there that was my experience too. And I think often women are believing that the solve to their unhappiness, their cycles of burnout, that hustle and grind is to transition to a different boss, a different company, a less stressful environment, and it’s why we really focus on getting to the root cause of why are you really unfulfilled so that you have the tools, knowledge, and ability to feel great every day going to work, and a client’s wants on here that she said in this program to actually identify what makes you feel good and how you want to feel every day in your job. And I loved that. Because isn’t that the truth? If at the end of the day, you have all the markers of success, but you’re not happy doing what you’re doing? It doesn’t matter. Right? We have to love what we do. So let me ask you, you shared a lot about how your perspective changed, how personally you learned so many lessons about the things that were keeping you unfulfilled, but I ventured about that’s not why you came into the program. Let’s talk a little bit about that. Why did you come into the program? What were you hoping to accomplish when you first started this journey?

Christine Chow 10:41
Um, you know, as I was hoping to gain clarity on what I enjoyed doing, what drives me, what is it that really makes me tick, and when am I really in flow. I felt it in my bones that I was molding myself, every time I went to a company, I was molding myself to be what they wanted me to be. And I wanted to make sure I loved the things that I thought I loved. And, and gain back that love for it if it was actually what I enjoyed doing. And so this work really helped me see. It’s interesting, because when I came in, I was like, I just want to be in a different industry. And I was like ready to go. And I was like, I just got, I’m done. But the reality was, I really loved the work that I was doing. It was really aligned with the way I like to work. But you know, I love analytics, I love deep dives and analytics, I love partnerships. I love collaboration, all the things that I was actually doing. But I think what really opened my eyes was that the last couple of roles that I’ve had, I wasn’t bringing my whole self to work. I was separating myself, my personal life and my work life, for the last like five or seven years, I’ve been separating it because of that fact of where I felt when I got laid off. And now just like I was too attached, and I felt I was too attached to the team. And then I separated myself in the last couple of years. And I think that’s when I became the most unhappiest. What I realized is that I need to make sure I just bring my whole self to work everything about me, you know, I’m curious, I’m vulnerable, just all of it. And not just half of me. And I think that’s what I saw when I was working through this program was that I’d been separating the two. And that’s why I didn’t feel whole, right. Like I just felt often.

Blake Schofield 12:27
Yeah. And as you went through this journey, you also learned a lot about how to define the criteria of the right fit for you, from a company leadership, natural way of working. How has that changed your perspective about your perfect fit company or role and how you kind of look at the job search now versus what you have done in the past?

Christine Chow 12:48
Yeah, I mean, in the past, it was all about like, just title and salary. And okay, is the company, you know, running, okay. But with everything that I shared with values, the people are going to be really huge for me, that’s going to be super important. I think the work will come, right, because what I now know is a work will come, but for me, the people, the environment, the values of the company, is what I need to make sure is a big, really big match, so that I can be my whole self, right. And the other big thing is, I want to make sure I have the space and time that is really important to me to be with my family, a company that values that, and leaders have values that. So I think with those criterias, it’s like I know what to do when I’m deep in an interview or looking at a website, ensuring that they’re talking about that in their site. And then that carries through when I have conversations with people.

Blake Schofield 13:52
Awesome. When you and I connected you had already been, obviously we talked about you already, talked to resume writer, done job search, you were already deep in the job search, what were you experiencing in your job search that was creating pain, friction, or helped lead you to realize we’d have some gaps or some things I need help with?

Christine Chow 14:12
The biggest gaps that I think I had was just the clarity on how to, how to look. How to look, honestly. So those criterias that we talked about just a second ago was super helpful for me to understand. Okay, it’s people, you know, I want to make sure I have the environment and the values of company, the leaders. Do they value the same thing? How do I make sure to have those questions ready. The other pieces were what, you know, the environment in terms of work life balance. That was another big criteria for myself that I wanted to make sure. Okay, I want to look for role that is hybrid or remote like I’m really clear and crisp on what that looks like, I mean, down to the nuts details of, like, Okay, what does an effective and efficient team look like, you know, being able to really articulate in detail what that looks like. And I think that’s been really, you know, I didn’t think I needed to do those things. But I think it’s really great that in the program, we spent time to do that. Because it helps, now is like, I go back and I look okay, what did I say, you know, like, what did I say? Just to remind myself each and every time about what is it that I really want and make sure that it’s, at least I have something to help me remind me of the guardrails? Where before I felt like I was willy nilly, like looking at things. I’m like, oh, maybe that works. I don’t know, maybe. And now I just I know, before I get there and say, Okay, well, these, you know, five of these things are looking really good to my eight things that I said I wanted to have. And that helps me go forward with that company or that whole role.

Blake Schofield 16:02
So gives you a lot more focus in your job search and confidence in what you’re doing.

Christine Chow 16:07
Yeah, yeah, cuz definitely, as I, before went into this, that was one of the things I was really afraid, like, not afraid, I was really concerned about was like, I was unsure. Like, I just felt more sure, as I went through the program and completed it, that I felt more sure about the things that I do want, I can say them out loud, I’ve written them down, I’ve manifested it in my brain, dreamt about it, woke up to it. And so it has given me the confidence to feel good about what I defined for myself. That is good for me.

Blake Schofield 16:43
Awesome. One of the other areas we had talked about was a big shift for you was the networking process. That was an area you were having a difficult time when we connected. Can you share a little bit about what was going on when you were trying to network before? And then how has that changed for you now?

Christine Chow 17:01
Yeah, the networking before, I was only speaking with people I’ve known for many, many years. And those, they were great, and always will be, because that’s the community that I’ve been, they know me, they’ve seen me, and they know what I can do. But what I loved about this networking, pushing myself to network beyond what my natural community is to hear different points of views. You know, and with all the work that I had already done, it was so good for me to be able to share what I was wanting with complete strangers that never met me before. But I think what’s also good with this networking is about really getting to know the company from the inside, regardless if there’s a role in it. Right. And that’s always been a good one to do. I knew that naturally. But I always kind of paused to do it. But with this gives me more clarity why I need to do it. Because when I say my number one priority is the people. I can’t know the people until I network within. And because that is my one of my biggest guardrails, I need to do that even more, which I didn’t see that in the past, I was doing it more for like, oh, there’s a job, right? Like, maybe there’ll be a job. But my focus was this networking is about, is this the right environment for me?

Blake Schofield 18:27
You mentioned you were doing all your networking with people that you knew. But you would actually shared with me that there were some challenges you were having to that process even as you did, there were some mental barriers that maybe were stopping you from really networking, what was that? And how has that shifted from? How you think about networking today?

Christine Chow 18:46
The mental block was really, I just was worried they wouldn’t have time to speak with me, you know? Or why would they want to speak with me, and it felt uncomfortable, also, right, it felt uncomfortable to reach out to complete strangers. But as I kept doing it, when I did speak with someone, it was really great to understand, like what was going on the company. And so it really helped me see that it’s important to do it, right. Like it’s just I just need to do it, regardless of my fear. But what also was really good was if they didn’t reach out, it also showed me a bit about their culture potentially. And so that was really eye opening for myself too. It’s like, is this a community that does not, is not as open as I want them to be? And so that was really good for me to see, because certain industries I was having a really hard time getting replies back and then other industries, It was like, I was like, Oh my God, this is it. Like this is why I need to go back to retail, because this is the way they are so open, it, people, I actually reached out to people that were, you know, never, obviously never met me before. And was absolutely willing to have a chat with me. So that was amazing. And so to me, I was like, I am in the right place, I just need to make sure I’m in the right environment.

Blake Schofield 20:12
I love that. And I appreciate your journey, I think it’s important to highlight that. Often, when women come to this journey and end up connecting with me, there’s a very black and white perspective about what options are what it’s going to look like. And it’s always why we do this work. It’s why we uncover every rock. It’s why we really go deeper to understand what’s the root cause of why you’re enthralled and what sitting there. Because if you had just moved into another job, you wouldn’t be in the same place that you are today. And you would have likely found yourself repeating the exact same things. But because of this journey, you were able to realize, oh, wait, there were a lot of things that were aligned. And there was also other things that were misaligned. And I can fix or remove those things. So that I know that that next place is really going to give me what I want. And that’s the power in the whole process, I think. That’s just a huge part of why and how what we do is different and why we keep getting women who try to do this on their own, or work with other career coaches, and end up moving and our tabulator. Knowing the journey that you’ve had now, Christine, you know, when you decided you were going to join The Bridge to Fulfillment®, or you were debating, it’s probably better, right, you were debating, you are going to join this journey. You, I went back and I was like, Ah, it’s so many questions, which I, you had so many questions, but ultimately, a lot of them boiled down to, I think, at the heart of it, will this work for me? Can you share a little bit about what that journey was for you in terms of trying to figure out, Is this the right thing for me? Am I going to move forward? Well, I get what I want need out of it.

Christine Chow 21:49
I mean, the reality was, it was all fear-based honestly, like I was just scared, it wouldn’t work for me. And, and fear makes you run right? You’re just like, run the other way. And the reason why I decided, and actually it’s really interesting as, as I went through the program, right? It’s what we fear the most that we’re like, we’re gonna fail. But the reality is, I had nothing to lose. And so when I finally decided, I was like, Well, I’ve got everything to gain and nothing to lose, right. And if I do it, I’ll gain more than whatever I have today. And that’s actually one of the biggest things that I take away from the program. And it really made me think differently about taking uncomfortable choices, or uncomfortable situations. And that when you are uncomfortable, it’s because we’re about to have some amazing change, and that you’re just going to gain something new. So for me, that’s the mindset shift that I really needed. And to step away from, like, the fear to kind of just take it on. And I think that’s been really the biggest win for me.

Blake Schofield 23:04
Ya, I know, I lived almost the majority of my life making fear-based decisions. But I was not aware that that’s how I was making decisions, right? Because fear hides, in a lot of places. It hides in that, I need to know the specifics of what these costs look like, or how many hours I’m going to spend, or how long it’s going to take me to get XYZ results. And so it can be tricky for us often to see and understand that those underlying questions are just I’m scared, because it’s unknown and uncertain. And I’m not used to being in an unknown and uncertain place. What would you share with women who are in the place that you were in? Where you’re like, Gosh, I really feel like this is the right program for me, but, Oh, really scary. Or I’m really worried? What if it doesn’t work for me? What would you share with them now having been through this journey that could help them feel more confident and more comfortable in that unknown?

Christine Chow 23:57
Honestly, invest in yourself. It was so overdue, the last time I invested in myself in something that was going to give me my own personal growth was, like, college. And it is something that I know I think I want to, not, not think, I want to continue to do it. It’s not a, you know, initially when I joined, I was like, Oh, this will be my one time shot. But it’s like from here on now. And I want to make sure I continue to invest in myself. It helped me switch my mindset. Then I think, in whatever it is I’m going to do, the mindsets really the biggest thing I want to continue to take with me from this program.

Blake Schofield 24:41
But when you say it switched your mindset, how has that changed either how you feel, how you interact, or how you’re living life today?

Christine Chow 24:49
I feel more motivated. I just feel more free to try, you know, and to try new, something new. Even though it scares me, because at the end of the day, what’s the worst that could happen? Right? I’ll just learn something new. Or maybe, I’ll learn that and like that. At the end of the day, you know, it’s to not be afraid. And that each effort that we have towards something big we want, every small step is like a wind towards what you want. And I think for a longest time, I was laying my success on other people to tell me what it was. And for me to walk away, knowing that success is defined by me. Right? And so that’s what I’m really happy to take away from all of this too.

Blake Schofield 25:37
And so when you came in, you were feeling overwhelmed, lack of clarity, a lot of resistance to doing networking, comfortable a burden, and you didn’t know what to tell people because you didn’t really know what you wanted. How would you describe being in the job search process today?

Christine Chow 25:56
Oh, my gosh. Today, it just feels easier to just say what it is that I am looking for. It’s, I just have all the parameters of what it is that I want. And the conversations are simpler. And to the point. And like the other day, someone said, Hey, would you be willing to relocate? I said, No. Which I feel like before, I’d be like, well, maybe, you know, because I want to bend to them. But now I’m like, no, because I need the work life balance that is important to me in my life. And that isn’t going to match what I need. And so, I just feel more prideful of what it is I want.

Blake Schofield 26:42
Awesome. And it sounds like before it was all about who will accept me? And should I go to XYZ. And today, it’s more strategic, and it’s more focused on what you want. And so you’re driving those conversations, and you’re opening those doors, and you’re finding the things that would make you happy, which probably well, I don’t need to say probably, which then enables you to show up differently when you go have those conversations. Have you seen that show up in your networking, where you can see some really powerful networking conversations you’ve had recently, that ended or open the doors in ways they didn’t before?

Christine Chow 27:18
Well, yes, like one I had, I did have a conversation with someone about a role. And there wasn’t a role really available. And they were sharing with me like, hey, there is an opportunity that we may expand to this kinds of businesses. And I was like, so quick to say, Well, I’m your greatest candidate for growth in any international market. You know, if you want to ever go into Asia, wherever you want to go, Canada, I actually have all that you should really consider. I just felt more confident to say those things, which before I’d be like, who’s a little humble, a little quiet, and okay, not, not a match. I was even willing to be like, Look, if when you do start, I’m a great resource for you. And so to be able to say something like that, to that person, I would have hesitated before. And he was like, absolutely, like, and he was just like, let’s stay connected. You know, you never know, in a year where things are, he was the one who said that, it wasn’t me. And so that was really cool.

Blake Schofield 28:18
I love it. I love it, knowing your worth and value and being able to articulate it in a way that’s really compelling. And that’s what so much of this is about. And I think as women, we generally haven’t been taught how to do that. We have a hard time selling ourselves. We don’t want to brag, but there’s so much power and just really understanding your secret sauce skills, how you can really help people and being able to easily convey that. And that’s a perfect example of that. So thank you, Christine. Well, this has been so much fun, and our time is almost up. So with that said, is there anything I didn’t ask you that it should have or anything else, it’s just really on your heart that you want to share to help other women?

Christine Chow 28:57
I said it, I’m gonna say it again, because I think it’s super important. Invest in yourself. It is such a deeper program than just a person that’s helping you with a resume. It really touches the emotional pieces that you’ve been carrying with you, at least for me, that, and I think it’s really great to get clarity on that night. That work really helped me see why I was feeling the way I was feeling. And so I think that’s been the blessing of this program. Honestly.

Blake Schofield 29:31
I would imagine it and you’re able to just show up differently in your house, with your family.

Christine Chow 29:36
Yeah, totally. In the get go of the program. It was like well look at your calendar and like, I was like, God, I’ve been doing everything. So like, go ask for help. That was like the very first step. And it was awesome. Kids were like, asked my kids for help. And then the first thing they were like yeah, I don’t see why would we weren’t doing it. You know, things like that. So simple, but it’s so funny. But even from the get go was already delivering things that I didn’t even think about.

Blake Schofield 30:05
I love that. And often, this is the stuff that matters that we lose sometimes in is where’s the connection in my household, to my kids, to my husband? Do I feel supported or alone in this process? And so I love you saying like, even early on, you got your kids got involved. And with that, then you began to realize, like, Oh, I can rely on, I don’t have to solve all these problems. I can rely on my kids. But I would also imagine that that probably opened up more space for you to be more present with them.

Christine Chow 30:33
Yeah.

Blake Schofield 30:34
And is there anything that you’ve learned through what you learned for yourself? Because you said a lot of the big learnings for you were around mindset, or some of the emotional burdens or things you were carrying that were making you unhappy that you thought it was circumstances, but you realize it was actually you. Has it changed anything about your parenting perspective, or the way that you look at our approach your kids?

Christine Chow 30:55
It’s so funny, because I always tell my kids like, oh, they say, I can’t do, I can’t do, and I was like, Well, yet, yet, yet. And yet, I wasn’t doing that yet. And so, and I think that was really interesting. I was putting upon them what I want them to be versus what I was, I wasn’t, I wanted them to be that. But I wasn’t that. And so I think that was really eye opening for me to live that same kind of mantra, I was telling them to do. And so, and they, I have two girls, so for me, it’s even more so that I can carry this forward to them. And like, think about your value. And you know, my daughter, she’s great in math, and somebody wants to have her as a tutor. And I was like, Well, you better tell him how much you’re worth. And so, I think those are some of the things that I’m now. Yeah, she’s so, she’s speaking humbly. I’m like, No, you’re good at what you do. You just say, I’m good at what I do. And you know, so making sure we talk like that in the household. And so that’s been really good. That makes special.

Blake Schofield 32:03
Yeah, it makes me sad, because I think as moms, we want to be able to be that example for our children. And often, to your point, we’re not used to investing in ourselves, because we’re so used to investing in everybody else. But we don’t realize, that our kids are watching everything that we do. And venture to bet you’re just seeing the smallest ripple effect of the impact of this work that you’ve done for yourself, on your family, years to come, you will see how your girls are so much more empowered, and so much happier. Because you gave them an example of what was possible. So, thank you for being a part of this journey with me, the trailblazing and showing women what’s possible and for helping to help the next generation of women, close the gap that I think has been there for so long for us.

Christine Chow 32:53
Thank you. It’s been awesome. And exposing myself the way I’ve had in the last three months have been amazing. And it’s not negative when I say exposing. It’s a good one. It’s been really awesome.

Blake Schofield 33:08
Thank you. And for those of you listening, I hope that today’s call gave you the insight or the perspective shifts that you were really needing. Again, to know that there are so many more possibilities for your life. And sometimes the very first step is asking for help and recognizing that by investing in yourself, you’re not just investing in yourself, you’re investing in every single other person that you love, interact with, or lead. So until next time, have a great week.

Blake Schofield 33:43
Thanks for joining me today. Rather than hope the grass will be greener, identify what the right next step is. We can help you do just that. Get clarity on where you are in your journey to career fulfillment, where you’re headed, optimal paths to get there, and the right next step to take. Start your complimentary personalized career fulfillment plan at http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan. Again, you can get your personalized career fulfillment plan at http://www.thebridgetofulfillment.com/plan Thanks again for joining and have a great week ahead!